Twist of Fate
by IsabellaMCullen
Summary: What if fate took a different course for Bella Swan? What if, after Edward left her to keep her safe, the wolves were just a minute too late to save her from Laurent? Would she eventually find her way back into Edward's arms? Co-written with TotalEclipse
1. Chapter 1 Bella

Twist of Fate

AN: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyers. TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen just wanted to take them on an alternate journey. Enjoy.

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Twist of Fate

_Chapter 1 - Bella_

I already had the compass and map in my truck. I was getting pretty good at understanding the process of trekking through the woods, so I probably wouldn't even get lost. All I knew was that I was not staying alone in the house today. Charlie would be fishing with Harry all day, and when I was by myself, I thought too much about things that I shouldn't be thinking about.

Charlie would be worried if he knew I was heading into the woods, with the mysterious bear sightings and the missing hikers. But, I ignored the twinge of guilt.

I wasn't even sure what I was hoping to find at the meadow, our meadow. Maybe the feeling of déjà vu would bring on the voices. Well, not voices, his voice_, Edward's_ voice. Maybe I'd feel some sense of peace for the first time in who knows how many months.

I drove my truck along the familiar dirt road, where Edward had taken me all those months ago, and parked it near the start of the trail I wouldn't be following. I was fairly certain I knew where to start, so I followed the line of the web Jacob had drawn on the map which made it easy even for me to follow, and set off into the woods. The forest noises were all around me, birds chirping, insects buzzing. I began to feel a sense of unease as I made my way deeper into the trees. I was starting to have trouble breathing, though not from hiking. The hole in my chest was throbbing again. Not only did I have the large hole that was created when the Cullen's, my future family, along with what I thought was the love of my life, had left me, but now there was this new hole forming since it seemed Jacob was leaving me now, too.

Distracted by my thoughts, I was startled at just how far I'd come. I stepped through a low arch made by two vine maples, pushed past the chest-high ferns, and entered into the meadow.

I knew it was the same place, it was just as I remembered it; it was as if someone had created the flawless circle of the clearing. To the east, I could hear the stream bubbling. It was the same place… but it didn't hold what I had been searching for. There was nothing special about this place without _**him**__. _It was empty of everything, just like everything else in my life. Just like in my nightmares. I was alone.

I curled my arms around my chest to keep the hole from tearing me apart. There was too much pain in this empty place, I had to escape.

As I began to pull myself together to leave, a figure stepped from the trees. I didn't know who could possibly be here, far away from any trail. My eyes took in the graceful gait, and the pallid skin, while a rush of hope pierced me. I quickly glanced to the face that wasn't the one I was hoping to see. This wasn't the face I longed for, and yet this was no stray hiker.

"Laurent!" I cried in irrational pleasure.

Fear would have made more sense, but the meadow now held the magic I was looking for, even if it was a darker magic than I'd expected.

"Bella?" He grinned. "I didn't expect to see you here." He strolled toward me, bemused.

"I thought you were up in Alaska?" I smiled.

Laurent looked exactly the same, of course. But, I was expecting a little change since he had been living with vampires who didn't feed on humans. I was expecting the golden eyes of civilized vampires. Suddenly, I realized he was too much the same; his eyes were a dark red.

"I did go to Alaska, I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoy the advantages, the novelty of it. But, the restrictions are difficult…sometimes I cheat." He smiled, amused.

"Oh, Jasper has trouble with that, too."

"Is that why they left? The house seems empty, like they have been gone for awhile. I'm surprised they left you behind, I thought you were a pet of theirs."

"_**Lie**_," said the beautiful voice from my memories.

"They come back every now and again- I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry he missed your visit." I was starting to babble.

"Hmmm" Laurent took a casual step toward me.

"So, did you ever find Victoria?" I asked, breathless, desperate to distract him.

But this question did not distract him. He took another, more deliberate step toward me.

"Yes," he sad, taking another step. "I actually came here as a favor to her." He made a face. "She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" I asked, hoping he'd continue.

He smiled at me like a black-haired angel. "About me killing you," he purred.

"She wanted to save that part for herself, she's sort of put out with you, Bella."

"ME?" I squeaked.

"She thought it would be more appropriate to kill you, since Edward killed James…mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land, so to speak," he murmured, as he shifted his weight slightly.

I took a slight step back, and stumbled.

He frowned. "I suppose she'll be angry just the same."

"Then why not wait for her?" I choked out.

A grin lit up his face. "Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella, I was hunting, and you do smell… simply mouthwatering."

"_**Beg**_," my hallucination pleaded.

"No, please Laurent," I gasped.

Laurent shook his head, his face kind,. "Look at it this way, Bella. You're lucky I was the one to find you."

"I am?" I mouthed.

"Yes," he assured me. "I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing. If you knew what Victoria was planning for you, Bella…" He shook his head in disgust. "I swear you'd be thanking me for this."

"_**Don't move an inch**_," Edward's voice whispered in my mind. I tried to do what he said although the instinct to take flight was nearly uncontrollable.

Laurent closed in the final step, bringing him directly in front of me. He picked up a strand of my hair and inhaled the fragrance coming off of it. "Mouthwatering," he repeated.

I tensed, my eyes squinting as I cringed away. Edward's growls echoed in the back of my head_**. Edward**_… I was going to die now… _**Edward, I love you.**_

He ran one hand through my hair and smiled at me seductively. As his fingers became tangled in my hair, his other hand stroked my arm gently, up and down. He leaned in as if he were going to kiss me, inhaling deeply. With the hand in my hair he tilted my head sharply, exposing the skin of my neck. His grip tightened on my arm, and he placed his lips on my neck as lightly as moth's wings. With one final breath, I felt the sharp teeth break through my skin. I couldn't even scream I was completely stunned. The pulling sensation of my blood nauseated me as he drank heavily from my neck.

Laurent's head snapped up suddenly. His eyes widened as his nostrils flared.

"It can't be…" he murmured. His eyes darted back to me, his expression torn. I felt his grip loosen on my arm as his fingers disentangled from my hair. With one last look into the looming forest, he was gone. I felt my body fall to the earth, but it was as if I were dreaming. My brain couldn't register what was happening… was I already dead?

Through my tears, I saw movement all around me. Large, dark, unfocused shapes were rushing past me. I wanted to sit up so that I could make out what they were. Numbness overwhelmed my whole body- as if I had overdosed on Novacaine. I managed to pull myself up to my elbows and watched a handful of enormous animals rushing into the trees on the opposite end of the clearing. _**The bears**_!! Why would Laurent abandon me, his prey, even for such large bears? As I contemplated this, I saw another of these giant beasts- I realized it wasn't a bear at all, but rather some form of enormous wolf! It was now hovering directly over me. Its eyes were very dark, almost

black, it's fur, a reddish brown hue. As it stared at me, I was reminded of Jacob, and I was grateful he wasn't here with me. At least Jacob wasn't going to die. From the trees came a low growl, and the russet wolf whipped its head around, and he disappeared into the trees.

It wasn't until I was alone that I felt it. It was like a red-hot poker was at my neck searing my skin deep down into my veins. I knew all too well what was happening. I wasn't dying, I was changing. Memories of the ballet studio flooded back to me, but there was no one here to save me this time. I wished Laurent would come back and finish me off… or was it too late? The fire was spreading from my neck to my chest and arms. I knew I couldn't stay here. Charlie would look for me when I didn't come home. My truck would be found at the trail head. I couldn't let him find me like this. My legs were numb and heavy, but I willed myself to get up. The burning pain took my breath away, but images of Charlie flashed in my head, pushing me on. I had to move fast, before the fire in my veins consumed me. Where could I go?

I stumbled through the trees, tripping over vines and rocks, but I kept going, pushing my dull body to respond. I heard the stream and followed it, not knowing what else to do. Even the dim light of the forest stung my eyes, and I knew I couldn't go much further. The stream was getting louder, echoing in my ears. I could make out a rocky gray form as I collided with a hard stone wall. The waterfall roared beside me, and I stumbled toward the opening of a small, obscured cave. I didn't care what was in there. I actually hoped there was something that could kill me, to put out the fire. I fell to the cold wet ground hoping for death. My whole body was on fire now. Each beat of my heart increased the pain. The entire world went black.


	2. Chapter 2 Remembering

A/N: Thank you for your reviews so far! We are thrilled that you're enjoying this so far!

All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. IsabellaMCullen & TotalEclipse own nothing, except maybe an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;)

_**Chapter Two: Remembering**_

**_APOV_**

I wasn't entirely sure how long I'd been sitting here, alone in our room, staring at the photo frame in my hands. I was sure that Jasper was on his way home with Carlisle and Esme, and that he wouldn't be thrilled to find me here again, in this mood. He understood why I felt the way that I did, more than anyone else, and he tried to be as supportive as he could be. But he also felt that I should have been able to move past it by now. Well, past one part of it, anyway.

I grudgingly stood from my perch on the window seat and slowly walked to the mantle over the fireplace on the other side of the room, fingering the glass over the photo, as if I could touch the people inside. These are the times that I wish that I could cry, just a little. Reaching the fireplace, I slowly lifted the photo to my face, kissed each of the occupants, and returned it to its place of honor, right in the center of the wide mantle. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, turned and left the room.

Walking down the stairs, on my way to the living room to await Jasper's return, despite my intentions to distract myself, thoughts of how much I missed them both continued to flitter through my brain. Edward and Bella – my brother and my best friend. Just about six months had passed since the day Edward left Bella behind in Forks, 'for her own good' he had said, and at his request, the entire family moved as well. He believed she would be safer this way, without the Cullen's in the area to draw in other possibly nefarious beings. He wanted her to live a normal, human life. Which meant not only no vampire boyfriend, but no vampire best friend either.

"Don't look for her future, Alice."

"But, Edward, I-"

"No. I mean it. She'll be better off without us. Without me. Forget her and don't look for her future."

I had thought we would relocate together. That we would learn to adjust to this new life, a Bella-less life, as a family.

We departed together, all but Edward, who stayed behind to say goodbye to Bella once we were all gone. We traveled to Ithaca, New York, and prepared to start over again. We had done it before, many times. It would be easy to settle back into a routine.

Rosalie surprised us all on our second day in Ithaca, before Edward had even arrived. She had decided that she needed a break, time away from the family, and Emmett would be going along with her. She had arranged for flights out of LaGuardia National Airport to Paris France. That evening. Carlisle & Esme asked them to reconsider, to stay, even if only for a short while. Rosalie refused.

Tempers began to surface, tension was rising, and Jasper tried to calm everyone, but even he was still suffering the effects of the recent events. Jasper was torn apart by guilt over his attempted attack on Bella at her birthday party. It wasn't intentional. He liked Bella, and wouldn't consciously hurt her. But the scent of her freshly spilled blood was just too powerful to ignore. He had felt the burning thirst rise up in his throat and on instinct, he lunged. Edward kept Bella safe, Emmett and the rest of the family restrained Jasper. But the damage was done. Jasper felt it was his fault – Edward's decision to leave Bella. In his guilty, depressed state, trying to keep anyone calm was just more than he could handle.

Carlisle and Esme relented. As much as they wanted to keep their family together, they also knew that their 'children' were also adults, who were free to live their own lives as they saw fit. Rosalie & Emmett had left the family home before, living together as a newly married couple, and had returned. Hopefully history would repeat itself again. So Rosalie & Emmett jetted off to Europe, intending to backpack their way through the Swiss Alps and sample as many of the natural delicacies they had to offer.

Carlisle took a teaching job at Cornell and worked nights at the local hospital, spending little time at home. Esme kept herself busy restoring a seventeenth century house on the outskirts of town. Both were much quieter than they used to be. I'm sure that they talked to each other about the disintegration of our family, just as Jasper and I discussed it with each other, but those were private discussions. I could see the pain in their eyes, though, when references to our missing siblings came up in conversation. I knew they were hurting, just as much as we were. But none of us knew of a way to lessen the pain.

Jasper enrolled at Cornell, studying Philosophy, while I spent much of my time doing some personal research on my past. I discovered some records from the asylum where I was held, according to James, the tracker who tried to kill Bella a year ago. I discovered that I am Mary Alice Brandon of Biloxi Mississippi, and that the visions I see now were the reason I was institutionalized in the first place. But even this knowledge didn't lift my spirits.

I missed Edward. We all did. We thought he was going to meet us in Ithaca a few days after we left. I see now why he stayed behind. It wasn't just to say goodbye to Bella, it was to be able to leave the family without the confrontation. I don't know how I didn't see it, though in hindsight, I was so upset after the birthday party and then moving, it doesn't surprise me that I misunderstood his intentions.

Edward called a few days after we arrived in Ithaca. Carlisle and Esme had been trying to reach him, wondering where he was and how things had gone with Bella. Esme even entertained the idea that his delay was because he was having second thoughts and maybe he had decided to keep Bella in his life after all. Wishful thinking. Edward spoke to Carlisle briefly, told him that the talk with Bella was done, and didn't say more on the subject. He said he needed some time alone to think, and that he'd call soon. He wouldn't speak to the rest of us.

That was six months ago.

A few weeks ago, he called Carlisle at work, in an attempt to avoid the rest of the family. Carlisle said that he sounded depressed, weary, and hopeless. He said Edward was in South America, but wouldn't tell Carlisle why. Carlisle asked him to return home. Edward's reply was simply "I can't."

The few sporadic phone calls with Edward were difficult for Carlisle and Esme. While they weren't our biological parents, they loved us as if we were their own children. It was one thing to have their children be away from home, as Rosalie and Emmett were. They could handle that type of separation with grace and poise. But Edward's absence was different. Edward was special to both Carlisle and Esme, and Edward was in pain. Not physical – there was almost nothing in the world that could hurt a vampire. No, his pain was much more devastating. He was heartbroken, and no amount of love from Carlisle, Esme or any of us could even begin to repair his broken spirit.

I had been staring out the window into the night. I missed the lush overgrown forests of Forks. Ithaca was beautiful in its own way, but it wasn't home. I stepped away from the window and slowly followed the perimeter of the large living room, trying to find something to take my mind off of my thoughts. None of the books called to me, I wasn't in the mood to listen to music, and there was never anything good on the television. I toyed with the idea of going for a run through the forest, but shelved that immediately. I told Jasper that we'd go hunting together when he returned home from his classes. I glanced quickly out the window on the other side of the room, hoping to see him running down the long drive to the house. There was nothing outside but the silhouette of the trees against the moonlit night sky.

I was getting frustrated. I hated this. Nothing held any interest for me anymore, everything was bland and lifeless. I missed my family. I missed the bond we all have together. I missed Bella. I missed Edward. I missed Bella and Edward being together, happy, as they were all last summer. I missed hearing my own laughter.

I sat on the large couch, leaned back, and closed my eyes. I needed to calm down. Jasper would be here in less than a minute. I could hear the car turning off the main road onto our long driveway. I listened to the quiet hum of the engine as it made its way closer to the house. I wondered, randomly, if Rosalie would return before any of the cars needed any type of service or repair. The car came to a stop, the engine quietly ceased. I lifted my head and opened my eyes as I listened to the car doors open and close. One. Two. Three. They were all home.

Carlisle entered the house, followed by Esme and Jasper. All seemed to be on autopilot. I stood to greet them, embracing each one, with a kiss on the cheek for my parents, and a light one on the lips of my husband, and welcomed them home. We all sat in the living room.

"Carlisle how was your day? Anything interesting happen?"

Carlisle seemed to take a deep breath and sigh. Normally a strange behavior for a vampire for whom breathing was not necessary, but I had noticed it had become a habit of his recently.

"My day was … routine. Med students are the same no matter where they are. But there are a few I would consider to be very promising. How about you? What did you do today, Alice?"

I didn't really know what to say. I was brooding over the past? Wallowing in my own feelings of loss? I didn't think that would be received very well.

"Oh, not much. I spent some time on the computer trying to find out more about the asylum, but came up empty handed. So after that, I decided to check to see if the Fall Fashion show previews were out yet, but they're not." Searching online for fashion, they'd believe that. "How about you, Esme? Were you able to get the paint off the doorframes that were giving you such trouble?" The house Esme was restoring had gorgeous hand carved arches over the doorways, but they had been painted over many times, filling in the intricate details and rendering the overall effect "a total mess".

"For the most part. I think I found almost 12 coats of paint on the doorway to the dining room. In at least 5 different shades of color. I can't understand why someone painted it in the first place. But I'm almost done w/ that, then I can move on to the doorways upstairs." Esme paused. "You've been quiet, Jasper. All the way home. Is everything okay?"

Jasper turned to Esme. "Yes, Esme, thanks. I'm fine. Just going over a few points that were made in class today. Nothing important."

I looked at Jasper. He did seem distracted. I reached over, lightly took his right hand in my left, and I squeezed lightly. He turned to me and smiled softly. Not a smile that reached his eyes, but one that let me know that he was aware I was concerned.

Carlisle stood. "I have a bit of work to finish tonight. Please excuse me." He reached down to pick up the briefcase he brought in from the car, and proceeded down the hallway to his office. We heard the door click shut behind him.

"Esme, is Carlisle okay?" I asked.

She turned to me, a small smile on her lips, but pure sadness in her eyes.

"I don't know, Alice. I'm going to talk with him. I'll be back." And she followed the same hallway to Carlisle's office.

I remained on the couch with Jasper, our hands still entwined.

"Alice," Jasper began, "are _you_ okay?"

"I'm fine, Jasper, why?" I thought I had locked all of those feelings away before he arrived.

He looked down at our hands, adding his left hand to the embrace and squeezing softly.

"You were focusing on the prom picture again, weren't you?" He looked up to gaze into my eyes. His eyes showed sadness, and pain, but also I could see the unconditional love and caring that he always had for me. I didn't want to lie to him. "I could feel the sadness a few miles up the road."

"Yes," I replied in a quiet tone. "I miss them, Jazz. I was thinking earlier today, it's been almost a year since we took that drive to Phoenix in the Mercedes. I remember thinking on that drive that when it was all over, when James had been taken care of, that they would be able to relax and just be happy. And they were, for a while. We all were. Well, maybe except for Rosalie," I chuckled lightly. "We had so much fun last summer. The baseball games, the movie nights, the sleepovers." I looked up at him; with what I am sure was a very desolate look on my face. "Jazz, did he know then he was going to end it all with her? I go through my memories and sometimes I think I see something in Edward's eyes, and I'm not sure if it was always there, or if I'm just making myself crazy."

Jasper looked away from me, and turned his head slightly to look out the window, as if he were contemplating just what to say.

"I'm not 100 sure. He was often battling some sort of internal conflict, so reading his emotions wasn't very easy. But if I had to swear on it, I'd have to say yes. I think that he was enjoying spending time with her and being in love with her, but there was a small part of him that didn't believe in himself. Didn't trust himself to keep her safe and didn't believe that he deserved her. I think that …. " Jasper hesitated. "I think that after what happened at the party, that small part of him stood up and said 'see, I told you so'."

If he said anything after that, I didn't hear it. My attention had been completely diverted to what I was seeing behind my eyes. The scene played out for a few seconds with alarming clarity. I had never seen one of hers be so … solid.

I could hear Jasper beside me. "Carlisle, Esme, could you both come to the living room, please? It's important." Jasper didn't raise his voice past his normal conversational volume, but Carlisle and Esme heard him as if he had shouted through a bullhorn. They materialized almost instantly.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked calmly. Esme clutched his hand in hers, as she gazed at me.

"She's having a vision. How long has she been like this?" Esme was concerned – this was unusual for me.

"Five seconds, maybe a few more, but that's longer than what's normal for Alice."

I shook my head, surprised at the strength of the vision as well as the subject.

"Alice?" Carlisle looked at me, his tone light, but cautious.

"I.. I saw Bella," I whispered. "I don't know. Sometimes my visions aren't right, sometimes they mean something else entirely. Sometimes … " I felt myself growing anxious.

Carlisle moved to sit on my right side, and held my left hand.

"Alice, relax. Start at the beginning. What did you see?"

I looked first at Esme, then Jasper, then Carlisle – all very curious and concerned.

"It's Bella … she's changing or will change. Soon." I said this with all the seriousness I could inflect into such a statement.

Their heads all moved simultaneously, looking at each other, unwilling to ask the next clarifying question. Esme took the initiative.

"Alice," she quietly inquired, "what do you mean, Bella's changing? Changing what? School? Clothes?"

I stared at them all, incredulous. Did they not just hear me?

"Esme, Bella's going to change into a vampire. And ... she's alone. Somewhere, I can't tell where. It's not a place I recognize, but she's there, and she's in pain. I'm not sure if it's started already. If it hasn't already, it wont be long now."

They stared at me, wide eyed. Each knew that my visions weren't always correct; they were only as concrete as someone's decisions. Changed decisions led to changed visions. But this isn't like before, like the visions I used to have of Bella as a vampire. In those visions, the change was complete. I had never had one that showed her during her transformation. I knew this one was true.

"Carlisle, I'm going to Forks." I stood up, intending on running upstairs to grab my purse, wallet and keys. I had to find her.

"Alice, wait. What if the vision isn't what it appears? What if its something else?" Carlisle looked wary. He knew how much I wished that things had ended differently. Perhaps he felt that I wished this vision into existence?

"I wont be sure until I find her. What if it is real? What if something has happened and she is changing? What if she is alone? I can't sit here and let that all unfold, as if I were unaware. I'll find her. If she is fine and she's safe, I'll leave. She won't even know I was near. But if something has happened ….." My voice trailed off, considering the number of possibilities.

"We'll find her, Alice. And if something has happened, we'll take care of her. I promise." Jasper had risen from his place on the couch and stood by my side, his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me tighter to him. "Carlisle, could you please drive us to the airport?"

"Of course. Alice, are you sure you didn't recognize where she is?"

"No. I could hear water in the background, a waterfall maybe? But she's somewhere dark, lying on the ground."

"She could be anywhere around Forks." Esme's face showed how nervous she was, though I couldn't tell if she were nervous that we wouldn't find her, or nervous that we would. "Jasper, you may be able to sense her before you see her, so be on alert. And both of you," her eyes darted to both of our faces, "be careful."

We both flew up the stairs quickly, threw a few essentials into a bag, and returned to the foyer where Carlisle was waiting for us, keys to the Mercedes in his hand.

Jasper leaned over to hug Esme. "We'll call you with any news when we get there." He left to put the bag in the car.

Carlisle kissed Esme on the cheek. "It might be a good idea to give Rose & Emmett a call. Let them know what's happening. If Bella needs us, it would be better for us all to head to Denali. I'll be back soon."

Esme nodded her understanding. If Bella was found, and was indeed changing into a vampire, Ithaca would not be the safest place for a newborn.

I went to say goodbye, anxious to get on the road. Esme pulled me into a strong hug, squeezed me tightly, and whispered softly into my ear.

"Bring her home."


	3. Chapter 3 Discovery

**_A/N: Thank you for your reviews! We appreciate your comments! This is a slightly shorter chapter, so we might be updating quicker! _**

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. IsabellaMCullen & TotalEclipse own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;)_**

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_**Chapter Three: Discovery**_

**APOV**

I shut the window shade with a snap, crossed my arms across my chest, and tapped my fingers against my upper arms, in time with the tapping of my feet. My jaw was clenched tight, my eyes closed, silently willing the plane to fly faster. For the thousandth time, I wondered why this plane couldn't be the Concorde. That's what I needed – the fastest plane in the world. Instead, I felt as if we were moving about as fast as Wright's biplane.

A wave of calmness swept over me, seeping into every aspect of my being. I could feel my jaw unclench, my posture relaxed, the toe tapping came to a halt. I looked over at Jasper and smiled at him.

"Thank you. Again."

He chuckled. "Alice, I know you're anxious, but you have to relax. Getting yourself worked up isn't very productive right now." His hand had been holding onto mine the entire night, since we left the house. He pulled our hands up to his face, placing a light kiss on the back of my hand, before laying them back down. It was in these simple little gestures that I felt the depth of his love for me. And again I acknowledged how lucky I was to have him in my life. I nodded to him, indicating that I knew what he said was right, and I leaned to the left, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I know, Jazz. But I need to know that she's okay. And if she's not, she's going to need us. I hate the idea of her being alone. I've hated it since we left her." I was quiet for a few moments, trying to see if I could 'see' her again, learn anything new.

"Nothing?"

"No, nothing. If she is in the process of changing, her mind would be … busy, I guess."

We were both quiet, immersed in our own thoughts.

"Jazz? What if she is changing? I mean, do you think that maybe things will be right again?" My voice was a whisper, partly due to the other passengers trying to sleep on the red eye flight, but partly because I had been afraid to put my hopes into words. "What if she is now one of us, but she hates us?"

Jasper took a minute to answer.

"I don't know how to answer that. I want the family back together again just as much as you do. But I've also learned that things happen for a reason, in their own time. I just want to concentrate on finding her as quickly as possible. Once we do, maybe things will look a little clearer."

We were silent the rest of the flight. We had caught the last plane to Seattle that departed Ithaca at 12:30 am EST. It was a six hour flight, and with the time zones calculated in, we landed on the West Coast at 3:45 am PST. Carlisle had called ahead, so that a rental car was waiting for us, despite it being the middle of the night. We were on the road by 4:00 am. The 150 mile trip took us just over an hour, and we crossed the town line of Forks Washington a bit before 5:30 am. Now the question was – where to start?

Jasper drove along the tree lined street, deadly quiet this early on a Sunday morning, and without blinking an eye or slowing down, turned right into the 3 mile driveway to our home. The foliage had started to encroach on the perimeter of the grounds, little sprouts coming up where previously the constant usage by our vehicles kept them from gathering purchase in the soil.

I knew I had missed home, but it wasn't until I could see the outline of the house against the soft light of dawn that it fully hit me. From the time that we landed in Seattle, the excitement inside of me had been threatening to burst from within. At the airport, I was simply rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet. In the rental car, I felt I was vibrating with anticipation. Now that we had pulled up to the house, I couldn't contain it anymore. I leapt from the passenger side of the car, without waiting for Jasper to come to a full stop, and ran up the stairs through the front door, into the foyer of our home.

"We're home!" I shouted. Over 80 years as a vampire, over 55 with Carlisle and Esme and the Cullen's, through all the different places I had been alone and as part of our coven – this was my home. I was always happy with Jasper by my side, but here, in these woods, was where I felt we, as a family, were complete. I could feel the smile on my face, the first real smile that I had felt in so long.

I heard Jasper ascending the stairs behind me. As he crossed the threshold, I flew into his arms, held him to me tightly, and kissed him fully and deeply. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tighter to him. After a moment, he chuckled.

"I've heard that some have trouble dealing with the time change from one coast to the other, but that transformation takes the prize."

I hugged him again, quickly. Then released him, took a quick look around, thrilled to be standing here again, then walked with determination up to our room.

"Alice, what are you doing?"

I stopped on the stairs, hand on the railing, and looked over at him.

"I can't go searching through the woods in these shoes! I'm going to see if my sneakers are still here."

Jasper waited patiently in the living room, while I found my hiking boots (my sneakers must be in New York). I opted to change my entire outfit to something more apropos for wandering through the jungle, and returned to the living room in less than five minutes.

"Okay, Jazz, let's go."

"Do you know where we should start?" Jazz looked perplexed. He knew that I hadn't had another vision about Bella, and that the last time we discussed this, I still didn't have a starting point. But at that immediate moment, I knew exactly where to start.

"Of course, Jazz. We're going to Bella's house."

With that, I opened the front door, waited for him to join me, and we both took off running through the woods on our way back to Forks.

We checked Bella's house, finding neither Bella nor Charlie at home. From there the next logical place to look was the woods behind her house. We trekked along the trail, running about half speed, Jasper concentrating on trying to pick up Bella's emotions and both of us trying to find her scent. Still found nothing.

"I think we should head over to Lake Crescent. There are a few waterfalls around the lake, maybe she's near there?"

Jasper's military background came in handy when it came to executing a plan. And his idea had merit. I was thinking that maybe the water sound I had heard had come from LaPush, the reservation on the coast, but maybe Jasper was right. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I felt I was missing something though, some little detail that would point us in a more absolute direction.

We left Forks and headed east, towards Olympic National Park. Once in the park boundaries, we progressed northeast to reach Lake Crescent. The further into the park we pushed, the more that nagging feeling prickled at the back of my brain. I was missing something, but what. As we ran, I replayed the vision in my head, trying to see if I had missed any details. No, there wasn't anything that would accurately pinpoint her location.

Jasper lead the way, through the trees, pushing forward, glancing back every now and then to find me right behind him. I looked around, taking in the scenery, the way the trees grew tall and straight, the moss crawling up the bark, everything in gorgeous shades of emerald and jade. I noticed the way the sunlight broke through the canopy in spots, creating a halo effect on the ground below, illuminated by the light.

I slowed down, coming to a standstill, staring at one small section of the forest. I cocked my head to the side, willing that nagging feeling to put the pieces together. And then it hit me.

"Jasper! I've got it! I know where she is!" Jasper was quite a distance away, but heard me without difficulty. He turned right around and joined me at my side. I was looking around, trying to figure out exactly where we are, and exactly where we had to go.

"Alice? Did you see something?" Jasper looked perplexed.

"Yes, no … I mean, I didn't have a vision, but I think I know where she is. Jasper, isn't Edward's meadow on the northern side of Lake Crescent?" The minute I said it out loud, I knew I was right. I could feel it deep inside – she had been at the meadow, and was still near there now. I grabbed Jasper's hand and ran, letting my feet just pull me to her.

Within minutes, we had found her scent. We followed it right into Edward's meadow. Bella wasn't here, but I also knew she wouldn't be out in the open. In my vision, she was somewhere dark, hidden. I looked to Jasper, who had his eyes closed, trying to determine which way she had gone. The rainfall overnight had washed her trail away, but a faint echo of it remained. I watched him, eager for a sign. His head snapped to the side, his eyes open and blazing with certainty.

"She's close."

I didn't realize I had been holding my breath. I let it out quickly, and followed him across the meadow, understanding that she was there, that my vision was correct, that Bella was changing. I felt something, what humans might refer to as 'butterflies in the stomach'. We were going to find Bella, and I couldn't wait till I could wrap her in a hug and tell her how sorry I was and how much I missed her.

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**BPOV**

My mind dipped in and out of consciousness. The waves of fiery pain would dull until they were almost bearable enough to form a coherent thought, but as soon as I realized what was happening, the pain would stun me back into the abyss. As time dragged on, the periods of awareness lasted longer and longer. Sometimes I could hear the roar of the waterfall or smell the stagnant water of the pools inside the cave where I lay. I knew I should be cold, but the venom coursing through my veins heated me from the inside out. How long had I been here? I wasn't sure if it was minutes or hours, or even days.

As my mind became clearer, I was able to remember what led me here. I remembered the look in Laurent's eyes as he ran his hand through my hair, the smell of his breath as he leaned into me. My body was changing; I could feel my heart beat slowly, sending a jolt of pain with each pulse. I had dreamt of becoming immortal at one time, but in my darkest hour I didn't imagine it like this. My life wasn't supposed to end like this. Why would I want to live forever if Edward wasn't with me?

"Bella!" a voice called from far away. Alice. I would know her voice anywhere. Was I dreaming? I didn't have a chance to dwell on the thought as another current of pain shot through my body. It wasn't as bad as the others; I could still hear her calling my name as I stuck my head between my knees. I waited for it to fade, so that maybe I could call out to her. Maybe Alice could save me.

"We're coming, Bella, you'll be alright," Jasper's voice sounded closer. I gasped with everything I had, praying they would hear me. Could this really be happening? My family, I thought. I could deal with the pain if my family was with me.

I felt Alice's hands pull my face up; my vision was blurred, but I could make out the spiky hair of my best friend, and I thought I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. "Oh, Bella, everything is ok, we're here now," she said, as she touched her cheek to mine. The pain pulled me under again, but I knew I would get through it.

"We have to move her, Jasper," Alice whispered. Jasper swept me up like a child and we were running through the forest. The cool wind felt unbelievable on my skin, I never wanted it to stop.

As we slowed to a walk, my eyes fluttered open. My vision was becoming clearer; I could make out the looming white house not twenty yards from where we walked. The sun was shining directly overhead, and I realized I must be in the second day. I succumbed again to the pain, knowing I was half-way through.

After a few minutes, I could hear Alice speaking. I tried to focus on what she was saying. "I'm guessing she's near the half-way point, Carlisle. She responds when I speak to her, and I think she recognizes us. Have you heard from him yet? I tried to reach him, just after we arrived at the house with her, but he didn't answer." She was speaking to Carlisle, but was he here? I couldn't hear his voice; so far I'd heard only Alice and Jasper.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Jasper was speaking to me, and I could feel his calming influence. I opened my eyes and they both smiled at me. When I nodded my head to let them know I understood, they both sighed in relief. I could see that we were in the living room of the Cullen's home in Forks.

"Carlisle will be here soon, Bella. And, the rest of the family is not far behind him." Alice's voice brought the sweetest relief to what seemed like Hell on Earth. I closed my eyes again, riding the wave of pain with the conviction that I wasn't alone.

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**Please review ... chapter four will be up soon! **


	4. Chapter 4 Reunion

**AN: Thank you all so much for your reviews! :) We are more than thrilled that you're enjoying the journey! **

All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. IsabellaMCullen & TotalEclipse own nothing, except maybe an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;)

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_**Chapter 4 - Reunion**_

EPOV

The phone had rung a dozen times in the past two hours. After the thirteenth time, I looked at the caller ID. Alice knew that I just wanted to be left alone. Why was she suddenly calling me relentlessly? I had decided to answer it this time, but the line was dead when I hit the send button. What if something was wrong? I didn't doubt that she'd keep calling until I answered.

I wasn't precisely sure where I was. Somewhere in the jungles of Brazil, away from civilization. It was here that I could escape from the thoughts of the rest of the world. At least this way, I only had to deal with my own thoughts. And there was only one thought, really. Bella's smile. She was all I could see, her smile, her warm eyes, begging me to come home to her. No, she deserved better than me. She deserved the normal life that I could not give her.

Just then, the phone rang again. I knew Alice wouldn't be able to contain herself.

With a sigh, I opened the phone, but it wasn't Alice's number that appeared. This time it was Carlisle. This couldn't be good.

"Carlisle?" I could hear the anxiety in my own voice.

"Hello, Edward. I know that you said you'd call when you were ready, but, son, we really need you right now." Carlisle wasn't one to plead, he always trusted my judgment. It was unnerving not being able to hear his thoughts and I was unsure of the emotion in his voice. Maybe panic or desperation?

I pushed aside the feeling of guilt that rose each time I heard one of their voices. I knew that I was hurting Carlisle and the rest of my adoptive family, but it was better for them to not have to see me this way.

"Carlisle, I can't come home, I think I've found a new lead as to where Victoria has run off to." This wasn't exactly the truth, but I had to be ready with my defense.

"Right now, there are things that are of more importance right here in Forks, Edward."

He was in Forks? "No, I can't come to Forks, Carlisle. I thought I made my wishes clear." I tried not to sound unkind, but I needed to be firm. Otherwise it would be too easy to convince me to go back to the only place I truly wanted to be.

Carlisle sighed, and continued, "There is no easy way for me to say this, so here's the thing, Bella has been bitten."

_What_? My mind was trying to grasp what he was telling me. I couldn't begin to know how to respond. First I felt shock, then utter disbelief, finally only anger. How could I have let this happen?

"Who?" I whispered, as the rage threatened to consume me.

"We don't know the details yet. Alice was true to her word, she wasn't watching Bella's future. But, last night she saw her. We only know that she's alone. Alice and Jasper flew out immediately, and I'm following them with the car, I'll be there in just a few hours."

"I'm on my way." I was already running, the jungle a blur all around me.

"I know I don't have to tell you this, Edward, but be prepared for anything. We have no idea what Bella's lived through for the past six months."

"I can handle this, Carlisle. You don't have to worry. I'll be in touch." I snapped the phone shut, my mind racing. Could I do nothing right by Bella? I left her in the first place to save her, only for it to come to this. How could I face her? None of this mattered. If there was anything at all I could do for her now, I would do it. Even if she sent me away.

The plane ride from Brazil to California was unbearable. Of course my thoughts were only of Bella and what she was going through. I felt so helpless. Once I had rented a car to take to Washington, I felt some sort of control. When I saw the sign welcoming me to Forks, there was no denying the relief that washed over me.

I knew Alice would be expecting me, and sure enough, when I pulled up to the house she was pacing on the porch. "Edward!" She was in my arms before my hello left my throat. I was always happy to see Alice, this time was no different. As I hugged my little sister, she filled me in on the past three day's events. I was thankful she was able to tell me everything with her thoughts, as I reminded myself that Bella's hearing would be as good as the rest of ours now.

I closed my eyes, and exhaled. "Thank you, Alice, for everything."

"Of course," she smiled, but abruptly her mood shifted. "_She doesn't know you're here…what will you say to her?"_

"I don't know, I honestly don't know," I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair. What could I say-' I'm so sorry, Bella, I left you here, only to become what I feared most in this world, but, really I love you.'?

She smiled at me, and took my hands in her tiny hands. "_We've all hurt her, Edward. The best we can do now is just be there for her. She has a lot to deal with. I think it's going to take time for her to accept our apologies, but I'm sure she'll come around." _With a wink, she started walking toward the house, towing me along with her.

Inside, Jasper was sitting on one of the couches, deep in thought. He stood up when we walked in, embracing me quickly. "It's good to see you, brother," he said as he patted me on the back. "_This is NOT your fault, Edward." _I knew he wouldn't argue with me, but he could sense the guilt I was feeling. I pursed my lips and simply nodded.

"I'm glad you're here," Carlisle entered the room, shut his phone and quickly placed it on his belt before embracing me. "We have a lot to discuss, but for now, it might be a good idea to let Bella know you've arrived."

"She should be cleaned up and dressed by now. Go to her, Edward," Alice prompted in a gentle voice.

I started up the stairs, without the slightest inkling of what would happen.

BPOV

I woke up from the worst nightmare I'd ever had. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. The dream was very vivid, and I was so keyed up, it was beyond pathetic. I had dreamed Laurent had found me, and I could remember the pain and torture that followed. In the dream, the Cullen's had saved me. I took a deep breath. Was I losing my mind? I could almost smell Edward and I sat up suddenly, wrapping my arms tightly around my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut, until I realized no tears were coming. My eyes opened, and I noticed that I wasn't in my room. But I recognized this place. I was still dreaming, and I was in Edward's room. I could even hear their voices. I shook my head trying to wake myself. If this continued, I would surely go over the edge.

"Bella…is it over?" Alice came in and sat next to me, perched on the edge of the black leather sofa. She took my hand in hers, and I looked into her beautiful eyes, not knowing what to think.

"Alice, is it really you? Ugh, I must be dreaming!" I could smell her, I could see her, and I could hear her. I could even feel her hands, but they weren't hard and cold anymore. They felt normal, just like mine.

"You are silly, Bella, even as a vampire," she giggled. "This isn't a dream, don't you remember?" Her beautiful face took on a concerned look.

"A vampire? OH!" I sat up, all the details tumbling into my mind. Laurent _had_ bitten me; the pain I remembered was no dream.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Carlisle slowly walked in to the room.

"Hello, Bella. How do you feel?" _How did I feel?_ This was all so unbelievable, I wasn't sure how to answer.

"I feel….confused. How did you find me, what happened?" All the questions in my mind started flowing out of my mouth.

"Well, we're not exactly sure," he began, his brow furrowing with concern. "Alice saw you alone, and only knew you were becoming one of us. She didn't see how it happened. We were wondering that ourselves." He let out a faint laugh.

Suddenly, the truth hit me. I was a vampire, I was no longer human. I held my hands out, taking in my pale skin tone, so much paler than it had been. I could see the bluish lines of my veins clearly through my skin. I touched my face, the skin there was flawless. I looked around me, taking in all the colors and textures of the room. I could see every leaf of every tree through the glass wall. It was breathtaking.

"Jasper is here. He doesn't have to stay away. I'd like to see him." I said these words, it seemed without even thinking. Somehow I could sense that he was here. I knew that he wasn't sure how I would react to his presence.

"Wow," Alice looked at me curiously, taken back by my statement. "Jasper wanted to come up when we knew you were coming to, but he didn't know how you'd feel about seeing him after, well… last time."

"I told you I wasn't upset before, Alice, didn't I?"

"You did, Bella, but Jasper never really forgave himself, no matter what any of us said," she chuckled darkly. "He's coming up now," she said, with a small smile.

Sure enough, seconds later, Jasper walked through the door. His smile was tentative. "Hello, Bella." He nodded politely in my direction. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure yet, honestly. I suppose I feel relieved, that was…painful." The very recent memory made me shudder.

"Um, please don't be upset Bella, but, I'm dying to know…who did this to you?" Alice asked, succumbing to her vivid curiosity. Carlisle and Jasper both looked wary, but she ignored them.

"Laurent." I whispered

I heard a low growl from deep in Jasper's throat. Alice jumped up and stood beside him, taking his hand, but I could see that her little lips had slightly curled over her teeth. I recalled the story, as best as I could, telling them about what Laurent had said about Victoria. Then, I remembered the big wolves that had chased him off. Alice looked at Carlisle, and he nodded. This confused me. But, I could tell they didn't want to tell me about that just now.

"In my vast experience with newborn vampires, I've never seen anything quite like you, Bella," Jasper said as he looked at me, perplexed, shaking his head lightly. "We need to take you out, you need to hunt."

I wasn't exactly sure what he meant and I bit my lip as I tried to figure out what he could be saying. I had never met one, but from what I'd been told, it was hard to contain a newborn. They were consumed by their thirst for blood. I hadn't even thought about that part of my new life. I swallowed, and sure enough my throat felt very dry, but I felt completely in control. I guessed that was not the norm.

"Yes, we can continue this discussion later. You three should get going before the thirst becomes a problem," Carlisle was thoughtful, and I knew that he was surprised with my composure, as well. I wanted so much to know where the rest of the family was, one in particular. But, I pushed that aside, not wanting to be the cause of any trouble for them.

Alice and Jasper took the lead, running out the back door of the Cullen house, through the heavily wooded acreage and into the heart of the Olympic National Forest. What would have been a two-day hike for me, and more than likely would have necessitated a medical evacuation after breaking something through my clumsy nature, took less than 15 minutes to traverse. I marveled at how agile I had become, leaping over exposed tree roots and swiftly passing in between the trees as if I were completing the most simple of obstacle courses. I had never felt so stable, so sure of myself in movement. Each step I landed was strong and confident, though my mind did still seem to be a bit hesitant. I hadn't realized at first that I was warning myself internally. 'Watch out! Don't trip! Be careful!' I chuckled quietly. I could see that some of my old habits might be hard to break.

Both Alice and Jasper would occasionally look behind them, to be sure I was keeping up, and at least once I could see surprise on Jasper's face. I wasn't sure just what exactly had made that look cross his features. I'd have to remember to ask him later.

Quickly, more quickly than I expected, they came to a full stop. I half expected to find them panting, trying to catch their breath after such a fast and long run. But then I remembered whom I was watching. 'Silly Bella, vampires don't need to breathe!' I smiled softly to myself.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Alice looked at me perplexed by the expression on my face.

I started to laugh just a bit. "Yeah, Alice, I'm fine. Just remembering something." I looked around me, taking in the height of the trees, taller than I'd ever seen trees grow before, and the thickness of the dense foliage around our legs. "How far did we go?"

"About 30-35 miles. We're just to the south of Bogachiel Peak," Jasper replied quietly.

My mouth opened in a surprised "O" shape. "30 miles? Really? And I didn't trip once? Wow – no one would ever believe this."

Alice smiled at me. "Bella, you've known for a long time about our speed. Why are you surprised?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought it was something that would come with time. You know, like practice makes perfect? Is everything going to be just as natural? Everything I have to learn?" Once we started running, my body just seemed to know what to do, like it was preprogrammed to react perfectly. But would it always react so surely?

"For the most part, yes. Your instincts will govern your reactions and decisions until you are capable of controlling them better on your own. But it won't all be perfect from the first instance." Jasper, I could tell, was using his empathic abilities to keep me calm. He had been affecting my mood slightly since we left the house, probably to keep me from becoming too overwhelmed with what I was about to do. In the last few minutes, however, I could feel the serenity increase in intensity.

"Bella, are you ready?" Alice was calm, this was nothing new to her, and she gave me a small, supportive smile.

"I'm not sure. What if I find a mountain lion and its bites my hand off or something?" I'm sure that I would have felt a bit nauseated from the adrenaline that would have been coursing through my veins at the prospect of facing down a mountain lion 30 miles from civilization, but instead, I just felt trepidation and cowardice.

Alice and Jasper stood calmly and listened as I presented my hesitation to them on a silver platter, then slowly turned to one another and laughed. Not the reaction I had been expecting.

"Bella! You CAN do this! It's a part of who you are now! And honestly, if a mountain lion were to even try to bite your hand off, trust me, he'd be the one to sustain the damage, not you!" Alice's giggles were calming down, but the sparkle in her eyes was still shining brightly.

"Bella, what if you watch one of us hunt first, so you can see what will work to take the animal down quickly? It really is second nature."

Jasper's idea sounded great to me. As much as they both told me that instincts would win out over lack of knowledge, I was a visual learner at heart and needed to see what the most appropriate method to follow was. An added benefit would be that by observing the hunt in action, I wouldn't mess up and embarrass myself, or cause any undue pain and suffering to the poor creatures.

"If you don't mind?" I was honestly grateful to them both for being so understanding.

"Sure. Take a second, Bella. Can you sense anything?" Alice watched me expectantly.

I looked around the area slowly, trying to see the prey within the surrounding forest, and while everything was so much clearer than I had ever seen anything before, I couldn't see any animals in the close vicinity. I breathed in through my nose, and was overcome by so many scents – the wet earth, the trees, the flowers, and something I couldn't identify. I couldn't identify it, but my body knew it was something it desperately craved. Instantaneously, the venom in my mouth started to flow much faster than I ever thought it could. Now I understood what Edward meant when he said I was 'mouthwatering'.

I looked to Alice, eyes questioning just what it was my sense of smell had picked up on.

"Black tailed deer. There's a medium sized herd of them a few miles south of us. Follow, quietly." With that, we were off. Speeding through the forest to intersect with my first 'vegetarian' vampire meal.

A few moments later, we were at the edge of a clearing near Hoh Lake. At least a dozen beautiful deer were grazing, unaware of the danger that had crept so close to them. I admired their beauty for a single second. Tawny brown fur, strong muscular bodies, graceful beings that reminded me of the characters in a Disney movie I remember watching a lifetime ago.

"Stay here a moment and watch us carefully," Alice whispered. I nodded my head imperceptibly as they silently approached the herd, separating from one another to converge on it from alternating sides.

Once they had closed half the distance between where I stood and the edge of the lake, they leapt forward, so quickly the deer barely had time to react. I watched Alice as she landed in between to huge stags, almost larger than she was, reached her hands up to their necks, as if she were going to hug them, then wrenched her hands inward to snap their necks simultaneously. My eyes flew to Jasper, who had accomplished the same feat. At the disturbance, the rest of the deer fled from the attack, and were gone in a flash.

I couldn't wait any longer. The fire that burned in my throat was near impossible to ignore and in a microsecond, I was next to the carcasses of the deer. Without a moments' hesitation and without thought, I knelt on the wet ground, placed my hands on the strong, sinewy neck of the deer, and lowered my head. My mouth opened wide and my teeth pierced its thick skin. The rush of blood into my mouth was nirvana. Nothing in all my life had ever tasted as good as this. I could feel the heat of it warming my cool skin from the inside, the scent of it almost made me dizzy. I drained the animal, satiating the thirst for the moment. As if I had been in a trance, I sensed my mind returning to the present and took in the scene before me.

Alice and Jasper had each taken one of the deer, and one lay to the side, waiting.

"Bella? How do you feel?" Jasper inquired, the caring tone of his voice in sharp contrast with the heady rush I felt from the fresh flow of blood in my body.

"Fantastic! I … I can't describe it. I feel strong, I feel fulfilled, I feel …." My voice died off, unable to find the precise words that could adequately explain my feelings.

Both Alice and Jasper smiled at me.

"Think you can do that on your own next time?" Alice winked at me.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for showing me, though. I appreciate it." I couldn't honestly say whether or not I could take down my own prey the next time, but I didn't want to disappoint Alice. She looked so proud of me.

"No problem."

"Bella, there is one deer left, do you want it?"

"No, Jasper, I think I'm good. It's all yours."

Jasper angled his head and drank from the fourth stag. He finished quicker than I thought possible, then stood, brushing the small pieces of forest from his slacks.

"Okay, now we clean up."

I wrinkled my nose at what I'd done, but shook it off. Alice laughed at me when she saw my reaction. "Bella, Jasper was right, that was definitely a first. Your self-control is remarkable!" She put her arm around my waist as we picked up the remains of the deer to bury them in the forest, beneath the roots of the trees they showed me how to uproot and replace.

Once we returned the house, I realized I hadn't even given myself a chance to acknowledge how wonderful it felt to be here, my best friend at my side. "Alice, I'm so glad you're here. I don't know what I'd do without you," I whispered, not wanting to think about being alone in the woods.

"I never wanted to leave you, you have to know that Bella. We thought you would be better off if the vampires left town," she stated quietly. "We had no idea Laurent would be back. The last we had heard, he had formed a relationship with Irina in Denali. I didn't think I even needed to keep my mind on him, or Victoria…" her voice trailed off with the mention of that name.

"I know, Alice," and I did know she would never hurt me on purpose. She had left to be with Jasper. I did not hold it against her. "Where is the rest of the family?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too desperate.

"Well, before we came back to Forks, we were in upstate New York. Esme stayed behind to wait for Emmett and Rosalie to come back from Europe. They will be here in a few days." Alice, hesitated for a moment, and then continued. "Carlisle was finally able to get a hold of Edward; I think he'll be here tonight, maybe tomorrow."

"He wasn't in New York with you?" I was surprised to hear that Edward hadn't been with his family, it didn't make sense.

Alice frowned. "No, we haven't seen him in months. I guess he's been in South America, though he wouldn't answer my phone calls."

"Oh." I couldn't understand what he would be doing in South America, but figured he must have been "distracted".

"Bella, I think you could use a shower. I'll find something for you to change into, and you can use Edward's bathroom." Her eyes had gone blank for a moment, and I just stared at her until she snapped out of it, and looked me up and down, making a face. I followed her gaze and noticed for the first time that I was a hideous mess. I was still wearing the same outfit I had worn to the meadow, that I'd worn in the dirty, wet cave in the woods, through my transformation and now through my first hunt. I ran my hands through my hair and wasn't surprised to find it was matted and snarled.

"Ugh, I guess you're right, a shower sounds…really good." It would be nice to have some time to think. And, I needed to call Charlie to let him know that I was alright. _Charlie_. I couldn't call Charlie. The thought started a near panic in me. He must be crazy with worry. "Alice, what am I going to do about Charlie?" I sat down on the sofa, resting my forehead on my hand.

"I've thought of that already, Bella." Alice spoke softly. "During your transition, Charlie had a search party looking for you. We took the flannel shirt you were wearing, and left it on the trail near where your truck was parked. He thinks you were attacked by a bear. But, he hasn't given up hope, yet. We'll have to figure that out soon, if they don't close the investigation and we'll have to leave Washington soon."

I knew she was right. There was no way we could stay. Feeling as though my heart would break, I headed to the bathroom without another word. Charlie would be alone. Even though he had been alone for 17 years before I moved back to Forks, this would be different. And, there was absolutely nothing I could do.

Alice left me to my thoughts, and I was glad for that. The shower washed all the dirt and grime away, and I felt a little better as I stepped out into Edward's bathroom. She had said he would be here soon. Was he feeling guilty? Of course, this wasn't his fault, but it would be just like Edward to try to take the blame. All the emotions I'd had in the past several hours finally settled into nervousness. How would it be to see him again? I couldn't help but be anxious; I had thought I would never have the chance to see his beautiful face again. What would be his reaction to me, like this? I could see I was different, the evidence in my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were a disturbing crimson; my cheekbones were higher and slightly more angular. But, I was still me. I doubted I could be any more interesting than before.

I found the clothes Alice had laid out for me, and dressed slowly. When I had pulled the last of the tangles out of my hair, I decided to blow it dry, rather than pull it back into my standard simple ponytail. I noticed the contrast of my dark hair to my milky-white skin. It was actually kind of nice.

Once again, there was a light knock on the door to the bedroom. "Come in," I answered. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened then. As the door opened, I gasped. _**Edward**_. He looked even more perfect than my best memory.

"Bella…" he whispered, as he walked into the room. The pain on his face made me wince, and it was exactly as I expected. He felt responsible.

I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to run to him.

"Hey," I blurted out in barely a whisper. I could have kicked myself, could I be any more pathetic? I stared at him, taking in the details of his face as he slowly walked toward me. He seemed almost…afraid. Did he think I was going to attack him? I chuckled to myself.

"I came as quickly as I could," he was shaking his head as he stopped just inches in front of me. His closeness was almost unbearable. As he spoke, he closed his eyes. "I'm so…so very sorry, Bella."

"Oh, Edward, this isn't YOUR fault!" I looked down at the floor as I spoke, trying to figure out a way to clear his conscience. "I knew you'd feel that way, though."

He was staring directly at me now. I looked up and became lost in his eyes. Even though I knew he didn't love me the way he used to, in that moment, I couldn't help but feel like he still cared. He slowly reached up and brushed his fingers against my cheek. I lost it then, and threw my arms around his waist. Tears didn't come, but all the emotions that had been swirling around in my head came forth again, and the sobs rocked through my body. I buried my face in his chest as he grabbed me tightly and held me close. "Shh, it's ok, Bella, it's ok."

Edward held me like that for a long while, and I didn't want to let him go. He let out a soft laugh once I calmed down. "There, better?" He smiled as he pulled back to look at my face again. I nodded, and looked away. I felt a little silly for reacting this way, after all the time we'd been apart.

"So, umm, how have you been?" The words came out too fast, not in the nonchalant manner I had hoped for. But, I didn't want him to leave, and I needed to keep him talking.

He took my hand and walked me over to the sofa. "Shall we?" He gestured down with his hand. It was almost as if he could read my mind, I supposed my face was giving away my anxiety at the thought of him leaving.

I smiled shyly, and nodded. "Yes, thank you." He sat down next to me, still holding my hand. Despite everything that was happening, it felt right, even if he was just here because he felt responsible.

"There is something I need you to know." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I had no idea that he would return. I didn't even consider it a possibility. I thought you would be safe, well, saf_er _if we were not a part of your life. I only wanted to protect you, to protect your soul, and… I've failed you." He hesitated for a moment. "Can you forgive me?" His face was so sincere, it broke my heart.

"Of course I forgive you, but there is really nothing to forgive." I shrugged my shoulders slightly. "Alice already told me everything, anyway."

He eyed me curiously. "Did she?" He seemed surprised.

"Mmm hmm, she told me that you all thought I would be better off without the vampires. Sort of ironic don't you think?" I tried to laugh it off; I couldn't let him see how deeply it hurt that they all thought I'd be better off. I thought they knew me better than that.

"Bella?" His voice was so low, I barely heard him. "I never could have left you if I didn't think you would be able to live the normal, human life you deserved. I could see that it wouldn't be possible with us in your life. We were constantly putting you in danger; just being around us was a risk."

"Edward, it's ok, really. You have to stop feeling guilty for things that are in the past. Can we just try to move forward, try to be friends?" I choked on the last word, knowing it would be next to impossible for me, but hoping to at least have him in my life. I didn't know if he'd be staying, but I didn't want it to be uncomfortable between us.

"Friends…" He looked up at me through his long lashes. While he spoke, he squeezed the hand he was still holding, his eyes full of an emotion I couldn't quite place. I shook my head to clear my mind.

"Good, I think I better go speak to Carlisle to make plans, he mentioned wanting to leave for Alaska soon. Will you be coming?" I had to bring myself back to reality, and I was setting myself up for hurt staying here with Edward. I understood he wanted to help me, but if I didn't put some space between us, I was going to do something really stupid.

"Of course," he flashed the crooked smile that I had been missing all these months, and I jumped up and headed downstairs.

All of the others were in the living room when we came down. Alice and Jasper were watching television, and Carlisle was on the phone. Alice looked at us expectantly, which was strange. Jasper laughed at her, and she rolled her eyes at him. I wondered if I missed a private joke.

"Do you feel better now Bella?" Alice asked.

"Yes, thank you, much better." I replied.

Carlisle was off the phone now, and he smiled at us. "That was Esme. She just picked Rose and Emmett up from the airport. They will be bringing the cars to Denali. I told her we'd probably be leaving tonight. Does that sound ok to you, Bella?"

"Sure, that will be fine." I looked at all their faces, so filled with concern for me. I had to fight back all the mushy thoughts that were on the tip of my tongue, as well as the lump in my throat from the knowledge that I would never be able to go home to Charlie again.

"They should meet us at the cabin by Friday. It will be nice to have everyone back together." Family was important to Carlisle, and it made me glad to be part of this family again.

"Bella, while the boys pack up the car, I was thinking we could get on the computer, since you'll need to add a few things to your wardrobe." Alice was already thinking about dressing me up. "I'd rather go out shopping, but I don't want to test your awe-inspiring self control quite yet." She winked at me and signaled me to follow her to the computer in her room.

"HELP!" I teased as she dragged me by the hand up the stairs. Jasper shook his head and laughed, and the others joined in.

As I expected, I didn't really have much of a choice when it came to my new wardrobe. Alice had a way of asking me what I wanted, but ignoring me when I voiced my opinion.

"Bella, do you have anything you want to talk about?" Alice asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm okay, Alice. You know I'd tell you otherwise." I meant what I said, this was what I had always dreamed of. Edward once teased me that I dreamed of being a monster. This wasn't exactly the way I hoped for, and I wished that I had gotten to say goodbye to Charlie and Renée. But, I had to follow my own advice, and not feel guilty about the past.

"I hope so. You just seem to be taking this all…too well. I keep waiting for you to lose it, I guess." She smiled weakly at me. "Did your talk with Edward go well?"

"Sure. I'm not angry. I understand why you all left. He feels like it's his fault of course. But, I think we should be able to be… friends." The last part was only partially untrue. I could pretend to be his friend, even if it would never be enough. I couldn't make the family uncomfortable, and I certainly couldn't be alone.

"Huh… well, that's… good, I guess." Alice looked like she was confused at what I'd said. She had to know that I still loved him, and everyone knew that he didn't love me in _that_ way anymore.

We finished our mission on the computer, and headed back downstairs.

"Looks like you survived," Edward chuckled, mussing my hair. Such a simple gesture, yet it still sent shivers down my spine. I hoped he didn't notice, but he laughed again, which made me think he did.

"Well, I think we're all set here. We should be getting ready to head out." Carlisle gestured toward the front door.

We all walked out, and suddenly I realized we'd have to divide into groups. Driving for several hours with Edward, though tempting, was not a good idea, and I had to think fast. "Alice, are we taking the Mercedes?" I hoped I was being subtle and effective.

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**Be sure to leave us a review! We appreciate your comments more than you know! Hope you enjoyed Edward's return! **

TE & IMC


	5. Chapter 5 Goodbye

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**AN: We hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as we do! When we were planning this story out, tossing ideas around, this one broke through, and the minute it popped into the author's head, she knew it wouldn't leave her till it was down on paper. The chapter is a little shorter than its predecessor, but hopefully the quality is more important than the quantity. **

Thank you to all who have taken the time to leave us a review! We're having fun reading where you think the story is going, who you want to see appear, what you think might happen next. You never know ... a few of you might be on the right track! ;)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. IsabellaMCullen & TotalEclipse own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;) And their cars .. I mean, come on, Carlisle's Mercedes? Who wouldn't want to ride around town in that beauty all the time?

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**_Chapter 5: Goodbye_ **

EPOV

Jasper, Alice and Bella walked together to Carlisle's Mercedes. Jasper turned and nodded to us before climbing into the driver's seat. Alice and Bella proceeded to the passenger side of the vehicle. They each opened their doors, Alice in front, Bella in back. Alice waved before she took her seat, shutting the door after her. The engine started. Bella was still standing by the door, watching Carlisle and me. I tried to read the expression in her beautiful eyes. I wanted to go to her, but this was her decision, and I would respect that. I raised my hand, giving her a small wave, but that seemed so insignificant. I desperately wanted to blow her a kiss, but our recent conversation clearly stated that would not be a good idea. I did the only thing I could do. Still watching her intently, I winked at her, and gave her the crooked smile of mine that she always adored. She smiled softly in return, closing her eyes as her head dipped down slightly. I could almost see the blush in her cheeks. She looked up at us once more, before turning herself to slide down into the car. The door closed, and Jasper pulled out of the long driveway.

I watched the car meander down the long decorative brick path, until it turned left onto the main road towards the highway. Then I listened to the engine, the automatic transmission changing gears as Jasper depressed the gas pedal and the car accelerated down the road. I remained on the porch, even after I couldn't hear it anymore. Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed slightly. He wanted me to come inside the house. I shook my head slightly side to side. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

'_She'll be okay, Edward. Everything will be okay. Just be patient.'_ He left me then.

I knew Bella would be safe with Alice and Jasper. They wouldn't let anything happen to her, nor would they let her do anything that she could regret later.

I have never been more grateful for my sister's gift until now. Just the idea that Bella could be alone out there right now - a newborn vampire without someone to guide her, to help her, to support her. It pained me to even imagine it. I closed my eyes to try to banish the thoughts from my mind, and instead focused on her face. The transformation into one of our kind only enhanced what I felt was the most beautiful face in all of eternity. I traced the contours of her jaw in my mind, imagined my fingers caressing her cheek, and longed to know the feel of her lips on mine.

I could feel the dull ache that signified the large place in my heart that belonged to her, the ache that was created the day that I left her behind. But along with that I also felt hope renewed. We had been given another chance, and this time I vowed to not make the same mistakes again. Being away from her had given me the opportunity to review our time together and all of the mistakes that I had made. So many mistakes born of good intentions, but poor execution. I knew, deep down, that if she could forgive me, if she would give me another chance to prove to her how completely and totally in love with her I was, I would promise her eternity, and nothing would ever entice me to break that vow.

'_Edward, we should prepare to leave soon.' _

Bella had been through so much in such a short time, and I realized now that many of the situations I put her in to keep her safe had in fact been much more dangerous than they originally appeared. I had so much to atone for.

This was what she had wanted; we had discussed it often enough. She desired to be with me forever, to become one of us, immortal. I hadn't wanted this life for her. I wanted her to live out a normal human life, though selfishly I did desire to keep her with me, to be bound to her for all eternity.

And now we are both here, though at an awesome price. Her eyes are still the windows of her emotions, and I could see all of them in the short time we were together this evening: hurt and betrayal at my leaving, grief over the pain that Charlie will endure, confusion and anxiety in dealing with the changes in her life.

I thought of Charlie and how he would handle the loss of his only daughter. Charlie loved Bella more than he knew how to verbalize. I had heard his internal monologues enough to be certain of that He was a very quiet man, but having Bella living with him in Forks had awoken a part of him that had long lied dormant. He would miss her so much, and I couldn't help but wonder if he would find comfort and solace from the few happy memories they had created in the short year and a half she had resided here. There were many difficult memories, Bella's disappearance and subsequent hospital stay in Phoenix being the ultimate, but there had been happy times, too.

An idea came to me. One that would have to be acted on immediately. I turned around and ran into the house, straight to Carlisle's office and pushed open the door. Carlisle looked up with mild surprise evident on his features.

"I can't leave yet. There's something I have to do first." I felt I was going to jump out of my skin. Once the idea came to me, I knew I had to act fast, and I was anxious to begin.

"Edward? What is it? Are you all right?" Carlisle looked genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine. I have to take care of something, for Bella. I won't be long. Wait for me?"

"Of course. But be careful, Edward. We can't afford to be seen."

"I know, Carlisle. I'll be quick. Thank you."

Carlisle looked mildly confused, but confident that I would return shortly. Surprising, I thought. I assumed he would want to accompany me, to make sure that I didn't run again. But maybe he knew, as I did, that I would never leave her again, not unless she told me to. I wouldn't make the same mistakes again.

I ran the familiar route from our home on the outskirts of Olympic National Park to Charlie's house in Forks. The air around me was cool and damp and I could feel the next storm front rolling in. I would have to hurry. I didn't want to get caught in the forecasted torrential downpours on the way back.

I reached the familiar house and for one split second, I thought Charlie was awake, even though it was nearly four in the morning. It took me a moment to realize that it was the television I had overheard. I was thankful that he was asleep. I could tell he wasn't sleeping peacefully, not that I expected him to be. His thoughts weren't cohesive, instead scattered and disjointed, flashes of memories, but without rhyme or reason. I hated to admit it, but this was easier for me. I was sure that Charlie was agonizing the loss of his beloved daughter, but I didn't want to hear exactly how torn up inside he was. Over the years, I had heard the thoughts of grieving individuals so many times. I had heard their sorrow and pain, anger and frustration, dreams that had died and promises unfulfilled. It was easy to dismiss those thoughts, as they had no bearing on my life. Charlie's pain, however, would be different. Charlie's pain would cut me to the very core of my being.

I climbed up the side of the house and paused at the threshold of Bella's room, realizing that it would be the last time I would ever enter this room again. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed in the scent of her. The soft mixture of freesia and lilac permeated the room and flooded my senses. A part of me wished I could stay in this moment forever, but the other part reminded me why I was there and urged me forward, over the window sill and softly into the middle of the room. I opened my eyes to look around, a feeling of familiar comfort enveloping me as I noticed that the room hadn't changed in my absence. The rocking chair was in the corner where it always had been, the handmade quilt from her grandmother lay at the end of her bed. I reached a hand over and lightly caressed its soft fibers, knowing how Bella treasured it, and knowing that she would never feel its comforting embrace again.

I then opened the door to her closet and was again assailed by her sweet bouquet. I had been enraptured by it from the first moment I had experienced it, and became a bit saddened at the knowledge that her scent, which would always be present, would never again be as powerful as it was in this second. I looked up, and on the top shelf was the item I had known would be there. I reached up and pulled it down to me, careful not to disturb any of the other items that surrounded it, lest they fall and awaken Charlie. I sat one last time on her bed, opened the simple midnight blue box adorned with celestial images, and lightly touched the few items that were inside.

Bella had shared the contents of this box with me on the night of our prom. I recalled the flush in her cheeks and the shy look in her eyes as she contemplated whether or not to explain it to me. She had been embarrassed, and I had promised her I wouldn't laugh. She lifted the lid of the box and took out its contents one by one, till she held the item she desired. A small photo album was the largest and dearest of the items stored in this simple makeshift treasure chest. The album contained photos of Bella's childhood: Renée, Charlie and Bella in the hospital when she was born; an infant Bella and her father, both sleeping on the couch in the living room; Bella at about 3 years of age, feeding a zebra at a zoo; her first day of school, her hair in adorable pigtails; and more. Also in the small album was a single pressed, dried pink rose. She told me the story, of when Renée had taken her to dinner at a nice Phoenix restaurant on her 10th birthday and presented her with the rose. 'You're into double digits, hon. Have to mark the occasion!' Bella told me how she had gone home that night and pressed the flower in the album, where it has remained ever since. With a nostalgic smile on her face, I watched as she removed the sprig of freesia I had affixed to her hair earlier that evening and placed it meticulously between two pages of the album.

'_I know I gave you a hard time about tonight, Edward.' _Her voice had been so soft, I was sure that I wouldn't have heard it if I were human. _'And I'm sorry. I want you to know that I had an amazing time. Dancing in your arms is something I will never forget. For a while, I forgot all about the cast on my leg, and how hard I was trying not to trip or fall. For a while, it felt like we were the only people there. And I'm really glad we went, even if it was a silly human ritual. I hope you never forget how much I truly love you.'_ She had been looking down at the album in her hands through her short speech. I had reached over to her, placing one finger softly on the bottom of her chin, and had gently lifted her face to be level with mine. She had tears in her eyes, and she was fighting to keep them from falling. I caressed her cheek with my hand and guided her face towards mine. She leaned forward and I placed a soft, sensual kiss on her lips.

I shook my head, breaking myself out of my reverie, and proceeded with the task at hand. I closed the box and placed it softly on her desk. I then walked across the room to her dresser, where I located a few of her treasured books: _Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, _and _Jane Eyre_. I wavered on whether to also grab _Wuthering Heights_, not being a fan of the characters, but felt that she would like to have it. I placed the four books next to the box. I returned to her dresser, to her jewelry box. Bella wasn't one for wearing jewelry, but I knew that the jewelry box held a ring and a bracelet that had belonged to her grandmother. I took those as well.

I then looked around her room, wondering if there was anything else she would have wanted to take with her if she had been given the chance. I didn't want to make it obvious and take so much that it would raise suspicions, but I also didn't want to rush and omit some possession that she would truly have wanted to keep. After a moment's deliberation, I returned to her closet, and removed her favorite blue sweater, as well as a red blouse, and added those to the little pile of items.

Lastly, I kneeled down on the floor and lifted the loose floorboard near her bed. It was in this small unknown location that I had hid the belongings I had taken from her months ago – her photos, the plane tickets that would never be used, and the CD I had made for her. I removed them all, replaced the floorboard, and sat for a moment. With the CD and plane tickets in my lap, I lifted the envelope containing the photos, looking for one in particular. Flipping through quickly, I found it.

The image had been taken on Bella's 18th birthday. She had been taking photos around the house with her new camera, stating that she wanted to share them with Renée. What I held in my hand, the one I had been searching for, is the one photo that I took, at her request. Charlie was seated on the couch, looking slightly amused that Bella had been taking photos of him, but I knew he had been enjoying the attention from her far more than he let on. Bella had knelt next to the sofa, and had angled her head in towards her father. I had told her to smile, and took the picture. Glancing at it now, I could see the look in her eyes that only I would notice – the look that said she knew something had been wrong between us, but I was certain no one else would see it.

I then grabbed her scrapbook off of her computer table, and flipped through the pages quickly. On the fourth page, I found the identical photo. Feeling relieved, I removed the photo from the page it was mounted on, and returned the book to its former location. I placed one copy of the photo with the others in the pile of belongings, the duplicate I held in my hand. I had to do this right.

This thought had been running through my mind for the last hour, and I hoped it would have the desired effect. On her desk, I located a red marker, flipped the photo over to the back side, and in my best imitation of Bella's handwriting, I wrote:

_**Me & Dad, Sept 13th**_

_**I love you, dad. Thank you.**_

I recapped the marker, placed it back on the desk, and quietly exited Bella's room. I stealthily crept to the first floor of the house, passing the kitchen and the tiny entranceway, and entered the living room. The living room was very small, but also very comfortable and relaxed. Charlie spent a great deal of time in this room, and I hoped that would work in my favor. I walked around the couch, and stepped up to the fireplace mantel on the far wall.

The photos on the mantel had always made Bella cringe a little. Various school photos, another of her in a ballet tutu from the one year she had taken dance lessons in Phoenix, even Charlie and Renée's wedding photo was there, albeit hidden behind the others. No one looking at the collection could have ever doubted Charlie's pride and devotion to his daughter.

I looked once more at the photo in my hand. How long would it take him to notice it here? Would it make him feel better? Or make him feel worse? I had no way of knowing, and I fervently hoped it would be the former rather than the latter.

I wanted him to see the photo first thing in the morning, to be able to pick it up, read the back and believe that he had a guardian angel; that Bella was in heaven and would be looking out for him always. I had originally contemplated leaving the photo on the bare kitchen table, but in retrospect, decided against that possibility. I didn't want the photo placement to look staged, nor did I want Charlie to think he was going insane. Placing the photo on the mantel made more sense. It would be nestled in with the rest of her celluloid history, and I had to hope that he would find it quickly and would receive the solace that I had intended.

Charlie would notice it eventually. I knew that Bella wouldn't be able to say goodbye to her father, but maybe this will help both of them. I hoped that when he found the photo, he would take it as a message, that Bella loved him dearly, and if he was open minded enough, that she had somehow sent this message to him herself. I hoped that, in some way, this would help him in healing from her loss.

I returned to Bella's room, placed the books, clothing, jewelry, photos, tickets and CD into her 'treasure chest', and took one last look before turning and leaving through her window, being sure to close it behind me.

I climbed down the side of the house, tucked the box under my left arm and started to run across the side lawn. The night was extremely still and very dark, still locked in the early morning hours when the world remains asleep and unaware of what lurks in the shadows. I had almost reached the tree line dividing Bella's backyard from the heavily wooded area behind it when a familiar sound reached my ears, stopping me mid-stride and sending a shiver down my back. The low, feral growl of something I hadn't heard in over 70 years.

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**_AN: A link to the photo of the box described can be found in my profile._**


	6. Chapter 4 Reunion addition

**_Chapter 4 - Reunion - Additional Scene_**

**AN: After some tweaking, it was decided that our description of Bella's first hunt needed to be expanded upon. It was written as a quick note originally to give us time to work on it and make it perfect! (At least, we think it is!) **

**That said - this scene has been added to chapter four as of May 13, 2008. IF you read Chapter Four BEFORE 5/13/08, then this is new to you & we hope you like it. If you read Chapter Four AFTER 5/13/08, then this is a repeat and you can skip it! :) Thanks! TE & IMC**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to SM, we just like to take them out to play a couple times a week.**

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"Yes, we can continue this discussion later. You three should get going before the thirst becomes a problem," Carlisle was thoughtful, and I knew that he was surprised with my composure, as well. I wanted so much to know where the rest of the family was, one in particular. But, I pushed that aside, not wanting to be the cause of any trouble for them.

Alice and Jasper took the lead, running out the back door of the Cullen house, through the heavily wooded acreage and into the heart of the Olympic National Forest. What would have been a two-day hike for me, and more than likely would have necessitated a medical evacuation after breaking something through my clumsy nature, took less than 15 minutes to traverse. I marveled at how agile I had become, leaping over exposed tree roots and swiftly passing in between the trees as if I were completing the most simple of obstacle courses. I had never felt so stable, so sure of myself in movement. Each step I landed was strong and confident, though my mind did still seem to be a bit hesitant. I hadn't realized at first that I was warning myself internally. 'Watch out! Don't trip! Be careful!' I chuckled quietly. I could see that some of my old habits might be hard to break.

Both Alice and Jasper would occasionally look behind them, to be sure I was keeping up, and at least once I could see surprise on Jasper's face. I wasn't sure just what exactly had made that look cross his features. I'd have to remember to ask him later.

Quickly, more quickly than I expected, they came to a full stop. I half expected to find them panting, trying to catch their breath after such a fast and long run. But then I remembered whom I was watching. 'Silly Bella, vampires don't need to breathe!' I smiled softly to myself.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Alice looked at me perplexed by the expression on my face.

I started to laugh just a bit. "Yeah, Alice, I'm fine. Just remembering something." I looked around me, taking in the height of the trees, taller than I'd ever seen trees grow before, and the thickness of the dense foliage around our legs. "How far did we go?"

"About 30-35 miles. We're just to the south of Bogachiel Peak," Jasper replied quietly.

My mouth opened in a surprised "O" shape. "30 miles? Really? And I didn't trip once? Wow – no one would ever believe this."

Alice smiled at me. "Bella, you've known for a long time about our speed. Why are you surprised?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought it was something that would come with time. You know, like practice makes perfect? Is everything going to be just as natural? Everything I have to learn?" Once we started running, my body just seemed to know what to do, like it was preprogrammed to react perfectly. But would it always react so surely?

"For the most part, yes. Your instincts will govern your reactions and decisions until you are capable of controlling them better on your own. But it won't all be perfect from the first instance." Jasper, I could tell, was using his empathic abilities to keep me calm. He had been affecting my mood slightly since we left the house, probably to keep me from becoming too overwhelmed with what I was about to do. In the last few minutes, however, I could feel the serenity increase in intensity.

"Bella, are you ready?" Alice was calm, this was nothing new to her, and she gave me a small, supportive smile.

"I'm not sure. What if I find a mountain lion and its bites my hand off or something?" I'm sure that I would have felt a bit nauseated from the adrenaline that would have been coursing through my veins at the prospect of facing down a mountain lion 30 miles from civilization, but instead, I just felt trepidation and cowardice.

Alice and Jasper stood calmly and listened as I presented my hesitation to them on a silver platter, then slowly turned to one another and laughed. Not the reaction I had been expecting.

"Bella! You CAN do this! It's a part of who you are now! And honestly, if a mountain lion were to even try to bite your hand off, trust me, he'd be the one to sustain the damage, not you!" Alice's giggles were calming down, but the sparkle in her eyes was still shining brightly.

"Bella, what if you watch one of us hunt first, so you can see what will work to take the animal down quickly? It really is second nature."

Jasper's idea sounded great to me. As much as they both told me that instincts would win out over lack of knowledge, I was a visual learner at heart and needed to see what the most appropriate method to follow was. An added benefit would be that by observing the hunt in action, I wouldn't mess up and embarrass myself, or cause any undue pain and suffering to the poor creatures.

"If you don't mind?" I was honestly grateful to them both for being so understanding.

"Sure. Take a second, Bella. Can you sense anything?" Alice watched me expectantly.

I looked around the area slowly, trying to see the prey within the surrounding forest, and while everything was so much clearer than I had ever seen anything before, I couldn't see any animals in the close vicinity. I breathed in through my nose, and was overcome by so many scents – the wet earth, the trees, the flowers, and something I couldn't identify. I couldn't identify it, but my body knew it was something it desperately craved. Instantaneously, the venom in my mouth started to flow much faster than I ever thought it could. Now I understood what Edward meant when he said I was 'mouthwatering'.

I looked to Alice, eyes questioning just what it was my sense of smell had picked up on.

"Black tailed deer. There's a medium sized herd of them a few miles south of us. Follow, quietly." With that, we were off. Speeding through the forest to intersect with my first 'vegetarian' vampire meal.

A few moments later, we were at the edge of a clearing near Hoh Lake. At least a dozen beautiful deer were grazing, unaware of the danger that had crept so close to them. I admired their beauty for a single second. Tawny brown fur, strong muscular bodies, graceful beings that reminded me of the characters in a Disney movie I remember watching a lifetime ago.

"Stay here a moment and watch us carefully," Alice whispered. I nodded my head imperceptibly as they silently approached the herd, separating from one another to converge on it from alternating sides.

Once they had closed half the distance between where I stood and the edge of the lake, they leapt forward, so quickly the deer barely had time to react. I watched Alice as she landed in between to huge stags, almost larger than she was, reached her hands up to their necks, as if she were going to hug them, then wrenched her hands inward to snap their necks simultaneously. My eyes flew to Jasper, who had accomplished the same feat. At the disturbance, the rest of the deer fled from the attack, and were gone in a flash.

I couldn't wait any longer. The fire that burned in my throat was near impossible to ignore and in a microsecond, I was next to the carcasses of the deer. Without a moments' hesitation and without thought, I knelt on the wet ground, placed my hands on the strong, sinewy neck of the deer, and lowered my head. My mouth opened wide and my teeth pierced its thick skin. The rush of blood into my mouth was nirvana. Nothing in all my life had ever tasted as good as this. I could feel the heat of it warming my cool skin from the inside, the scent of it almost made me dizzy. I drained the animal, satiating the thirst for the moment. As if I had been in a trance, I sensed my mind returning to the present and took in the scene before me.

Alice and Jasper had each taken one of the deer, and one lay to the side, waiting.

"Bella? How do you feel?" Jasper inquired, the caring tone of his voice in sharp contrast with the heady rush I felt from the fresh flow of blood in my body.

"Fantastic! I … I can't describe it. I feel strong, I feel fulfilled, I feel …." My voice died off, unable to find the precise words that could adequately explain my feelings.

Both Alice and Jasper smiled at me.

"Think you can do that on your own next time?" Alice winked at me.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for showing me, though. I appreciate it." I couldn't honestly say whether or not I could take down my own prey the next time, but I didn't want to disappoint Alice. She looked so proud of me.

"No problem."

"Bella, there is one deer left, do you want it?"

"No, Jasper, I think I'm good. It's all yours."

Jasper angled his head and drank from the fourth stag. He finished quicker than I thought possible, then stood, brushing the small pieces of forest from his slacks.

"Okay, now we clean up."

I wrinkled my nose at what I'd done, but shook it off. Alice laughed at me when she saw my reaction. "Bella, Jasper was right, that was definitely a first. Your self-control is remarkable!" She put her arm around my waist as we picked up the remains of the deer to bury them in the forest, beneath the roots of the trees they showed me how to uproot and replace.


	7. Chapter 6 Instinct

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* * *

**_Chapter 6 -- Instinct_**

BPOV

"We will be there in about twenty minutes, Bella. Bella?"

My eyes snapped open, pulling me out of my reverie. Alice was turned around in her seat, an amused look on her face.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, ok. Sorry, I guess I was daydreaming."

A powerful sense of déjà vu had settled over me as I relaxed myself into the back seat of the Mercedes in Forks in preparation for the long, quiet drive to Denali. It was in this same luxurious vehicle that I had traveled almost a year ago to Scottsdale Arizona, just outside of Phoenix, in an effort to evade James, the evil vampire intent on hunting me and claiming me for his prize. Jasper and Alice had accompanied me on that trip as well. Sixteen hundred miles of interstate highways and freeways had taken ¾ of a day to travel; a 26 plus hour trip for a normal human driver. There were definitely advantages to driving with beings who didn't feel the need to stop and stretch every few hours, or have to take human bathroom or food breaks.

The journey we had embarked upon today was familiar in some ways, but also entirely new. From Forks we had proceeded to Port Angeles, normally a one-hour drive that took Jasper all of about 20 minutes to navigate. Then we boarded the M.V. Coho, a vehicle and passenger ferryboat that traversed the distance between Port Angeles, Washington and Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. After proceeding off the ferry, the drive was a long 2600 miles to Talkeetna, Alaska, the tiny historic village at the base of Mt. McKinley and the entrance to the Denali National Park and Preserve. 2600 miles, some of which were well maintained highways and freeways; and some of which seemed to be no more than a winding mountain pass.

I glanced out the window, my jaw dropping as I took in the scenery. The sun was rising just above the snowy peaks of the range nearby. Shades of pink and orange melted together over the horizon, contrasting sharply against the gray and white of the mountains. It was one of the most breathtaking sights I had ever beheld with my own eyes. I hadn't realized just how accustomed I had become to the murky green hues of Forks. The base of the mountain range was still in shadow where it met with the forest of beautiful trees and lush green grass below.

I'd had the chance to think about my life on the drive, both past and present. I thought about how much I would miss my parents and how much I would miss Jacob and my friends from school. I wondered if they were still looking for me. But, as pressing as these thoughts were, I kept going back to the recent conversation with Edward, the look in his eyes as he apologized. I had told him he was forgiven, and that I wanted to be friends. He seemed upset when I said the word "friends". Would it be uncomfortable for him to be friends with someone who was obviously still in love with him? I was sure my face had given away every emotion; it had always been like an open book. I would have to try harder to keep my cool if I was to be spending time near him. Surely I could do that. I felt the familiar pain in my chest each time I thought of being only his friend. But, at least that would be better than nothing.

We had pulled off of the main road and onto a dirt road that seemed like it would lead to nowhere. There were no houses in sight. After several miles of trees, I noticed a clearing ahead. In the middle of the clearing stood the most glorious log home I'd ever seen. This was no cabin in the woods. There was a giant stone foundation, and the home was built of large honey-colored logs. A handful of stone chimneys rose from the high-pitched roof. What looked like a Great Room protruded from the front of the house with several over-sized windows and if I wasn't mistaken, the second floor of the home was graced with cathedral ceilings. There were two wings set off from the main part of the house, each angled toward the back. I imagined the floor plan would resemble half of a hexagon. I surmised that the bedrooms must be in the two side wings. In addition to the windows along the two wings, the home was adorned with a few small balconies.

Jasper drove past the side of the house, around the side and parked out back in front of a large four-car garage. We stepped out of the car and I stood dumbfounded by the beauty of our new hideout.

"Come on Bella, let's get our things inside, I think you'll need to hunt again." Alice tugged on my sleeve, snickering at my gawking. "Do you like it?" Was she kidding?

I had known for some time that the Cullen family was extremely well off financially, but occasionally, when faced with something as grandiose as this, it still left me a bit bewildered. I shook my head slightly, and collected myself.

"So, what's for breakfast?" I laughed without humor. I felt the burn in my throat, so I knew she was right, but I didn't relish the idea of the hunt the way the others seemed to.

Jasper laughed. "Well, the Alaskan wilderness offers a nice variety, Bella."

"Are you in the mood for grizzly, or perhaps something milder such as mountain goat?" Alice smiled at me, laughing along with Jasper.

"Oh, boy. How do I choose?" The choices sounded equally dreadful. Once again, I was a freak among my own kind. I guessed my expression was funny, as they were laughing uncontrollably.

Inside, the house was even more spectacular. The high ceilings and large windows gave a light, open feeling to the living area. To the right of the foyer was a large, winding staircase leading up to a loft and the rest of the second floor. I could see the dining room and kitchen diagonally off to the left, a hallway in front of me and a huge living room to my right. Most of the home seemed to have been designed with an open floor plan, but I also knew that I couldn't see everything from where I stood.

I slowly turned my head, from the right to the left again, taking in all the beautiful details and nuances of my new home. When I was facing all the way to the left, I noticed it. A beautiful baby grand piano. I slowly walked toward it, as if drawn by some unseen thread and I ran my fingers lightly along the keys, thinking of whom it belonged to. The sweet melody of my lullaby drifted through my mind. I sighed as I turned to go find Alice. Jasper stood in the doorway across from me, leaning casually against the wooden frame.

"Hey, Jasper. This place is fantastic. I was just about to look for Alice. I don't know if I could find my way to my bedroom." I laughed lightly, hoping he hadn't seen me fiddling with Edward's piano. But, I could tell by his expression that he saw everything. And, of course he felt everything, too.

"Of course, she's up in our room." He motioned for me to follow him. Suddenly, he stopped and turned to face me. "I'm really glad you're here, Bella." Jasper was not one to openly start a conversation, so I was surprised by this change in his demeanor. "We're hoping you'll stay with us. We all are." He said this rather pointedly. I knew what he was trying to say. He could sense that I was worried about being around Edward.

"Thank you, I'm glad to be here. You've all made me feel really welcome." I paused for a minute, wondering if I should continue. "I just worry that my being here will upset Edward, not that he'd ever admit it."

"I know what you're feeling, Bella…you know that." He chuckled lightly. "Edward was trying to do the right thing when he left. Even if it is hard to believe, his intentions were honorable. When I ….lost control last year, it changed the way he looked at things. I'm sorry for that. Believe me when I say he is happy to have you back in his life."

I smiled at Jasper, I'd always enjoyed talking to him, the few times that we had the opportunity to converse, but it was usually from a distance when I was still human. "I hope you're right."

Alice walked down the stairs then, and announced it was time to head out to hunt. "After you hunt, we'll get you settled in your room."

We ran through the trees, and I couldn't help but feel exhilarated by the sights and smells around us. Everything was so much more defined, like I was seeing the world through new eyes. Alice stopped ahead of me, and Jasper and I came to stand by her sides.

"OK, Bella. Today I want you to learn to take advantage of your heightened senses. We have all the weapons we need to easily take down any animal we choose. But, first you need to learn to use them." Alice smiled brightly, encouraging me.

"OK…" I began, "I wouldn't protest if you wanted to do the 'taking down' though." The thought of killing something other than a fish or an ant still didn't sit well with me.

"No, you need to learn that part, too. Right now, you're over-thinking it. There was a time that taking another life was hard to imagine, but that is behind you." Jasper said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Close your eyes and tell me what you hear."

I sighed and closed my eyes hesitantly. "I hear the water of a stream to the east…lots of insects buzzing, I think I hear birds, I can hear what sounds like wings." I turned my head, toward another sound, too faint to identify. "There is another sound coming from the west, it's almost a shuffle, but I don't know what that is."

"Open your eyes, Bella." Alice grinned. "The shuffling sound you hear? That's lunch. Let's get closer."

We took off, heading west. As we got closer, I could make out the sounds of hooves, and lots of them, hitting the ground. "What is it?" I wondered out loud.

"Caribou, the herd is moving fast." Jasper was listening intently to the sound of the hooves.

"Can you smell them?" Alice asked me.

I closed my eyes again, inhaling. I smelled the sweet, woodsy smell of the trees around us. I could also smell the mellow, earthy musk of the dirt and rocks around us. There were other smells, too. I could make out Alice and Jasper's individual scents. When the wind blew by, suddenly I was aware of a sweet, delicious aroma. It reminded me of when Alice had hunted for me in Forks. But, it was different, almost like bittersweet chocolate compared to milk chocolate. I could feel the venom filling my mouth, and I swallowed.

"I believe that's a yes," Jasper laughed.

"Now, before we go after them, I need you to listen to me. Human Bella found the thought of blood and violence disgusting. You are not human anymore, Bella. Your senses will lead you, if you let them. Allow yourself to let go, if just for a short time, and you can do this. You will still be Bella when it's over. Do you understand?" Alice looked into my eyes, knowing this would be difficult for me.

"I will take the left side, Alice you come around the rear, and Bella you take the right. You'll need to get your arms around their necks, and snap them as fast as you can. Take two down, Bella. Don't think, just act." Jasper spoke with the authority of a general, and I imagined he must have been a very impressive leader in his military career.

The others slipped into crouches, and I followed their lead. Alice took off like lightning toward the left. She would be coming around the back, and the caribou would never even know she was there. Jasper followed her and I darted to the right of the herd. My throat was now slightly burning, and I knew if I could just disengage my humanity, this wouldn't be a problem. So, I focused on the sweet smell, the sound of their beating hearts, like an enormous thunder storm. And then it happened; something clicked inside of me. I identified the animals that would be mine. In a flash, I was on the first, a large male. Without thinking, I grabbed the fur on the caribou's neck and SNAP, it fell to the ground. The sweet, enticing aroma filled my lungs, and I remembered that I needed to get the other before they were long gone. I lunged at the next, a smaller female, and repeated the act of snapping its neck quickly. As it fell, I jumped back to my first prize. I buried my teeth through its coat, and the sense of relief was immediate as I drained its hot blood in no time. The doe's blood was only slightly cooler, but almost as satisfying.

I felt my humanity click inside of me again, and I looked down at the two caribou and sighed.

"See, Bella, I knew you could do it!" Alice appeared in front of me, and she had a sly smile as she looked down on the animals at my feet. Jasper came to join us a moment later, and patted my back but said nothing.

"I see what you mean about letting go; it wasn't even like it was me out here. It was like I was just a spectator and my body was in control."

"Bella, if you only knew how the newborns I've seen in the past had to work to gain that level of control, you'd truly be amazed. The fact that you had to fight to let your instincts kick in, rather than fight to control your thirst is simply astounding." Jasper looked at me with an expression of astonishment.

I was a little messy though.

"Bella, can you just try to be a little neater next time, your new clothes won't be here until Monday," Alice teased as we ran home.

Once we were inside, we took my few items up to what would be my new bedroom. I walked over to the bed and sat down. Alice was beside me in a flash, she wrapped her arms around me and I put my head on her shoulder.

"Bella, can we talk for a bit?" Alice asked.

"Of course, do you even have to ask?"

She laughed. "You know, you haven't even told me what you've been up to these past six months or so."

I grimaced. "Nothing terribly exciting." I knew she wouldn't let that slide, so I tried to cover it up. "I'd been working at Newton's, going to school, but most of my time was spent down in LaPush."

"What is in LaPush?" She raised an eyebrow, confused by that, which I was expecting.

"Do you remember Jacob Black, Alice? His dad and Charlie are close friends, they are almost like family. He was a good friend, he helped me a lot." I stared at my lap as I told her this.

"Oh, well I'm glad he was there for you." Alice looked out the window; she seemed to be lost in thought. After a moment she turned and smiled at me. "I know it was hard for you, I really am glad you weren't alone."

I was worried where this conversation might lead, so I stood up and walked to the window, hoping to change the subject. "It's so beautiful here, thanks for bringing me."

"We've always enjoyed our time here; it's a nice place to come when we need to get away." The ringing of her phone couldn't have come at a better time. "Hi, Esme…" I drifted off into my own thoughts while Alice finished her conversation.

* * *

APOV

"Hi, Esme!" I answered my phone cheerfully, looking forward to the time when we would all be back together again.

"Hello dear, how is everything?" Esme sounded nervous, but I brushed it off. I knew she was worried about how Bella would be handling everything, and I needed to show her that so far she was doing well.

"We're good; I'm just showing Bella her new room." I smiled at Bella, who wasn't even paying attention to me.

"Is she really ok, Alice or are you just saying that because she's right with you?" Esme inquired softly.

"I mean it, Esme. When do you think you'll be here?"

"We should be there in the afternoon tomorrow. Emmett is terribly excited to see Bella, as well as concerned. Rosalie, on the other hand, isn't being very…cooperative." Her voice trailed off, and I knew right away that she wasn't thrilled with Rose.

"Hm," I said curtly. "What a surprise. This isn't all about her, after all."

"Now, Alice, that's not helping. Emmett is trying to talk some sense into her, but she's just concerned with how this will affect the family." Esme didn't want to see anyone at odds.

I scoffed. Sometimes I couldn't help my reactions where Rose was concerned. Worried that she wasn't the center of the universe was a more apt description. Not wanting any trouble, I kept my opinions to myself. "Have you heard from Carlisle yet?" I figured that would be a safer course for this conversation.

"Yes, actually. He was going to call Jasper after I hung up with him a few minutes ago. Sounds like he and Edward have some last minute business to take care of." Esme answered.

"Really? I wonder what they're up to." I frowned; I hadn't seen any "business" involving Edward and Carlisle, which was odd.

"Well, I think whatever it is will keep them in Forks longer than they intended. We should be expecting them on Saturday at some point." Esme didn't want to say anymore right at that moment. I figured Jasper could fill me in on the details, since somehow my vision wasn't keeping me up to speed. This bothered me, but I tried to let it go for Bella's sake. I looked over to where she was sitting and she gave me a small smile.

"Alright, we'll see you tomorrow!" I stood and snapped the phone shut with one hand. "I'll give you some time to yourself, Bella. Let me know if you need anything. I think I'll just go and watch some TV." With that I set out to find my husband. I wanted to find out what he had learned from Carlisle.

Downstairs, Jasper was in the living room brushing up his video gaming skills. I went over to sit next to him on the couch. He looked over and grinned at me. "Emmett will be here tomorrow, I need to be ready." Yes, of course the important things in life. I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes.

"Jazz, please tell me what's going on." I raised my eyebrows at him expectantly.

"News travels fast." He smiled reassuringly, but he hesitated. "I just got off the phone with Carlisle, but I'm sure you know that. Edward ran into the same wolves that Bella saw in the meadow. Actually, just one of the wolves. It would seem that Bella and this werewolf have become quite close since we left Forks. His name is Jacob Black, and apparently he is the great grandson of Ephraim Black, who Carlisle knew from along time ago, before we joined them."

"Hmm, that explains things. Leave it to Bella to start hanging out with the first monsters she could find." This news would explain why Laurent had left Bella, but did it have something to do with why I missed Bella being bitten? Or why I didn't see Edward get held up in Forks? I was contemplating these facts when Jasper tried to bring me back to reality.

"Alice, there's more." He looked serious now. "Edward and Carlisle just met with the wolves, and not only was Laurent lurking around Forks, but Victoria has been trying to get to Bella as well. I doubt she knows that Bella is one of us now. The wolves have been trying to catch up with her, but she keeps slipping through the cracks."

"What are they going to do about her?" I asked, as I felt a growl building in my chest. What would this information do to Bella? She had enough to deal with now; I didn't know if this would finally throw her over the edge.

"They are going to see if they can catch her trail. The wolves have been keeping an eye on Charlie, so at least he's safe." This was a relief, for me and I knew that it would be for Bella even more.


	8. Chapter 7 Jacob

**_AN: We know this is later than we promised, so hopefully you'll find it was worth the wait in the end! ;) Please review & let us know what you think! _**

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_**Chapter 7: Jacob**_

EPOV

My head whipped around, trying to determine the exact location of the growl I had heard. The growl of a being I thought had long since disappeared from the Olympic Peninsula. Instinctively, my body crouched into an aggressive stance. Better to be safe than sorry when confronted with your eternal enemy. I let out a low responding growl of my own, trying to elicit a reply from what I could smell, sense & hear, but could not yet see.

An infinitesimal shift in its posture caught my peripheral vision. It was there, in the woods, off the path about 30 feet in front of me. Its eyes must have been closed when I first examined this section of the woods, because I wouldn't have missed them had they been open. Seeming to glow in the pale moonlight, the yellow eyes of the wolf were fixed directly on mine, intensely focused on me.

I hadn't been to LaPush in over 70 years, since the signing of the treaty between the Cullen family vampires and the Quileute werewolves. The terms of the treaty kept our existence a secret from the outside world and kept us each in our respective territories and living peacefully, as long as our family didn't bite any humans. We had all abided by the terms of the treaty for many years, with the minor exception of Jacob Black's indiscretion in telling Bella about us all. But his variance to the rules can be excused – for one thing, he thought that his retelling of our history was merely a bunch of old Indian legends. And for another thing, he was trying to impress a pretty wonderful girl. I couldn't fault him for that. But though I hadn't been to LaPush in all those years, it had been assumed that the wolves had died out. The sight in front of me turned that theory completely upside down.

I stared at the wolf before me now. It didn't look familiar, didn't resemble any of the wolves that I remembered from the treaty signing so long ago. I noticed the red russet fur, the color of the late autumn leaves. The wolf seemed to be bouncing on his heels a bit, whether from anxiety, nervousness, or waiting to spring, I couldn't be sure. It reminded me of a toddler child, unable to sit still for any length of time. It crouched a fraction of a degree lower, steadying itself, preparing for the lunge that would take it across the distance between us to strike right at me. I could hear the wolf's thoughts as clearly as if they had been spoken aloud and could feel the anger, frustration and the pain in its emotions. A litany of thoughts, questions and accusations started to run full steam through its mind.

'_Edward? Edward Cullen?? What the Hell is HE doing here? Him & his stupid bloodsucking family – auugh, this isn't happening! He's not supposed to be anywhere near Forks. They should have just stayed gone! They're the reason for all of this! Vampires & werewolves. If they'd never lived here, the damned leech in the meadow would never have come to Forks. He'd never have gone near Bella in the first place! Good thing we took care of him. Ugh, I wish I could take care of Cullen once and for all! He didn't deserve her. He didn't care about her. Just left her and destroyed her. I love you, Bella, and I wish you knew that. '_

I wasn't entirely sure I was correct, but I had to take the chance.

"Jacob? Jacob Black?"

The wolf stiffened, and relaxed its position almost imperceptibly. Its head cocked slightly to the side, its eyes narrowed, reminiscent of a curious but suspicious child. The fact that it hadn't attacked gave me reason to believe I may have been correct in my guess. Could it really be Jacob Black? He was only a child, just 16 years old. Jacob was a Quileute werewolf? Did Bella know?

I quickly reviewed the memory of Bella's day in the meadow as she had described it to Alice. She had mentioned the arrival of five wolves and their subsequent chase of Laurent. Had Jacob been one of those werewolves?

"Are you Jacob Black? Just think your response, I'll hear it." I paused, waiting to see what reaction my words and my calm tone would have on the wolf. The response was almost immediate.

'_Think my response? What the Hell does that mean? Like he's a mind reader? Please, give me a break. I'm not going to give the filthy leech the satisfaction. What did Bella ever see in him? Think you can read minds, Cullen? Read this – I hate what you did to Bella!'_

Jacob's rant was followed by mental images that cut into me so deep; I could feel the damage they did to my long stagnant heart. Through his memories and thoughts, I saw Bella on the day that I left her in the woods a few days after her birthday party. In my memory, I left her standing amongst the trees, her eyes closed as I kissed her forehead, still trying to wrap her mind around the idea that I was not in love with her anymore. In his memory, quite different than mine, I could see her lying prone on the leaf-strewn forest floor, much further in the woods than I had left her. She was cold, wet, muddy, with a vacant look on her face that horrified me. I had never seen her eyes look so … empty. She had been lifted into someone's arms, hanging limp, repeating the same two words, 'he's gone'. His memories shifted, showing Bella stepping out of her truck somewhere I wasn't familiar with. LaPush, maybe? Her hair, normally so healthy looking, hung limply around her face. The shadows under her eyes could rival mine on those occasions when I hadn't hunted in a long while. Her skin was so pale and gray. She appeared to have lost some weight, and when she smiled, it appeared forced, and didn't come close to reaching the corners of her eyes. To say that she seemed sad would be a huge understatement. No, she looked heartbroken. Heartbroken, defeated, and miserable. Her voice, when she had spoken, was quiet, without inflection, lifeless. The memories shifted once more to a conversation overheard between Billy and Charlie, discussing Bella's mental health, how devastating it was to Charlie, how he didn't know how to help her, how zombie like she had become. And I couldn't deny the fact that I had done that to her.

After the barrage of painful memories, Jacob's thoughts took a different turn. Quickly, I could see a gradual improvement in her appearance and attitude. She was laughing with Jacob in a garage while he tinkered with some sort of an engine; sitting on a couch in an unfamiliar house watching various television shows; riding rather unstably on an old used motorcycle, her hair streaming behind her in the wind, and then crashing, but still showing signs of exhilaration on her features; hiking in the woods with a map and a compass, searching for something, that determined look on her face that I so dearly loved.

I closed my eyes for just a moment, trying to shut the proverbial door on the images that I knew I would never, ever forget, and then snapped them open again. Despite my own heartache, I could never turn my back on, or close my eyes to my enemy.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I understand how you feel. And, whether you can accept it or not, I am grateful to you for being there for her. I can see you love her. You were there for her when I couldn't be, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never repay you for taking care of her. But I don't want to fight with you. I'm not here to hurt anyone. And no, the other vampire in the meadow was not a friend. Of that, I can assure you with total honesty."

'_Why are you here then?'_ The thought ran through his mind at the same time a low growl escaped from deep within his throat.

"I think you know why I am here, Jacob."

'_Because of Bella.'_

"Yes."

'_Did you find her? Is she … okay?_ _She was in the meadow, but we're not allowed to go back there.'_ His thoughts were like whispers, the anger and distrust dissolving away into nervousness – not at being here with me, but at not knowing her outcome.

"No, I didn't locate her. My sister and brother did. She's with them now." I paused, not quite sure how to phrase my thoughts on Bella's transformation. "Is she okay? I think she'll be fine, Jacob, in time. Right now? Well, right now, she seems to have accepted it and is acclimating to the changes."

He seemed to let out a small sigh of relief, thinking to himself, as if he had forgotten I was standing there for a moment.

'_She's okay. She's alive … well, sort of, I guess.'_

He looked at me then, with a look of despondency that was almost palpable.

'_Do you know what happened to her?'_

"She was able to give some information to Alice, though I don't know the whole story. It seems she was attacked by a vampire named Laurent, and that he was scared off by some rather large wolves. Were you one of those wolves?"

'_Yeah. My pack brothers and I were tracking him. We didn't notice Bella's scent at first. It was such a nice day out. Lots of hikers were on the trail. We didn't want to push him towards the humans.'_

Jacob's 'speaking' thoughts trailed off, lost in the memory of the hunt. I could see the progression of events. He was showing me what he had seen, so that he wouldn't have to say the words aloud.

One member of the pack named Paul had caught Laurent's scent first, and had called to his pack brothers. The other four convened for the chase. Sam, the Alpha or leader of the pack , issued an attack plan, directing Paul and another wolf, Jared, to circle around and come at Laurent from the Northwest, while Sam, and the two newest pack members, Jacob and Embry, would come at him from the Southeast, corralling him into one location before they rallied their attack. They had been closing in, joining up to present a united front, when they had realized that Laurent was not alone.

The five wolves had heard part of the conversation between Laurent and Bella, and wanted to be cautious in their approach, not wanting to startle either individual.

_**"So, did you ever find Victoria?" Bella asked.**_

_**"Yes," Laurent replied. "I actually came here as a favor to her. She won't be happy about this."**_

_**"About what?"**_

_**"About me killing you," he smiled. "She wanted to save that part for herself, she's sort of put out with you, Bella."**_

**_"ME?" Bella was frightened. The wolves could hear her heartbeat start to race faster, could smell the adrenaline that had begun __to __course through her veins._**

_**"She thought it would be more appropriate to kill you, since Edward killed James…mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land, **__**so to speak. I suppose she'll be angry just the same."**_

_**"Then why not wait for her?" Bella's voice cracked, the fear building within her.**_

_**"Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella, I was hunting, and you do smell… simply mouthwatering."**_

_**"No, please Laurent."**_

_**"Look at it this way, Bella. You're lucky I was the one to find you."**_

_**"I am?"**_

_**"Yes. I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing. If you knew what Victoria was planning for you, Bella… I swear you'd be thanking me for this."**_

Laurent had then moved in closer to Bella. The wolves had decided to present a united front, hoping that their combined presence would cause Laurent to abandon his current course, leaving Bella safe and giving the wolves the opportunity to fulfill their ancestral obligation. Moving forward as one, the wolves advanced toward Laurent, but they were too late by a fraction of a second. Laurent had already pierced her skin with his razor sharp, venomous teeth.

Instantly, the wolves launched themselves forward, chasing him through the forest, catching up to him about six miles away from the meadow. They circled around, lunged at him from all sides and attacked, the five wolves working together as one cohesive entity. They dismembered him and then, they burned him, just as the legends they had listened to all their lives had instructed them to do. The wolves felt victorious at the defeat of the first vampire they had tracked down, a few of them rearing on their hind legs and braying to the sky. Until one wolfs train of thought settled back on the beautiful young girl they had been trying to protect.

'_I started to go back for her, but Sam stopped me. He sent Jared, Paul and Embry back to LaPush, and told them to phase back when they were over the boundary line. The whole time, Sam and I just stayed there, waiting. I asked him what we were doing and he kept telling me to wait. I didn't want to, but when Sam tells you to do something, you do it.'_

I noticed that Jacob's defensive posture had relaxed quite a bit as he recollected all that had happened, but he was still wary, still on alert, and I wondered when he had slept last. Jacob appeared to be completely exhausted – physically and mentally.

'_Once they were phased out of their wolf form, Sam had us both phase back, too. He told me that he knew how I felt about Bella. They all know – stupid pack connection. I told him I needed to go find her, make sure she was okay, but he forbade it. Said that either she would change into a leech, or the process would kill her. Either way, he said that she wasn't our responsibility anymore, because she wasn't human anymore!'_ Jacob's thoughts were coming to me louder now, more agitated. _'But she's my friend, I told him. I said I couldn't just leave her there! So then he ORDERED me to stay away. And like I said, once Sam tells you to do something, you can't question his orders. I tried, though. I tried like Hell to get to her, but I just couldn't get past it. It was like I was suffocating, I couldn't breathe, so I had to turn back and leave her there. But I didn't want to. I never wanted to leave her out there alone.' _

As quickly as his frustration had escalated, it just as quickly dissipated. Throughout the conversation, he had been tossing his head around, as if trying to punctuate parts of his narration physically, since he couldn't articulate the words aloud in his wolf form. But once he finished relaying the tale, his head drooped again, resigned to the facts and saddened by the harsh realities.

I had kept silent, allowing Jacob the time that he needed to detail the events of the past few days. As much as my 'talent' aggravated me at times, I was more appreciative of it tonight than I had been in a long time. Being able to view all that Jacob had seen gave me a perspective on the events that I would not have had otherwise. And within all that Jacob had seen, as had I through the mental connection we were sharing, I picked up on a glaring omission.

"Jacob, you heard Laurent speak of another vampire named Victoria, correct?" The wolf nodded its head briefly in agreement. "Did you find Victoria as well? Was she here with Laurent?" I silently hoped that he would nod in the affirmative again, but I was disappointed.

'_No, we didn't find any traces of another bloodsucker, not till I caught your trail. And we've been patrolling, you know, just in case he had friends with him, just about non-stop. When I first saw you, I thought you might be one of them.' _His thoughts switched from a conversational tone to a business-like manner quickly, as if a switch had been thrown without my seeing it. _'You don't think she's still around, do you?'_

"I have no idea, Jacob. But if your memory is correct … " I was interrupted by a low growl. Obviously, Jacob did not appreciate being second-guessed. "Then Laurent was scouting for Victoria. She's the one who was after Bella, the one who had the vendetta against her. He was just the hired help. But the pack destroyed Laurent, which means that she has no knowledge of what happened to Bella."

'_A vendetta? I don't get that part. I mean, the leech said that you killed her mate, so now she wants to kill yours. But you haven't been around here for months. How did this Victoria even know about Bella? And, you left her; she's not even with you anymore. So why go after __her__?' _Jacob's thoughts started to rush through his mind. He had picked up this particular train of thought and if left uninterrupted, would have stayed on it for quite some time. And time, right now, was something I couldn't squander.

"Jacob," I interrupted him, "it's a long story, one we don't have time for right now. The abbreviated version is that I did kill her mate. Last March, when Bella 'fell' in Phoenix? She didn't fall. She was being hunted by a tracker named James. James was Victoria's mate. He tried to kill Bella, and we stopped him. Now she wants her revenge, not on Bella, but on me." The memories of those few days, trying to catch James and Victoria on our own to keep Bella safe, still weighed heavily on me. If we'd just been able to catch them, and destroy them, everything would be so different. "She saw how my whole family tried to keep her alive, saw how I tried to protect her. I think she knew that I wouldn't be able to live without her. And considering our lifespan, that would be an exquisite torture to inflict upon me."

Recognition dawned then in Jacob's large yellow eyes. _'She'll be back ….'_ It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, she's waited this long to capture her. She won't give up, avenging his death. And if she gets close enough, she'll head straight for where Bella's scent is the strongest. She'll head straight for ... "

'_Charlie.'_ We said the name at the same moment.

We each stood our ground, reviewing the implications of what we just realized. I knew what needed to be done next.

"Jacob, can you contact Sam?" Jacob looked at me perplexed, cocking his head to the side just as he had earlier, trying to ascertain just what I wanted with my request. After a moment's pause, he nodded yes. "Good, I'd like to speak with him. My father will, as well. Will he agree to meet with us? Now?"

Jacob stood still for a few moments, never taking his eyes off of me, but it was apparent that his full attention was not on me, either. I waited, outwardly showing that I was patiently awaiting Sam's decision, inwardly wishing that the decision could come as quickly as possible. With a moment of silence between us, I was once again aware of the precious item I carried. Bella's box was still in my hands, and the truth of tonight's discoveries became so clear.

No matter what decision Sam came to, I would not be leaving within the next few hours to join Bella in Denali. That realization pained me, much more than I would have thought it would. Unconsciously, I had been counting the minutes until I could be in the same room with her again, hear her voice, look into her beautiful face and rememorize every curve of her features. Just be near her and experience that sense of peace and tranquility that was only created by her close proximity. I had thought I would never have the chance to experience that sensation again and unknowingly, I had begun to crave it. And now the clock had been stopped, indefinitely, keeping me away from her. I felt the breath in my body catch in my throat, and knew that if I were still physically able to do so, I would have begun to tear up at the disappointment. Having just been so close to her after so long apart, any further separation was going to be unbearable.

My impatience was rising, wanting to move forward but unable to do so. I felt as if Jacob had been 'talking' to Sam for hours, though I was positive that no more than a few seconds had passed.

Daybreak was steadily approaching. The blackness of the world around us had begun to lift slowly, imperceptibly, but not too bright. I could still sense the pressure in the air, the lift of the breeze, the smell of the oncoming storm. How much longer did we have until the deluge opened up on us both? I couldn't be sure.

I took advantage of the change in my perception to take in the scene before me with renewed interest, though never letting my attention waver from Jacob. Where I had difficulty making out his large form in the darkness, I could now see clearer the immense size of his frame. Jacob was larger than I had originally thought. I sorted through my memories, back to that time, so long ago, and the wolves we had met at the border between LaPush and Forks. I didn't recall the wolves being nearly as large as Jacob was. Was the new generation of Quileute werewolves significantly larger than their predecessors? It was hard to tell. The storm front had brought with it a thick layer of fog, which snaked its way across the terrain and gave the scene before me an ethereal looking haze.

I was snapped out of my reverie by Jacob's voice in my head.

'_We'll meet you in one hour at the boundary line, where the road curves before the town limits of LaPush.'_

"Thank you, Jacob."

Jacob nodded his head in return, then turned and dashed into the trees. I turned in the opposite direction and returned to the house. I needed to put Bella's box into the Volvo, and I needed to appraise Carlisle on the new developments.

* * *

Sam arrived in his human form, with the other Quileute wolves flanking him on both sides, his guard. He stepped forward and shook Carlisle's hand. I proceeded to shake Sam's hand as well, then stepped back, a slight step behind Carlisle, watching the wolves and indicating Carlisle's position as the head of the family. The meeting with the wolves had been tense, but Sam and Carlisle were reasonable men.

Concessions were made and agreed upon, and the treaty that had existed for many years was revised. It was agreed that if Victoria or any other vampire was being tracked in the area by a member of the Cullen family, as long as the wolves were made aware of our presence and our progress, we would be allowed to cross the border into LaPush and the wolves would assist in the search and capture. It was also agreed that Jacob and I would keep in contact with the status on the search for Victoria. _'I don't want to have any leeches on speed dial,'_he had grumbled until a short comment from Sam, possibly in Quileute, as I didn't understand, kept him quiet and on task. And lastly, and most importantly, it was agreed that the treaty will be considered to be still in effect since it was not a Cullen who changed Bella.

When I requested the meeting with Sam, I knew that the potential of it blowing up in my face was a true possibility. The wolves could have considered the treaty null and void and started a war with us over Bella's transformation. I was very thankful that Sam, and hopefully Jacob, saw us in a different light than they did the other type of vampires, the 'carnivores' to our 'vegetarians'. And with the new stipulations in the treaty, I was confident that once we caught her scent, she would not get away.

I didn't keep Bella safe, as I had intended, but I would keep Charlie safe. For her.

Carlisle and I, along with the wolves, spent the next 24 hours searching for any sign of Victoria. We weren't even sure that she had been with Laurent when he found Bella in the meadow five days ago, but we also weren't going to take any chances. Jacob searched with Carlisle and I, to give us a communication connection with the rest of the pack. We searched the entire Olympic National Park, as well as the dark forest areas of Washington, into Oregon to the south, over to the East, through the narrow slip of Idaho and into Montana's Glacier National Park, even to British Columbia to the North. We traversed many miles among the seven of us. She wasn't here.

We reconvened at the border, reiterated the revised conditions of the treaty, shook hands, and prepared to depart, after ensuring that Jacob and I had programmed our contact information into our cellular phones. For good measure, I also received Sam's contact info, while Jacob received Carlisle's. Should anything happen on either of our watches, there should be no reason we couldn't reach each other if necessary.

Before we turned to leave, Jacob requested to speak with me privately. His thoughts had been wavering on this point for the last few minutes, unsure as to whether or not he would be allowed to do what he wanted. He dashed into the woods quickly, and returned moments later in his human form, wearing only a pair of black sweatpants. Jacob crossed the road to stand with us, standing taller than he was the last time I saw the boy, but also with the air of someone who is trying to look stronger than he really feels. Standing in front of Sam, he stared at him for a moment, begging with his eyes for Sam to agree to whatever it was that Jacob was after. Sam didn't move, waiting patiently for Jacob to find the strength to ask what was on his mind. In a very quiet voice, they spoke in Quileute so I wouldn't understand their words. After a few minutes of intense dialogue, Sam nodded his head in agreement, though it was plain to see that he was not entirely amenable to the decision. Jacob thanked him, and then walked to where I stood.

He stood before me, unsure of where to place his hands, as he had no pockets in his sweatpants. He crossed his arms over his chest, an image that could have looked very intimidating if it weren't for the pained expression on his face. It took him a few moments until he spoke.

"Edward, I want you to do something for me. Bella was my best friend, is my best friend, and I haven't been there for her lately because of all of this." He waved his right hand away from his body in a wide arc, not pointing to anything specific. His voice was starting to crack a bit, and the tears that he was trying hard to suppress were rising to the surface. "She knows I've been avoiding her, shutting her out, and she doesn't know why. We're not allowed to tell anyone about our …. changes ... unless they're family or our imprint, so I could never tell Bells why I couldn't see her or talk to her. But," he turned slightly to see Sam and the wolves behind him, and then turned back to me, "Sam said its okay now."

His tears couldn't be reigned in anymore, and I truly felt sorry for Jacob. I knew how hard it was to lose Bella, to lose anyone that you loved. I barely functioned through the pain of the loss of her in my life, and I'd had 100 years to learn coping mechanisms. He was barely 16.

"Edward, I know that Bells saw the wolves in the clearing that day, but she doesn't know I was one of them. She doesn't know that I tried to get back to her, that I wanted to be there for her, that I …. that I …" His breath was hitching in his chest, though he was trying to keep it under control. The tears were flowing freely now. "She doesn't know that I love her and that I never wanted to hurt her. Can you tell her that for me? Please? I mean, no matter what, she'll be yours now. She always loved you and now you're back, so that will make her happy. But can you at least tell her how sorry I am that we didn't stop Laurent in time? How sorry I am that I couldn't be there with her that day? She wasn't supposed to there alone, but with all this _werewolf stuff_," he virtually spat the words out, "I couldn't be there with her and now she's gone and I'll probably never see her again, but I want you to tell her for me, okay? Tell her I love her and I never wanted to hurt her and that I'll miss her and that I don't want to say goodbye." Jacob's control was almost nonexistent at this point. He wasn't blubbering, but he was close to it. Sam stepped forward to stand with Jacob, to give him some semblance of strength, someone to lean on, figuratively, while he grieved the loss of his love.

"Jacob, I am in debt to you, to Sam and the other wolves, for saving Bella from Laurent. And I know how much you cared for her. I will tell her all of it, everything you said, I promise. It's the least I can do. But you have to do something for me." Jacob looked at me with his tearstained face, confused, but silent. "I want you to stop feeling guilty for not being there in time. It's not your fault. That was Laurent's fault. Not yours. You did save her, maybe not in the way that you intended, but you did save her. And for that, I will be eternally grateful to you."

There was nothing more to say. Jacob held his hand out, and I returned the gesture. Jacob's eyes had a fierce, determined quality to them when he looked at me as we shook hands. He gripped mine tighter, trying to reinforce the message he was sending. The message was "take care of her or else." I nodded my head to him; we released each other's hands, and turned to go our separate ways.

Carlisle was waiting for me a few steps away. We ran to the house, climbed into the Volvo, and headed north to Denali. Bella, Alice and Jasper had left Forks just about 36 hours earlier. Only a day and a half, but so much had happened in that short span of time. Carlisle discussed the ramifications of my conversation with Jacob, the meeting with the wolves, and what we would have to be looking for in the future. Victoria would never stop. Of this I was certain. We discussed my time away from the family. I told Carlisle about my journey through the southern United States and onto Brazil. He caught me up on what the family had been doing over the past months. I had missed so much, and we eventually fell into a comfortable silence, each occupied with the vast amount of information we had accumulated in the past week, as well as the newest addition to the family.

I concentrated on the road, willing the Volvo to go faster, needing to close the distance. It would be another day before we arrived, and the need to see her, to know that this was all true and that she was really with my family again was overpowering my senses. I knew things wouldn't be the same as they had been prior to my leaving. How could they be? But she had agreed to be friends, and that was fine with me. I was just ecstatic to have her back in my life. I hadn't realized just how miserable I had been without her. I knew I was sad and depressed, but seeing her now made the depth of those feelings all so clear. And I fervently hoped that I would never experience anything as excruciatingly painful as that again. I knew that as long as she was nearby, I wouldn't.


	9. Chapter 8 Tension

**AN:**** As always, thank you to our fans for the great reviews! :) ****We love that you're enjoying this story! We'd love to hear from those of you who are reading but not reviewing, too! ;) And , in our shoutout to our TM fans, we omitted one – sorry Doreansmomma! ;)**

**Sorry the last two chapters have taken a bit longer than normal! I, for one, forgot how busy Springtime can get around here! **

**Disclaimer: ****All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other.**

_**Chapter 8: Tension**_

APOV

Our first day in Denali had gone better than I expected. I was still wondering how Bella could be taking the past weeks' developments so well. But, even as a human, she had always been so strong and accepting. She had accepted Edward, and the rest of our family, for what we were. She had even wanted to become one of us.

Still, I knew she was holding some of her feelings back from me. I had seen her face in my mind after Edward left her. I wasn't sure how bad it had been for her all those months we were away, but knowing my friend and knowing how much she loved my brother, I knew she'd been beyond heartbroken. Edward had thought he was doing the right thing by telling her he no longer wanted her. But, she still believed that he didn't love her. I didn't need a vision to see that he needed to tell her the truth and fast. He kept changing his mind about what to say to her, so I couldn't tell what would happen.

I'd had many visions of Bella as a vampire before our family left Forks. It seemed inevitable. Sometimes I imagined I would just change her myself instead of going along with Edward's ridiculous plan. Now, I wished I had. At least that way she would have had a chance to say goodbye to her parents and friends. She hadn't opened up to me about how she was feeling about Charlie or Renée, and it worried me. I supposed she just needed time to absorb everything.

These were the types of things I needed to share with Esme when she arrived this afternoon. I had seen them arriving by 2:30. When I spoke with Esme last, I asked her to try to arrive ahead of Emmett and Rosalie so that I could speak to her privately. Jasper had offered to take Bella hunting, so that she would be out of earshot while we caught up. I needed to know more about how Rose was reacting to coming home early and Bella being back in the family. Bella had never been able to crack Rosalie's cool exterior. She was jealous of the attention Bella received from our family. I could not allow my sister to add more stress to Bella's situation.

We spent Friday morning watching the Food Network, which Bella seemed to enjoy. I insisted on putting her hair in a French braid, it'd been so long since I'd been able to play with her hair. She rolled her eyes as she sat on the floor in front of me. I called Jasper down from our bedroom at noon to let him know that I needed to head out to Wasilla to pick up some things.

He agreed, and according to our plan asked Bella if she would join him on a hunt.

"Sounds good, I don't know how many more episodes of _Unwrapped_ I really need to see today." She looked up at us when she said this, wrinkling her nose.

"Alright, I'll see you two when I get back then!" I kissed Bella on the cheek and gave my husband a quick kiss before I headed out the door.

I took the car and headed to the nearest department store. I had to have evidence of a shopping trip, after all. I walked in and shuddered at the smell of cheap clothing. Ugh. What could I possibly buy here? I figured I could buy some new movies. They couldn't possibly mess up a DVD at this dump, could they? I threw all the New Releases in a shopping cart, along with some new video games I thought Jasper might enjoy, and headed up to pay.

When I got back to the house, it was 2:25, perfect timing. No sooner did I place my bags in the entry way, I heard what I knew would be Esme pulling around the house. I dashed out to see her. She hurried out of the car, and grabbed me into a gigantic hug.

"Alice, it's so wonderful to see you. I've been so worried about all of you!" Esme squeezed me, and I could feel her body relax with her embrace.

"I'm glad you're here, let's get some of these things inside," I said as I gestured to her bags.

"OK, well we should have at least a half hour to speak. I sent Rose and Emmett to pick up a new TV for Bella's room." She said as she filled her arms with some of the packages she brought.

"I'm sure Rose was thrilled about that," I muttered, imagining her rolling her eyes at Esme's suggestion. "I really needed to have some time to fill you in. Bella is doing wonderful… almost too wonderful. She has taken her losses with so much grace, that it makes me wonder what she's really feeling."

Esme looked thoughtful. "I'm sure it's a lot to process. We'll be here to guide her along the way. I think that's all we can do is just be here for her."

"You're right. I am worried about Rosalie. I hope she can behave for Bella's sake." I sighed, knowing this was not likely.

"She isn't thrilled to be home," Esme frowned, her disappointment evident. "I think the most we can ask of her is to just keep her distance at this point."

"It will be good for Bella to see Emmett though, so I'm glad they came back." Emmett saw Bella like a sister just as I always did.

"Oh, Emmett is really looking forward to seeing her. He feels awful about the way it happened, but he's so excited that she's back with the family."

"Has he been able to talk to Rose about being nice to Bella?" I asked softly. I knew as well as anyone that Rose would be Rose.

"He's tried to soften her up." Esme answered sadly as she looked toward the forest, and I knew I was right.

I saw that Bella and Jasper would be arriving in just a few minutes, so I helped Esme unpack for a bit as we waited for them.

BPOV

"I think I hear Esme, Jasper!" I quickened my pace from a jog to a full run and he easily matched my pace. We had been hunting, and now we were close enough to the house that I could make out the voices from within. This would be my first time seeing Esme since September, and I had truly missed her. She had always been so accepting of me, and treated me just like she would her own daughter.

We entered the house through the rear entry, and no sooner than I had opened the door, I was pulled into Esme's loving embrace. She pulled back after a moment and smoothed my hair as she looked into my eyes with concern.

"Oh, Bella, how I've missed you, my darling. I hope you know how terribly sorry I am for all that's happened!" She put her arm around me and walked me to the Great Room where we could all speak comfortably.

"Thank you, Esme. I've missed you, too." I felt slightly embarrassed by the attention she was giving me. I knew that I would be blushing if I could.

"Emmett and Rose were right behind me. But I must warn you, Bella, that boy is way too excited to see you!" Her laughter was easy and natural and I felt comforted by her presence.

"I can't wait to see him, either!" I laughed, imagining Emmett; he was like a big walking teddy bear. His wife, on the other hand was more like a lioness, and I doubted she shared his excitement.

"It will be nice to be together again, it's been so long." Alice frowned for a moment, and I felt sad that the Cullen's had been separated for such a long time. They were so close when Edward had introduced me, and now they had been scattered all over the globe. Something told me that it had something to do with me.

"Hello!" shouted a loud, booming voice from outside the house. Emmett wasn't going to sneak in, and it made us all laugh. We rushed out the front door, and I practically bounded right into a very large Emmett coming at us just as swiftly. He caught me by the arms, his chest shaking with laughter. "It really is you, Bella. Great to see you, kid!"

I couldn't help laughing at myself, even with what I thought was a new sense of agility, it only made sense that I would practically crash right into Emmett. He needed something to tease me about. "Hey, Emmett! It's nice to _bump_ into you like this." I laughed again.

"Look at that, she's still got her sense of humor! What are all you crazies up to out here in the sticks?" I wondered which he thought was more amusing, my near-collision with him, or my lame joke.

"Hi, honey." Esme was approaching Rosalie, who was still pulling her bag out of the car. As she turned, I noticed the displeased expression on her beautiful face. Rosalie glanced at me for only a second, but it felt like she looked right through me.

"Emmett, a little help?" She said coolly to her husband. Esme, one of the bags from the BMW in her hands, stepped slightly into Rosalie's path, and looked at her in a very determined fashion. I could imagine what that look meant. It was the look every parent somehow instinctively knew would pull their children in line and make them do what they were told to do. Rosalie returned Esme's stare, as if trying to win some sort of contest. Then, her look withered. Rosalie turned to me, and with as little emotion as possible simply said, "Hello, Bella." Glancing once more at Esme, with a slight tilt of the head that seemed to say 'are you done now?' she turned and stalked into the house.

I heard Alice give out a little huff, and I turned to face her. "What was that?" She asked an uncomfortable looking Emmett.

"Oh, don't let her get to you, she just wishes we were still in Europe." Emmett muttered quietly as he pulled the remaining bags from the car.

"I'll give you a hand with those." Jasper offered, and I suspected the sudden waves of calm I was feeling came from him.

Emmett and Jasper headed back in the house with their load, and I turned to Alice.

"What aren't you telling me, Alice?" I questioned her.

"Oh, you know Rosalie, never happy about anything. Don't let her spoil the day." She smiled half-heartedly and tugged my sleeve towards the house.

This was something I hadn't considered in the past week. I had really only been focusing on two life-altering facts; first, I was now a vampire and second, Edward was now back in my life. Would I be continually on the receiving end of icy glares from Rosalie? I had never understood her intense dislike for me. I realized she thought I was a threat to her family. But, I had not forced myself on them this time. I hoped that she would understand that, and give me a break.

I was joined in my room by Alice and Esme. I knew Esme was trying not to upset me by asking too many questions, and I was extremely grateful for that. She instead told me about her most recent project, the seventeenth century house she was restoring in New York. It was relaxing to just sit back and listen to her voice. Alice sat with me on my new bed while Esme sat at the desk, her face lighting up with enthusiasm. I hadn't felt so at ease in months.

We heard yelling downstairs, and Esme and I looked at each other with our eyebrows raised.

"The boys are already using their toys, don't worry. When I was in town earlier, I picked up a new video game, and I see that they are enjoying it. This could get interesting." Alice smirked.

We headed back down stairs to watch the face off. Jasper and Emmett were each seated on the floor in front of one the sofas in the Great Room. Rosalie was curled up on the sofa behind Emmett painting her fingernails, appearing bored.

"Did I pick a good one?" Alice whispered to Jasper as she tucked herself in behind him on the sofa.

"Of course." Jasper smiled briefly for Alice before he began shouting at the television screen again. It was amusing to see him competing at video games. He was always in tight control around me, and it was nice to see him without his walls up.

After watching the epic battle for a bit, I decided to sneak to the other living room to watch a movie. Alice had picked up some great choices this morning, so I put in one that looked amusing. Through the entire movie, my focus remained elsewhere.

Esme had told me that Carlisle and Edward would be arriving here tomorrow. I had been disappointed when I found out that they were being held up in Forks. The fact that they had "business" to attend to was a bit unnerving. Had they run into Laurent? Or worse, Victoria? Edward was a strong fighter, as was Carlisle for that matter, but I couldn't help the worry that was growing inside. I had never thought I'd see his face again. Now that I had seen him, I knew that there would never be another for me. I didn't care that he didn't want me. Just knowing that he existed would be good enough for me.

Alice would know if there was trouble, I had to believe that. The nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn't go away, though. I decided I couldn't wait any longer in silence. I needed to ask Esme when the last time she talked to Carlisle was. I headed back to the Great Room where the rest of the family sat. As I approached the entryway leading in, I heard what sounded like a heated discussion between Alice and Rosalie. I froze where I was. Somehow I knew, without a doubt, that this concerned me. My intuition had always been something I could depend on, but I had noticed it was much sharper since my transformation. Maybe this was my "gift".

"…after all she's been through! Now, in addition to all of that, she loses her family, and her whole life in Forks. Would it be so hard for you to let it go? She's never done anything to you!" Alice was turned facing Rosalie, her hands waving around her head as she spoke.

Rose never looked up from painting her toenails as she spoke to Alice. "We've all suffered, Alice. Have any of us had a happy ending? No. All I'm saying is that I refuse to coddle her like a child."

"Girls, that's quite enough. Arguing is not helping anyone. We are all going to do our part in keeping this family together, is that understood?" Esme looked up from her knitting, quietly scolding her daughters.

I wasn't sure if I should turn around and go back or keep with my original plan of speaking with Esme. I decided that since the conversation was over, I would stick with my plan. As I entered the room, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at me. I put my head down, and moved to sit by Esme. The way the room was suddenly tense made me feel self-conscious.

"Welcome back, sweetheart." Esme smiled and squeezed my shoulder. I looked up quickly and returned her smile.

"Well, I am going to unpack my things. Again." Rosalie said pointedly to Alice, who glared at her in return. No one spoke until she was up the stairs and her bedroom door had closed, slightly harder than was necessary. Just as quickly, the tension in the room completely faded away.

"Esme, I was just wondering when the last time you spoke with Carlisle was?" I asked softly.

"Actually, about 15 minutes ago. Did you need to speak with him?" Esme answered.

"I just had a few questions. Nothing that can't wait. Will they still be here tomorrow?" I tried to play it off as nothing, though the question was burning my mind.

"Yes, they will. Probably first thing. Am I right, Alice?" Esme laughed as she looked at Alice.

"Yes, I think they'll be here before 10 tomorrow morning." Alice said matter-of-factly.

I sat back on the couch, the worry erasing from my mind. Edward and Carlisle were OK, they would be here tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 9 Storm Front

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;) (and IMC REALLY wants Carlisle's Mercedes after seeing one yesterday!) :)_**

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_**Chapter 9 – Storm Front**_

**BPOV**

The DVD cases lay in a neat pile on the living room table, across from the rather large plasma TV that was mounted on the wall in front of me. I couldn't believe how many DVD's Alice had picked up earlier, though considering all the time we had to watch them, I guess it made sense. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to her choices; I wondered if she just grabbed random titles and threw them into the cart. Season 3 of "The Pretender"? Good show, but not quite what I'm in the mood for. "Saw II"? Umm – no. I never could stomach those gross-out horror movies; though something tells me Emmett would be all up for watching that one. I'll have to remember not to watch if he chooses the movie. "The Little Mermaid"? Why she picked that one up, I'll never know. I continued to flip through them and settled on a movie called "Zathura". I vaguely remembering this being in the theatres a few months ago, but wasn't really all that interested in seeing it. But the DVD synopsis looked interesting. And I did like "Jumanji," which was written by the same author.

I still wasn't wholly used to not sleeping. Being awake and aware 24 hours a day was unnerving. I had spent years being programmed to 'go to bed' at night, to rest when my body needed to. But now, my body didn't have that requirement. I could read all night, if I had some books. I'd have to remember to ask Alice to get some for me the next time she went to town. Maybe she'd let me order a few from the internet. And I'd watched a few DVD's over the past few days, but even that was losing its appeal. I felt like I was skipping school to do whatever I wanted, but couldn't figure out what it was that I wanted to do. I was getting a little frustrated.

After the movie ended an hour and a half later, I debated whether to pop in another DVD or get up and see what everyone else was up to. I could vaguely hear the boys across the house, obviously still engrossed in whatever game Alice had picked up for their Playstation. Rosalie I believed was still upstairs. Alice would more than likely be wherever Jasper was. Esme was the only one I couldn't predict. I wondered what she would do to occupy her time here. She couldn't do too much here in Denali for the house she'd been restoring in Ithaca. I did see her knitting earlier. Maybe she could teach me how one day. Renée wasn't exactly good with the 'household' type skills – cooking, sewing, and laundry definitely weren't her forte.

I leaned back on the sofa, closed my eyes and allowed my mind a brief trip into my memories. Renée, and Charlie, and Jacob, and Phil, and my friends at school all paraded through my head. I wondered how they were reacting to my 'death'.

Renée would be devastated, that I knew. I remembered her collapsing in the kitchen, dropping the phone out of her hands in shock the day that she learned that her mother had passed away. Grandma Marie had been very old, living in a nursing home near us in Phoenix. She seemed to be in fair health, relatively speaking for her age, but I knew better. She'd been slowly fading ever since she lost Pop two years earlier, and I think she finally died of a broken heart. Renée didn't see it coming. That day, she totally fell apart, and I was there for her, twelve years old, sitting on the kitchen floor, my arms around her as best I could, rocking back and forth trying to comfort her with trite little sayings, "shh, it'll be okay; she's with Pop now and they're happy; she loved us; shh, don't cry, mom." Phil would be there for her now, and I was grateful that she wouldn't be alone.

Charlie, though, would be alone, and that thought pained me deeply. I knew he had good friends who would try to help him. Billy and Harry would be front and center, but Charlie was a proud man, and I didn't think he'd accept anyone's help, no matter how much he needed it. He would suffer alone. And his suffering would be long and drawn out, for not only had he lost his only daughter, 'Chief Swan' hadn't been able to keep me safe by capturing the animal near the trail that everyone believes attacked me.

And then there was Jacob. My friend. We'd been spending so much time together. He'd been distant lately, sure, but he was still my best friend. Spending time with him had been the only bright point in my life over the last few very dark months. He had gone along with my reckless schemes – fixing up and then teaching me how to ride my motorcycle, mapping out the grid lines on the map that had led me to the meadow, and he had even promised to take me cliff diving at some point. All without questioning my motivations, all while waiting, patiently, to see if someday I would feel for him as deeply as he cared for me.

I would miss them all so much and I wondered if the dull ache in my heart when I thought of them would ever subside.

And for probably the fiftieth time since I had woken up in the Cullen home a few days ago, I wished I still had the ability to cry.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the anxiety that had been building within. I didn't want to think about them anymore, about what been taken away from me in the cruelest manner; it was too painful. So with that as my motivator, I stood up and went in search of something to distract me from my ever-present thoughts.

I had barely made it half way across the house when I heard a loud exclamation that seemed to shake the windows.

"Ha! I beat you again!" Emmett shouted.

"Emmett, you always win this game, that's why you chose it. You know I can't stand it. So really, is it a victory when you beat an apathetic opponent?" Jasper looked at him, clearly amused by Emmett's enthusiasm.

"Of course it's a victory! And every victory is worth celebrating!"

I had crossed the hall and stood in the doorway, the scene playing out before me, a small smile growing as I watched. Emmett had stood up in the middle of the room, tossed the game controller at Jasper, who caught it deftly, and started to chant to no one in particular while attempting something that resembled the Cabbage Patch dance move.

"I beat you, I beat you, I beat you," he sang out loudly and quite off key.

Jasper remained seated on the floor, the two controllers in his hands, and watched his brother act like a fool. He leaned back against the couch, clearly amused, shaking his head slowly, his shoulders vibrating with his quiet chuckling. Alice was reclined on the couch behind Jasper, flipping through a magazine when Emmett had jumped to his feet and started his performance. She looked momentarily shocked by his actions, started to chuckle quietly, and was then engulfed by hysterical laughter. Emmett clearly enjoyed having an audience, the reaction from his siblings only encouraging him more. His face seemed so much more boyish to me; his smile was the largest I had ever seen, full of pure, unadulterated joy, and his eyes were absolutely glowing. He was over 91 years old, but in this moment, he seemed even younger than the 20 years old his body resembled.

Alice caught my eye across the room, clutching her ribs, and nodded her head towards Emmett. She rolled her eyes theatrically. "Can you believe this? He's in rare form tonight, let me tell you!" She choked the words out as she continued to laugh heartily.

I felt it hit me hard - a feeling of enjoyment, fun, and caring, and I began to laugh as well. A lighthearted and cheerful aura seemed to settle over the living room. I blithely wondered if this was a residual effect of Jasper's own feelings of pleasure, and I realized that I didn't care. Whether this was his doing, or just the contagious way that laughter has of spreading once it's been released, it didn't matter. I hadn't laughed this hard in a long time, maybe in forever. I turned slightly so that my back was now against the doorway instead of my shoulder in a more stable pose, and continued to watch Emmett, clutching my sides, but for a vastly different reason than I had become accustomed to lately.

"Bella!" Emmett had noticed me in the doorway. He instantly bounded over, grabbed my hands in his and had yanked me to the center of the room. He let go of my hands and resumed his performance.

"Come on – join in!" He looked down at me with such a twinkle in his eyes, it was hard to resist. Hard, but not impossible.

"I don't think so, but thanks for the invite." I stepped away and sat on the couch next to Alice.

"Oh, come on, its fun! Jasper, Alice, everyone! Let's dance!" He was in a zone and I wondered when he would get too tired to continue. He was using so much energy, putting everything he had into his frenetic movements. Oh, yeah, I remembered, vampires don't get tired. This could go on all night!

"Bella, are you okay? You look a bit … nervous?" Alice had been watching me.

"Oh, I'm fine," I said, the mirth still affecting my speech. "I was just wondering how long he'll keep doing that. I hope its not all night, I don't think I can take that much laughter!"

Emmett stopped dancing and fell with a thud on the floor next to Jasper. "I think I'm done – for now," he said with a sly grin on his face. "Rematch?"

"I don't think so," Jasper replied, shaking his head. I thought I heard him mutter something under his breath, but I wasn't entirely sure. Though most of the laughter had died away, residual chuckles and giggles were still escaping from all of us.

"What were you playing?" I hadn't been able to see the television screen from where I had been standing.

Alice snickered. "Dig Dug."

"Dig Dug? You mean like the old arcade game? You have to dig tunnels or something?" Really? That's what they'd been playing?

"Yup, and I am the Master!" Emmett chortled from the floor. Jasper just rolled his eyes.

"I would have thought you'd be playing something … more recent." I couldn't understand why, with the hundreds of games that were available for their system, they would choose something so … outdated.

"Oh, we have a ton of games, but we just wanted something light and quick. Sometimes our games can take quite a while to end." Jasper was still eyeing Emmett as he replied to me, calmly waiting for his brother to regain his composure.

"Bella, now that you've joined us, maybe we can find something we can all play!" Alice had sat up on the couch and folded her feet underneath her, so that she was almost leaning into me.

"I don't know, Alice. I've never played with a Playstation before. I'm not sure I'd know how to do it," I replied quietly. I could tell that she was excited to find something we could do together, and I didn't want to disappoint her, but I had never been good at video games. They just didn't interest me much.

Alice was quiet for a moment, deep in thought. She quickly snapped her fingers and smiled wide. "I've got it! The best game! And we can all play! All six of us!"

"What are you thinking?" Jasper obviously couldn't guess what she had up her sleeve.

"SCENE-IT!" Alice was bouncing on the corner of the sofa now, clearly under the impression that everyone would love her idea just as much as she did. Looking at the two sitting on the floor, I could see that she was right. Both Emmett and Jasper had huge grins on their faces.

"I'll go get Esme," Jasper said, as he jumped up to find her.

"I'll go get Rose." Emmett leapt from his sitting position. I hadn't noticed that despite his size, he could be very graceful and agile at times.

Alice turned to me and clasped my hands within hers. "Oh, Bella, this is going to be so much fun! Have you ever played Scene-It?"

I told her I hadn't, but that I had seen the game box in the stores and got the general idea of how it was played. It did seem like fun, combining a board game with DVD clips and questions on movies and television shows.

"Well, we actually have a few versions. Would you like to choose?" Esme had entered the room and took a seat on the couch next to me. I had always felt comforted by her soft, smooth voice, and now was no exception. Her quiet nature was oddly juxtaposed against Alice's exuberance.

"I wouldn't know which the best to play was. One of you should pick," I replied.

"Should we wait for Emmett and Rosalie to come down? Or just pick one ourselves?" Jasper looked at the three of us on the couch.

Esme hesitated, closed her eyes for a moment, and then said, "Why don't you choose one, Jasper? We can get it set up in the mean time." I had a strong feeling that Rosalie would _not_ be joining us. Stronger than a strong feeling, I _knew_ she wasn't coming down. Emmett wasn't so easy to figure out. I wasn't sure if he would chose to stay with his wife or come down and join us.

Jasper had gone to the cabinet under the television to pull out the game boxes. He held one in his hands, and then turned to us, pausing where he stood. "Do we want to play the whole board game, or just the Party Play?" I had no idea what that meant. Alice, though, obviously did.

"Oh, the party play! That's always so much fun and this way, we wont have to worry about anyone cough Jasper cough moving their pieces ahead more than they are allowed." Alice looked at her husband with an innocent, wide-eyed look on her face, as if daring him to counter what she had not-so-subtly accused him of. Jasper opened his mouth, closed it, looked away, then looked back and opened his mouth, then turned away, clearly deciding not to attempt to redeem himself. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Jasper's face.

"Does he always cheat?" I asked.

"I.Do.Not.Cheat," Jasper stated with sharp inflection on each syllable. "I merely forgot that I had already moved my game piece ahead the awarded number of spaces." He had taken a DVD out of the game box and was now returning the same box to the cabinet.

Alice leaned over, conspiratorially and whispered. "Uh huh, he 'forgot' he moved his token on the board at least three times that game." I wondered if the grin on her face could possibly grow any bigger or if her face would crack from the exertion.

"I can hear you," Jasper stated quietly. He looked seriously at Alice, who burst into another fit of giggles. He acted as though he was upset at her teasing, till I saw him turn slightly in my direction. He had a small smile on his face and when he caught me watching, he winked at me.

He returned to his seat on the floor, setting up the DVD in the Playstation console to start the game.

"Emmett, Rose, come on! Let's play!" Jasper's voice boomed loudly. I jumped a bit in my seat, not expecting the volume. I don't think I'd ever heard Jasper speak louder than a normal conversation would require. It was a bit disconcerting. I must have been looking at him oddly, because he grinned at me. "Sorry Bella, I should have warned you. I definitely have an 'outside voice' when I'm excited."

"Oh, its fine, I was just surprised, that's all," I smiled at him. "Can't they hear you fine without you yelling like that?"

"Sure they can, but this way they can't pretend they didn't hear me." The smug look on his face obviously meant something, though I couldn't imagine what.

Alice leaned towards me and whispered so quietly that even with the enhanced hearing, I had to struggle to hear her. "Em and Rose tend to lose track of time when they're together sometimes." She pulled back and gave me a wink. I nodded to her, no further explanation necessary, and then turned away from her. If I were still able to, I'm sure the blush that would have crept up on my cheeks would have burned crimson.

"Very true, Alice, however, that is not the case at the moment." Esme gave a very pointed look to both Alice and Jasper, who looked a bit chagrined. At that moment, Emmett descended the stairs and re-entered the room. His earlier exuberance and lightheartedness had all but disappeared. He was crestfallen, but was visibly trying to keep his feelings under control, not wanting to put a damper on the fun evening.

"Rose is still busy, so we can get started without her." Emmett was looking at the ground, not meeting anyone's eyes. There was more to it than that, I was sure, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it. I knew Rosalie was still upset at the recent move, and attributed his reaction to that. I hoped that she wouldn't be angry for long.

Emmett returned to his spot in the middle of the room, turned to face us, clapped his hands loudly and grinned widely. If I hadn't seen him come down the stairs myself, I would have been hard pressed to believe that he had been upset not 30 seconds ago.

"Now, we have to decide on teams. Girls versus the boys? Or Alice and Jasper versus Bella and me? Esme can join which ever team she wants." He winked at Esme, and nodded his head sideways twice, indicating that he wanted Esme on his own team.

"Thank you, Emmett, but I believe that 3 against 2, no matter the team structure, is an unfair advantage. It would be better for me to sit out this round. Besides, if you're not using the game board, you will need someone to keep a fair and accurate score. I will be the impartial referee." The indignant shouts from both Jasper and Emmett had us all giggling again. It seems that 'creative scorekeeping' was not just a Jasper trait. "Personally, I would like to see a 'girls versus the boys' match-up." Esme looked at Alice & me and mouthed the words 'crush them'. I stared at her for a second, my mouth open wide, and then laughed. So much for being impartial!

The game turned out to be a great idea. We'd been playing for hours and were having so much fun! I wasn't nearly as informed on movie trivia as my three co-players, but I was able to contribute some correct answers. The score stayed very close, neither team pulling ahead by more than two points at a time. The best part of the game was the times when the players had to watch a scene from a movie and then answer a question based on that scene. Jasper and Emmett had taken to standing up and performing their favorite scenes, sometimes seriously and sometimes so completely ridiculously that we had to pause the game until the hysterics subsided. My favorite undeniably was watching them re-enact the scenes from "The Princess Bride". Probably because they didn't portray the characters I thought they would. Emmett was Westley and Jasper was Fezzik the giant! Watching Emmett-Westley jump on Jasper-Fezzik's back, trying to beat him in battle was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Of course, Alice's face when Emmett repeated the line about "dreaming of large women" had me completely done in. We were all in such a state; none of us even saw the question come up on the TV screen.

Emmett's booming guffaw was the bass beneath our melodious laughter, so when it cut out all of a sudden, the change was drastic and noticeable.

"Rose, honey, are you okay?" No one had noticed Rosalie enter the room, so none of us was sure how long she had been standing there, watching us.

"Do I look okay, Emmett?" As a matter of fact, she seemed livid. This wasn't going to be good.

"Rosalie, is there something you'd like to talk about?" Esme's soothing tone was soft and inviting, but it seemed to be having no affect on her at all. "Come, sit down, we'd love for you to join us."

"Really? Seems like you're all having a fine time without me, as a matter of fact." She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, a clear sign of defiance and anger, her voice dripping with sarcasm and hostility.

We all took turns looking at each other in confusion. Hadn't Emmett invited her to join us? Alice's jaw seemed to be clenched tightly, her lips pressed together in a thin line. It was clear she had something she wished to say.

"Rose, I tried to get you to come down, but you told me to go away, to leave you alone. You know we'd never exclude you on purpose. We wanted you to come play." Emmett's voice resonated with his feelings of regret and sadness. Even if Rosalie had asked him to go away, he still felt badly that she was upset. I could see the small spark of pain in his eyes and the set of his face.

"You didn't miss me much, I see." She looked at each member of the family in turn, anger on her face, until her eyes searched out mine. The look of anger turned to outright fury. "Now that _Bella's_ here, what do you need me for?" The way she sneered my name was unnerving. I knew she didn't like me much; I really had no idea that she completely loathed me.

If she had issues with me, I was not about to sit back and let anyone else take the brunt of her frustrations. I stood from my place on the couch, and took a few steps forward, stepping over Jasper's legs, until I stood in front of Rosalie, about five feet away. Old habits die hard and I didn't want to be within arms length of her. She watched my approach with the intensity of a lioness preparing to pounce on its prey.

"Rosalie, is there something you would like to say to me?" I struggled not to sound antagonistic towards her, and it surprised me how difficult that was right now. When I was human, I had tried to be as polite to her as I could be, and I realized now that back then, I wasn't being polite, I was scared. My human self was very afraid of Rosalie Hale. My vampire self was another matter entirely. I waited a moment to gauge her reaction to my forward approach. A flicker of surprise crossed her features before she set them back in their previous state of hatred.

"There are _many_ things I'd like to say to you right now." She pursed her lips together, her eyes narrowed to slits. She didn't look like she was going to elaborate on her comment.

"Well? I'm right here, so say what you have to say." We were going to have this out once and for all.

"Girls, please, let's all take a moment and calm down a bit. Rose, Bella, come sit down and we'll talk."

"I'm sorry, Esme, but I'm not going to sit with her." I could not believe that Rosalie was being so obstinate.

"What is your problem? Ever since you arrived, you've been like this, and we both know this has nothing to do with the game. What the Hell did I ever do to you?" The volume in my voice increased slightly and I made a mental note to control it better. I didn't want to fight with Rosalie at all, and I certainly wasn't going to turn this into a screaming match in Esme's house. I had too much respect for her to do something like that.

"You are my problem, Bella. You've been the problem for the last year and a half!" Rosalie began to fidget, her arms dropping by her side for a moment, only to re-cross them over her chest. I knew she wasn't done yet. She seemed to be debating on what exactly to say next.

"I've been your problem? How do you figure?" I wasn't wholly surprised by her comment, but I was stung by how much it hurt to hear it verbalized.

Rosalie seemed energized by my retort.

"Everything in our lives has revolved around you since the day you darkened our doorstep. We were existing just fine. No one at school bothered us, we kept to ourselves and then we could go home and be _us_. No pretense, no pretending. Then _YOU_ show up. Why Edward had to go and fall in love with a human is totally beyond me! And then you're at the house, and you're there when we play baseball and Jasper is _beside_ himself having to deal with his reaction to your blood AND Edwards' reactions. Then of course, there's the whole James incident, and the WHOLE family is jumping through hoops to keep you safe! And what do you do? You trick Alice and Jasper and go to James anyway! Sometimes I wish he had just finished you off …"

"Rosalie!" Esme shouted, appalled.

"Rose, that's way out of line!" Emmett said to her sternly.

Alice was muttering under her breath, a fierce look on her face. Jasper looked stunned. I wasn't sure exactly how I felt at the moment. I knew that Rosalie truly believed all that she was saying; I had underestimated exactly how affected she felt by my presence.

"Because if he did," she continued without acknowledging her families disapproval, "then we wouldn't have had to have a birthday party for you, and we wouldn't have had to leave Forks and everything could have gone back to normal, the way it used to be. But no, we had to 'keep you safe' … always about _you._ And I didn't complain. I went along with it, because it was what Edward wanted. And contrary to popular belief, I would do just about anything for Edward. So we left, and rather than stick around Ithaca, Emmett and I went to Europe, and you want to know something? Europe was EXACTLY what I needed. The sites, the sounds, the shopping – and for the first time in years, I was enjoying myself! And then, guess what happened? We had to RUSH back here. Drop everything and rush back home. Why? Because of _Bella_! Again! I'm SO tired of having to drop everything because of you! I'm tired of having to change my entire life every few months because of you! How hard is it for one little girl to stay out of trouble? Why do you always need to be rescued and why does it always have to involve us?"

"That is ENOUGH." Esme's voice remained at a low volume, but the stern tone she used ended the tirade instantaneously. Her jaw was set tight. I had never seen her like this before. She was furious. "You owe Bella an apology."

"No Esme, I don't feel sorry for anything I said." She stood her ground against her mother, unyielding.

"Rosalie …" Esme's voice was close to a growl.

"Esme, its okay," I said quietly. "Rose is entitled to her opinion."

"No, Bella, what she said …."

"Is _her_ opinion. She obviously has thought long and hard about all of this." I glanced around, taking in the expressions on their faces. Emmett looked down at the ground, Jasper's features were steady, and Alice still looked like she wanted to attack Rose. Esme looked at me perplexed.

"Humph," Rosalie shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Rosalie," I turned to look straight at her now. I wasn't going to back down. "I'm sorry that my being around has been difficult for you. I'm not going to say that I wasn't nervous to see you again, since we've never really gotten along, but this... your reaction ..." I stopped for a moment to collect my thoughts. "Look, I realize that you have been affected negatively by my presence, but do you _honestly_ think I wanted any of those things to happen? I never asked for James to track me! I never wanted anyone to get hurt! I remember saying quite clearly that I didn't want your family to risk themselves against James, Laurent and Victoria. The birthday party was a mistake from the beginning, but it was born of good intentions. The family having to leave Forks wasn't my decision any more than your forced return was." I closed my eyes for a second, debating on whether or not to speak aloud the thoughts in my head, wondering if it would make a difference to her. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to speak calmly and try to diffuse the tension that has been growing amongst all of us.

"I can't change what happened to me any more than you can change what happened to you. Yes, there was a time when I wanted to join this family more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life, but I never wanted it to be like this. You know, I thought that maybe you would understand. I thought that maybe you could sympathize with all I've been through this past week. Being alone … attacked … not knowing if anyone would find me or how long I'd lie there … wondering if I was going to live or die. But maybe I overestimated you."

The calm, steady quality of my voice slipped into a pleading tone, fervently hoping that somehow she could see my side of the situation.

"All I know for sure is that we're both here, and we're all here because of the compassion and love of the people in this room and this family. Edward and Esme were dying, but Carlisle saw something in them, something good, and wanted to give them a second chance. YOU brought Emmett to the family, for the same reason, to give a good person a second chance. Alice and Jasper could have spent their lives together without ever finding this family, but even when they did, they were welcomed and accepted. And you … Carlisle saw something good in you, too. He felt you deserved a second chance. The only thing we can do now is either agree to work hard towards finding some common ground or agree to keep as far away from each other as possible. But I am not going to sit here quietly anymore and let you constantly berate me or make me feel guilty because you have issues with me. Either learn to deal with them, or learn to stay away from me. Because I don't intend to spend the rest of eternity fighting with you. Besides, this could all be temporary anyway. This time next year, I may be long gone, and all of this drama and tension will have been for nothing. Either way, pick one of the two options I gave you and let's end this, once and for all."

It felt good to get all of that off my chest. It felt really good, but it was also draining. Now that I was done, the room was quiet and the silence was unnerving. I glanced around slowly, wondering what they were all thinking, for I couldn't quite understand the looks on their faces. Alice had moved closer to Jasper and was grasping him around the waist, her eyes still locked on me, fear mixing with confusion. What was she afraid of? Jasper and Emmett both looked a bit dazed and confused, and glanced at one another, as if trying to work together in silence to figure out the answer to a puzzle. And Esme – I think that if it were possible for our kind to cry, she would be. I didn't understand, I thought that they would be on my side, that they would have supported some, if not most of what I had said. But they all looked sad, for some reason I couldn't fathom.

Was I wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have spoken to Rosalie like that. I was a guest in the house, and no matter how frustrated I was, maybe I had been a little out of line? I wasn't sure, and I needed time to think.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I'm sorry, everyone, for everything." After a last glance, I left, out the back door, up the hill and through the densely wooded terrain. Running across the ground, over the tree roots and under the low hanging branches, with the soft, fluffy snowflakes dusting my hair and brushing across my cheeks, my body felt so free, finally released from its clumsy human traits. My mind was already on overdrive.

I wasn't sure where I was going, but I needed to get as far away as possible. I needed time to think, to try to figure out what I might have said that would have upset them all. I needed time to think about everything. I hadn't had a moment alone, truly alone, since Alice had found me in the meadow, and while a part of me was afraid of what could happen out here, the other part needed the privacy to sort a few things out. Rosalie's outburst put a lot of things into perspective for me. I knew that my being around the Cullen's when I was human brought with it some challenges, but I had never truly realized just how difficult it had been on them. I wondered if perhaps Rosalie was right. Maybe it would have been better if James, or even Edward, had just killed me outright. At least then, I wouldn't have to feel the pain that was settling into the deepest part of me as I saw my frailties through their eyes. Once again, I was faced with the fact that it had never made sense for Edward, or any of them, to love me.

* * *

Esme POV

"I'm sorry, Esme. I'm sorry, everyone, for everything." Before she had barely finished speaking, Bella was out the door and off into the forest behind the house. I couldn't understand what in the world she was apologizing for. But I knew one person who needed to apologize, and she had better do it fast.

My family remained still, statues of themselves in tranquility, with the exception of their eyes, wild with expression. Alice's were the exception. Hers were shut tight, her head turned into Jasper's side, her hands clutching onto him for dear life, as a shipwreck victim would desperately grasp onto a piece of driftwood. Jasper looked at me, steady as always, as he used his gift to calm the tension that still hung in the air, permeating everything around it. I could feel the tension drain away, gradually, and I nodded my thanks to him. Emmett, looking a bit shell-shocked, proceeded slowly to Rosalie's side, hesitant to approach her after the face off with Bella, unsure of her current state of mind. I watched as he slowly reached one hand out to hers, taking it tentatively into his own, waiting to see if his gesture would be received favorably or if she would once again push him away. She looked up at him then, no longer staring at the patch of floor in front of her feet, and mimicked Alice's grasp on Jasper. Rosalie clung to Emmett's chest and buried her head into his shoulder. I couldn't see her face to try and ascertain how she was feeling.

We were a family, and Bella was a part of this family, though the look on her face as she left displayed conflict and hurt. She didn't believe it. That would be the first misconception I would rectify. I turned to the two couples in front of me. They would go and find her and bring her back and one way or another, I would make her see how important she was to me, and to all of us. We lost her once and I would be damned if we were going to lose her again. She hadn't left more than a minute or two ago, she could still be close by.

Just as I opened my mouth to set the search party in motion, a voice from the front foyer rang out loud and clear.

"Rose, what did you do?" We all turned to see Carlisle standing next to Edward, who looked absolutely crushed.

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**AN: Well, at least now we know that Edward & Carlisle made it safely to Denali! Wonder what his reaction to all the turmoil will be?**

_**We've truly loved receiving all of your reviews and support as we continue on with this story! And we could always use more! So please, send us a review, let us know what you think, speculate as to what might happen next, or just say HI! And you never know, the more reviews we get might affect how quickly we update! ;) -- TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen**_


	11. Chapter 10 Perception

_**Disclaimer:**__**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

_**TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;)**_

_**and IMC is willing to give up desire of Carlisle's S55 AMG if she can have Bella's Mercedes Guardian instead! :)**_

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_**Chapter 10 - Perception**_

**EPOV**

The sounds of the different voices of my family hit me all at once. They were all upset, and they were all thinking of Bella. I dropped my duffle bags, and raced to the front door. As I walked in, I focused on Alice's thoughts.

'_I should have done something, why did I just SIT here? Bella shouldn't have to deal with this right now, how can Rose not understand that? And what does she mean 'this could all be over', why would she want to leave us?'_ Alice was frantically thinking about an argument between Rosalie and Bella, but why? I reached the entryway, and the fearful faces of my family stopped me dead in my tracks. Once they saw me, their thoughts were impossible to decipher. Why were they keeping me out? Panic spread through my body as I realized that Bella was gone, and that something was terribly wrong. I glanced at Rosalie; her face was buried in Emmett's chest.

"Rose, what did you do?" I demanded. I felt as if my heart was lodged in my throat.

As she turned her head to look at me, her voice came in a whisper, "I'm…I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know what I was thinking. I was angry, and said some terrible things to Bella. I have to find her… she ran, I have to go after her." Her eyes were pleading with me, her thoughts begging me to understand.

"I don't think so, Rose. Sounds to me like you've done enough." I could feel fury replacing the panic.

"NO! Edward, please! I know I've made a horrible mess, please…you have to let me fix this." Her eyes were wide with an emotion I couldn't comprehend.

"I need to know what happened, what made Bella leave, and where did she go?" I was growing impatient, I needed answers

Esme cleared her throat, her features relaxed. "Edward, please calm down. We're going to find her, and we're going to bring her back." She turned to Rosalie, and spoke to her calmly, although her voice held an edge that I'd seldom heard. "I believe you know what you need to do, Rosalie. Emmett, I think you should go, as well. She may try to run away from you, and we can't risk her getting too far." Esme could always be counted on to remain calm and methodical in times of crisis.

I glared at Rosalie, trying to imagine what type of ridiculous garbage she had unloaded onto Bella to cause her to bolt. Without another word, Emmett grabbed her hand and they ran out the back door. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder, sensing that my self-control was wavering. "They'll bring her back, Edward. We need you to be calm so that when she comes back it will be as easy as possible for her."

"You're right. OK, can someone _please_ tell me what is going on?" I sighed and turned toward the others. I had to remind myself how volatile Bella would be as a newborn, that she would be different…even though she had seemed so much the same when I'd seen her last. The slightest thing would send a brand new vampire into a rage, and it seemed like whatever had gone on here was more than enough to trigger a response.

"Bella was doing so well, Edward. She was sad for what she lost, but she was just so accepting. Jasper and I couldn't believe that the only thing that seemed to be causing her worry was that she didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable." Alice shook her head, and continued. "Yesterday, Emmett and Rose arrived. Rose was annoyed that she had to come home from Europe to help us take care of Bella. It's just so typical of her!" She was getting heated, and it was almost comical to see her little fists ball up as she started to pace back in forth in front of Jasper. He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders in an effort to soothe her. She looked up at him with a small smile of thanks. Together they sat back down on the sofa.

As he draped his arm over her tiny shoulders, Jasper took over the tale. "Her emotions have been somewhat erratic since we found her. Of course, that's to be expected. But, she has so much self-control; she's been able to keep herself together like no other newborn I've come in contact with. But, it was too much, she needs to allow herself to feel her emotions, rather than suppress them. After letting things build up inside for the past week, I expected a much larger reaction. Her response to Rose's temper tantrum was actually quite minimal."

"Rose's temper tantrum? Will you explain that?" I looked back and forth between Esme, Alice and Jasper, hoping someone would elaborate.

"Yes, temper tantrum sums it up well." Esme recalled the entire conversation between Rosalie and Bella. I listened intently, and I could feel a growl building in my chest at Rose's harsh words. I always knew she could be difficult to get along with, but this was low even for her. I could see the pained expression on Bella's face in Esme's mind. I was stunned at the way Bella responded to my sister. She was never one for confrontations, but she fired back at Rosalie with so much confidence…I almost didn't recognize her. The words she spoke right before she left made no sense, though. Why was she planning on leaving after a year? Just the thought was too much to contemplate; I couldn't lose her so soon after finding her again.

"Alice, what does she mean, she'll be gone after a year?" I was getting desperate to understand what was going on in Bella's head.

"I don't know for sure. I can't seem to nail down her future, she keeps changing her mind. She must be so conflicted right now. I can't even tell if she'll be here through the night." Alice looked defeated, as she once again buried her face in Jasper's chest.

"I'd say she believes that she doesn't truly belong with us. Rose confirmed her fears just now. We'll have to convince Bella that she is a part of this family, it's not too late." Carlisle said as he stroked Esme's hair. They stared into each others eyes, and I had to turn away. The way they looked at each other, with so much love, caused my chest to constrict; it was a constant reminder of what I'd lost…what I'd thrown away.

I let out a large gust of air, and sunk down on the empty couch. My head fell back and I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew everyone was wondering about my reaction. I was battling with my instinct to run after Bella. To find her, and tell her all the things I'd wanted to tell her since September. That I'd been a fool. How could she have believed that I no longer loved her?! It was the most ridiculous idea, that I could ever stop loving her. If I lived forever, the fact that she was everything to me would never change. If I told her everything that was in my heart, what would she say? Would she laugh at me for holding on to her after she had moved on? No, Bella was not like that. Would she pity me? I tried to imagine the look on her face as I told her the truth. I remembered the way she would smile at me when she said she loved me. The way her beautiful brown eyes were filled with so much emotion, and the way her touch would put me at ease. How I craved her touch right now.

Why was I being so selfish? Bella was out there somewhere, all alone. She was hurting, and all I could think of was my own feelings. I wondered what she was thinking about now. Knowing how pathetic I was, I still needed to ask Jasper to tell me how Bella was feeling about me. I feared that I would never get another chance like this.

"Jasper, you said she's been back and forth with her emotions, have you picked up how she's feeling about me?" I couldn't bring my voice up to its normal volume; it came out as barely a whisper.

"I was wondering how long it would be before you asked that." Jasper smiled slightly. "She's been through a lot, Edward. She's lost her family and friends, and I know I don't need to explain the emotions of grief to you. She's also feeling worried. She's nervous that her being here is going to be difficult," he paused, "for you. We've tried to let her know that you're glad to have her in your life, without being too specific, but she needs to hear it from you."

"I'm not sure I know how…" I muttered. "In Forks, she mentioned we could be friends, though I don't know how I'll survive being only her friend. It's entirely possible that she moved on, which is what I intended for her to do. If she's willing to stay with us, I won't risk her happiness for my own selfishness. I'll just be a friend to her. That's all."

"Edward, that is the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day." Alice said out loud. '_And I've heard some seriously ridiculous things today!' _ She added mentally.

"You don't understand, Alice. If she no longer loves me as I love her, and I tell her how I feel, it will make her uncomfortable, and I'm not willing to risk her happiness. I can be her friend, I have to be. Losing her again, I don't think I could survive." I begged them to see my side.

"For now I'll accept your choice, Edward. _For now_. But I know Bella. It baffles me that two such intelligent people can be so blind to each others feelings. You can't keep this from her forever." Alice raised her black eyebrows at me, challenging me to argue.

"Fine, but please let me handle this. Can you just trust me on this?"

"Don't get me started, Edward. The last time you said that, I lost my two best friends. That will not happen again. I won't let you hurt her or yourself like that again." Alice was growing angry again.

"Ok, Alice. Thank you for understanding. I can't mess up like that again." I stood and decided to grab my things from the car. I brought everything up to my room, including Bella's box, which I stored deep inside my closet. I hadn't decided where or when I would present the box to her, having given it a lot of thought on the ride up with Carlisle. And now, given the emotional roller coaster she seems to have been on the last few days, I decided to wait a while longer. I unpacked my belongings, added my new CD's to the collection that had been brought here by Esme from Ithaca, checked my closet to see what new clothing Alice had purchased for me, and then, when I had completed all the tasks I could think of, I paced the room. Each minute I was in the house, while Bella was out in the forest alone, scared and upset, was torture to my heart.

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**BPOV**

Not knowing where I was, I decided to stop running and try to get my bearings. I wasn't sure what direction that I had taken, nor was I sure exactly how long I had been moving. What I wouldn't give for the compass I had left back in the meadow. Part of me wished I had run far enough to leave Alaska and enter Canada, but I highly doubted I had run the more than 350 miles to the border. Vampires were fast, but I'm sure they weren't that fast. No, I was still in Alaska, though I couldn't say exactly where.

The light snow had stopped and the ground was covered in a frosty blanket. Alaska was so beautiful, so different from Forks. I had only seen real snow once in Forks, and it was nothing like this. That snow had been heavy and wet and had only lasted a few hours on the ground before the wind shift and the addition of the ocean air had changed the precipitation over to rain and washed it all away. This snow was soft and fluffy and powdery, almost as if I had been stepping in cold drifts of cotton balls. I had never experienced anything like this before, and I couldn't help but reach down and lift a handful to my face.

With the increased acuity in my vision, I could see the complicated patterns each snowflake contained. I'd heard the old adage many times that no two snowflakes looked exactly alike, and from what I held in my hand, I believed that to be true. The crystals were so complex, hexagonal in general shape, but with tendrils and branches expanding out from their centers. Their construction was so complex, and I was transfixed by their wonder and beauty.

Suddenly, my head jerked up, and my arms and legs flexed into a crouched stance. My thirst had been lightly throbbing in the background, steadily growing during my argument with Rosalie and then increasing through my run. I had begun to understand that physical and emotional exertion would affect my thirst levels. But this was different. Something was near, and I wanted it.

I held still, letting my senses determine its location. Once located, my feet were in motion, instinct overcoming the mind, the body acting on its own, and my mind aware enough to close off my sense of smell. The distance, probably a few miles, seemed to have been covered in seconds. It had been alerted to my presence, by hearing or smell I couldn't be sure, and it dashed away, trying to escape and then I was upon it. A brown bear, not too large, a few hundred pounds, and slow. Probably just out of hibernation and looking to mate. I leapt up onto its back, reached my hands around its throat and twisted quickly, the bear roaring one moment, and then eerily silent the next as it slumped quickly, falling onto its stomach, with me still clinging to its back. I had latched my teeth onto the artery in its neck before it hit the ground, and in a short time had drained every drop.

I sat for a moment, eyes closed, relishing the powerful feeling that came from the blood rushing through my newborn body. I could feel it coursing through every part of me, pulsing in my ears, into my clenched fingers, down to my toes. I felt energized, strong, and clear-minded.

Still holding my breath, I raised myself off the ground, lifted the carcass of the bear, and looked around, trying to determine how to dispose of its body. I looked at the heights of the trees, the slope of the land, and then noticed it. About 200 yards to my left, the tree line seemed to disappear. That could only mean a few things. I jogged over, the bear still on my shoulder, and reached the cliff's edge. Perfect. I shrugged my shoulder hard, to lift the dead weight off of it, grabbed hold with both hands and pitched the body over the side. I watched it fall, brushing my hands against each other, wiping my hands of its demise, and then took a large breath.

Edward had been right. It wasn't necessary to breathe, but not breathing did become uncomfortable after a while.

I walked away from the cliff edge, sat on a large nearby rock, pulled my knees up to my chin, and looked out on the horizon, petulantly cursing the long Alaskan days. With sunrise around 5:15 in the morning, and sunset around 10:45 at night, it was virtually impossible to determine the time of day just by the light in the sky. Time of day? I wasn't sure of the date, though I thought it was Saturday, May 10th. Time as a vampire, I was learning, took on a whole new perspective than it ever had when I was human. I wasn't even sure what time I had left the Cullen's house. I sighed.

The Cullen's house. Maybe Rosalie was right. Maybe all I had ever done was darken their doorstep. Maybe it would be better for all of us if I just didn't return. I could set off on my own, maybe toward the east, through Canada, though not near the more settled areas for a while. If I stayed far enough north, through the Yukon, I think I'd be able to live out the newborn year without hurting any humans. Surely there would be enough polar bears, and caribou, and even arctic foxes, if I needed them.

But just as suddenly as that theory started to develop, resignation set in. I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing Alice again, it was too painful. I'd missed her so much, and having her near helped relieve the hole in my chest. She gave me hope. She was my savior, the one who had found me, and I would be eternally grateful to her for that. No, I knew I had to go back for Alice. But not yet.

I perked my head up. My intuition told me I was not alone. I looked around, taking in all the details of the forest. My eyes closed, and I focused on the sounds and smells around me. There was something…it was a scent I didn't recognize. "Who's there?" I asked quietly. I jumped to my feet and scanned around for my visitor, but I saw no one. It was a strange sensation. I could feel that someone was nearby.

I wasn't afraid; I knew I was able to protect myself out in these woods. The only fear I had was of being face to face with a human. I knew I wasn't nearly ready for that interaction. That was one reason why I had to stay with the Cullen's. They would keep me from doing anything I'd regret.

Finding nothing nearby, I returned to my rock.

Burying my face in my hands, I began to think about Edward, wondering if he was close to Denali yet. I couldn't deny that I was looking forward to seeing him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The same thoughts that had been plaguing me since I woke in Forks were chanting in my head again. What would it be like to try to be his friend? Did he want to be my friend, or was he just being polite for the sake of his family? How could I keep myself from touching him, or staring at his beautiful face, or losing myself in the soft lilting tones of his velvety voice? Impossible…it would all be impossible, but it had to be done. He would be near me, I reasoned with myself, and that was more than I'd hoped for.

Again, I felt that same feeling, that someone was close by. This time, the scent was different. I knew this scent, or rather, scents. Emmett and Rosalie. For a split second, I contemplated running again, not feeling confident in my own thoughts to be able to carry on a civil conversation with them. Just as quickly, I banished that idea. I couldn't run; they'd catch me, no doubt about it. They knew these woods much better than I did. And even without that knowledge, they had been able to locate me in relatively short time. One of them, or both, had decent tracking skills. Curiously, I wondered which had known which way to go. I groaned in defeat.

"Bella?" Rosalie whispered, just loud enough for me to hear her.

I turned toward her voice. I tried to compose my face, to keep myself calm. It was not easy. As they appeared through the trees, I looked away. "Leave me alone, Rosalie. Please."

"Bella, please hear me out." She paused, and looked back at Emmett, who was standing about thirty feet behind her. He nodded once to her, offering her the silent support she appeared to need to continue. I didn't want to listen, but I was intrigued. And where was I going to go, anyway?

"I want you to know that I heard every word that you said at the house. Every word. And you were right to say what you did. You've done nothing wrong, Bella. All this time, it was my own ridiculous jealousies that caused me to act like such a monster. I was jealous that my brother cared for you in a way he never could for me. It doesn't make any sense, but it's the truth. You made him so happy, in a way that the rest of us couldn't." Rosalie sat down next to me on my rock. What was she saying? She was married to Emmett, so why did Edward's feelings for me matter to her?

"But, you have Emmett. I'm not sure I understand." I said, the confusion evident in my voice.

"Yes, I do." She replied looking lovingly at her husband, still at the tree line, giving us space. "Let me see, how can I make you understand? When Carlisle changed me, he did so hoping that I could be the one for Edward. But when Edward looked at me, I could only see regret in his eyes. I was always used to being wanted; rejection was something I'd never experienced. When Edward found you, the way he would look at you… I wondered why he had never looked at me that way. I'm sorry I'm so vain, Bella. My looks were the only thing I've ever been able to count on; I have always just been the pretty one. It was hard for me to accept that he could find you more attractive than me. And I often wondered if his attraction was more because you were human than anything else." She paused again, and I could tell she was raging her own internal debate over whether to continue or not. I waited.

"You're right that none of us asked to become what we are, and that Carlisle gave us all a second chance to live, as our human lives were drawing to a close. But you made me realize that I never saw it that way. I was resentful and miserable, focusing on all that I had lost, rather than learning to accept the new chance I had been granted. I won't say I'm thrilled to be what I am, but I see now that I could have been looking at this completely differently. Maybe if I had realized that before, I could have seen you without all the bitterness that I've let affect the way I've treated you all this time. I have been so wrong about so many things."

She turned to face me. Part of me wanted to flinch away from her, a left over reaction from my human aversion to her. But I knew she was being completely sincere, that she honestly believed every word that she said. I looked into Rosalie's face, so beautiful, so troubled. The exact opposite of the way she looked at me just half an hour ago.

"I am so sorry, Bella, so terribly sorry. Please come back to the house. My brother needs you…we all need you to make our family complete."

I took a moment to absorb in all that she was saying. I looked in her eyes, and I saw a softness in them that I had only seen her direct at her family members. And now she was giving that same look to me. For the first time, Rosalie had accepted me.

"Thank you for your honesty, Rosalie. It helps to understand why you've felt this way. Trust me, I understand all about jealousy. We all know you're the most beautiful person in the world. You have no idea how I feel standing next to you, Alice and Esme sometimes." I chuckled lightly, and wondered if I would always feel like the ugly duckling next to the beautiful swans.

I looked at Rosalie, the question still in her eyes, then over to Emmett, patiently waiting as well.

"I'll come back. I don't know how much you all need me, but I know how much I need all of you right now."

"That a girl, Bella!" Emmett shouted as he moved toward us.

Rosalie touched my hand lightly and looked into my eyes. "Thank you, Bella. I hope someday we can be friends."

I looked down at her hand resting on mine. Such a friendly gesture. Something I would never have expected. "I'd like that." I could barely hear my own voice, but I'm sure she heard my sentiment.

* * *

The journey back to the house took less time than I thought it would. I wasn't sure if I had taken such a roundabout path on the way out that this was a more direct route, or if it had anything to do with the company I had on the return trip. The three of us had run through the forest, Emmett shouting challenges the whole way, Rosalie and I pointedly ignoring him, but smiling to each other over his juvenile antics. Our interactions were still strained, but maybe with enough time, we would come to a point where we could laugh with each other without all the awkwardness. I found myself looking forward to the possibility of that day.

As we neared the back of the house, and I noticed that everything appeared darker than it had been the last time I had looked. It must be nearing sunset. I slowed to a stop; the house still a short distance away, stood still and looked to the sky. The sun was setting, a glorious array of pinks, purples, blues and gold spread across the horizon as if by an abstract painter. And nearby, the moon had risen as well. I had never seen the sun and the moon in such close proximity, and both so clearly visible. I couldn't explain why, but everything seemed to be in perfect harmony around me. I hoped that it meant good things were ahead.

I shook my head, and followed Rosalie and Emmett, who had waited for me before re-entering the house. We crossed the threshold together, and I looked for the three people who had provided me with so much support over the last few days. I wanted to apologize to for my outburst and for running away. Rosalie had told me how upset they were at my departure. I scanned the faces and almost immediately, I felt the air in my lungs rush out. If I were still human, I'm sure I would have fainted.

There weren't three faces waiting for me. There were five. And while I had been thinking about him constantly, having Edward in the same room still felt more like a dream than reality, and every speech and thought I had about what I would say to him when I saw him again flew right out of my head.

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**AN: Thank you all so much!! 51 reviews for the last chapter! How overwhelming! We hope we answered you all, but if we missed someone, we're very sorry! So for this chapter, remember that every time someone reads & doesn't review, a kitten dies … so please review … for the kittens. ;)**


	12. Chapter 11 Constellations

**AN: Thank you all SO much for your reviews (110 on the last two chapters combined! Wow!) We've been astounded by your comments and praise! **

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_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

_**TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! ;) and after watching the scene during the MTV Movie Awards, IMC even has to admit that James is awfully good looking!**_

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_**Chapter 11: Constellations**_

**EPOV**

Emmett stepped loudly through the back door off the kitchen, after stamping his feet repeatedly outside in an effort to remove as much snow as he could from his boots. Rosalie and Bella trailed behind, the two of them combined creating far less noise than he did alone. The moment she crossed the threshold, I felt the familiar electrical charge course through every inch of my body, as it had every time I had touched her. Her eyes locked with mine and though I tried, I couldn't keep up with the flashes of emotion that were flickering there. Her crimson eyes changed rapidly from surprise to joy to confusion to others I couldn't identify. Her gaze dropped from mine as her head angled down, her hair framing her face, and I immediately missed the blush that I knew would have been there had this scene taken place a week ago. I wanted nothing more than to go to her, take her in my arms and confess my love and devotion.

I stood rooted in place, watching as Esme stepped forward and enveloped Bella into a tight, motherly embrace. I watched Bella's eyes close as she returned Esme's supporting hug, tentatively at first, then grasping tighter, her eyes scrunching up, as if memorizing every feeling and emotion she was sensing, her body shaking through her silent sobs. Esme stroked Bella's hair softly, and I could hear the gentle cadence of her voice as she whispered, "You're home now, Bella, you're home."

Carlisle stepped forward then and wrapped his arms around both women, his head tilted so his cheek rested on the crown of Esme's hair. "She's right, Bella. I know this has all been incredibly overwhelming for you, but I want you to know ….. we all want you to know that this is your home, and no matter what happens, we can work through anything together." I watched Bella raise her head up off of Esme's shoulder to look at Carlisle, her eyes searching his, looking for the integrity behind his words. I couldn't see my father's face from my vantage point, but I could imagine how he must have looked to her. Completely honest and open, without a hint of reservation. I'd waited for Bella's reaction, and was overjoyed when she closed her eyes and nodded reverently to him, accepting his words as truth. She released one of her arms from around Esme and wrapped it around Carlisle's waist, forming a tight triangle.

I stood on the periphery with Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett, afraid to move, lest the spell that had befallen all of us be broken.

I knew better than anyone how much Bella loved her own parents, how important Renée and Charlie were to her. But I also knew that neither of her parents was physically demonstrative or affectionate with her, and while she never said it aloud, I knew she craved that connection. Watching her now, embraced by both of my parents, I could imagine her trying to sear this moment into her memory. Her hands were wrapped around Carlisle and Esme, clinging to them tightly. Letting go of her human life would be a difficult enough transition, and I was gratified to know that she felt accepted and loved here, and would have the support that she would need. Hopefully she was beginning to believe that she was a part of us now.

Bella moved first, stepping back from our parents (how amazingly right that sounded – _our parents_ – for they were hers now, too), and turned to face the five of us, still frozen in place. She gazed at each of us in turn, unsure of what to say first. She opened her mouth to start, but never had the chance.

Alice rushed forward, dropping Jasper's hand, wrapping her arms around Bella's waist and spoke so quickly that I couldn't help but smile softly at my sister's exuberance.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you're back. I couldn't see what you were going to do or where you would go and you know how I hate it when I can't tell what's going to happen. I saw you leaving us and I couldn't bear to lose you again, but then I saw you coming back and I knew you'd decided to accept Rosalie's apology, and I'm so happy, Bella! Please don't leave us again, you're my best friend, and I don't want to have to chase you across the frozen tundra to bring you back here where you belong."

Alice's little speech took all of about four seconds from start to finish, and I couldn't help it. I was so happy to have Bella back; Alice was talking a mile a minute, and everyone was smiling for the first time in so long, that I started to laugh. They all looked at me, momentarily shocked by my outburst, before they joined in as well.

Alice released Bella from her overpowering hug, but kept a tight hold of her hand. Jasper stepped to his wife's side, holding Alice's other hand, and leaned over to place his hand on Bella's shoulder. "Welcome home, Bella." I watched her eyes sparkle a bit at the sentiment.

Rosalie and Emmett stood where they entered the house, arms wrapped tightly around each other; Rosalie folded slightly into Emmett's side. I watched Rose's face, trying to determine what had happened while they were gone and trying to pick up her train of thought. She turned her face slightly in my direction.

'_Don't ask, Edward, it's between us. But I think we'll be okay. We have more in common than I ever knew.'_ Her eyes slowly wandered away from mine to rest on Bella, who was still talking animatedly with Alice and Jasper, before they rested on me again. _'As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. She understands more than I ever gave her credit for. And she does see us for who we are, not what we are. I never thought I'd ever see a human who could do that. For what it's worth, though, I'm really sorry I didn't figure a lot of it out before now.'_

I'm sure my face looked confused at her comment, and I wished for a moment to know exactly what had happened in the woods, but knowing me so well for so long gave Rosalie the split second advantage. Before she was done with her thoughts to me, her mind switched gears and she started to run the full dialogue of the movie Grease in her head. I had to hope for the best. Rose, I knew, wouldn't disclose the details of their conversation, to me or any of the other family members, but they did seem to have found some mutual ground and the tension that had always existed between them seemed to have mostly vanished. This was more than I had ever hoped for. I nodded my head to her, acknowledging her remarks silently. She returned the gesture, and then turned her head to rest on Emmett's chest again.

I had been focusing on Rosalie, blocking everyone else out of my mind, and almost missed Alice's pointed inquiry.

'_Aren't you going to say anything to her?'_

I looked at Alice, her eyes alight with happiness and love, and it was as if the past months had never taken place. This was the same look she'd had on her face the day of Bella's birthday party, and I hadn't noticed how much I missed it until now. She truly did love Bella, maybe more than I ever gave her credit for.

Alice continued to watch me, perplexed at my lack of action.

What should I do? Would a hug be too much? Yes, definitely. A kiss on the cheek? Possible; that could be considered a 'friendly' thing to do. A handshake? Hmm, no, too impersonal. I couldn't make any mistakes where Bella was concerned. I felt my anxiety ratchet up a notch. I looked to Alice, searching for guidance, wondering which course I should take. She chuckled softly.

'_You should know by now that I can't see what will happen if you can't make up your mind! Relax, and be yourself. She always did enjoy your old-fashioned gentlemanly ways.'_

Alice was trying to taunt me a bit, but she had just given me exactly what I needed. Perspective. Bella wanted us to be friends, and I had promised myself to give her just what she wanted and needed, despite the fact that my heart and mind wanted so much more from her. And how would a gentleman greet a female friend?

Not wanting to draw too much attention to myself, I quietly sidled up to Bella's left side, and waited for a pause in her conversation with Alice and Jasper. Recognizing my intentions, Alice reached over and pulled Bella into another hug.

"You have no idea how thrilled I am that we're all together again. You're not getting away from us again." Alice pulled back, a contented smile on her face, and tugged on her husband's hand. "Jasper, I need your help with something. Come upstairs with me. We'll be back in a bit!" And they took off up the stairs, instantaneously disappearing behind their bedroom door.

Bella chuckled at Alice's antics, and instantly turned to me, eliminating my chance at a 'gentlemanly greeting'. "What's gotten into her?" Her smile was one of amusement, and curiosity.

I rolled my eyes, causing Bella to giggle again. "It seems that you were having so much fun playing the game earlier that she feels it necessary to balance the scales, so to speak." Bella tilted her head as her brow furrowed, trying to decipher my cryptic clues. I leaned in to her, speaking conspiratorially, though I knew everyone in the room could hear me. "She wants to find some games to play that the boys won't have quite the advantage with. Something that doesn't focus on music and movies – we're all a bit too well versed in those categories." I heard Alice's thoughts in my mind and laughed. "Well, she's found one game she'll succeed at, but I'm not sure if it plays to your strengths." I grinned at her. She was truly intrigued.

"Why? What is it?"

"Hannah Montana Mall Madness?" I winked at her. "As I recall, malls really weren't your favorite place."

Emmett heard me and burst out laughing. "I don't think so, Alice!"

Bella rolled her eyes at me, and chuckled. "She's determined to get me shopping one way or another." She angled toward me and placed her hand lightly on my shoulder to whisper in my ear. I turned my head away from her, moving my ear closer to her lips, but also hiding my reaction from her. I closed my eyes at the sensation of her touch, resisting the urge to reach for her to pull her closer. "She's been threatening to add me onto just about every credit card account she has, and keeps trying to trick me into her room so she can hold me hostage as she shops online. It's been torture!"

I had missed the way we could laugh at the simple things, and my heart soared as we fell into our familiar pattern, even for just that brief moment. She stepped away from me then, and returned to Carlisle and Esme, who had called to her quietly.

'_Don't look so lost, she'll come around. Trust me, I know about these things.'_

I turned to look at Emmett and I could feel my eyebrows rise in reaction to his thoughts. Emmett knew about these things? Was he kidding?

'_And don't look at me like that. I've been watching you two. It's still there, for both of you. Don't worry; just let it happen in its own time.'_ I nodded imperceptibly in his direction, not wanting to alert the others to our silent conversation.

The six of us remained in conversation for a few minutes longer, before the two remaining couples excused themselves, leaving Bella and I alone.

My 'ability' to hear the thoughts of others was often a drawback, a distraction, an annoyance. At this moment, however, I considered it a dark blessing. I had heard the thoughts of my family members, what was coming in a matter of minutes, and knew that I would need to act quickly.

"Bella, I realize it's been an awfully long day, but would you like to take a short walk with me? I wasn't sure if maybe you felt the need to hunt again? Or, if you would rather, Alaska is a wonderful location for stargazing. The lack of city lights and clouds leads to uncommon clarity."

"Thank you, Edward. I'm not really thirsty at the moment; I think I would like to see the stars, though." She spoke softly, still feeling awkward in my presence, I thought, and reminded myself to be conscious of her feelings.

"Excellent. Shall we?" I raised my arm and gestured her to walk ahead of me. I led her through the front door, and then on to a clearing I had found here years ago, about six miles from the house.

We crossed the front walkway side by side, Bella keeping pace with me. We weren't running, but were moving much quicker than we would have if she were still human. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes, the silence comforting and unassuming. I took in the dark night sky against the undisturbed beauty of the snow that had fallen earlier in the evening, luminous under the light of the moon as we made our way through the trees. I thought I had never seen the area looking so beautiful before, and I pondered whether it was the landscape alone, or the influence of my company that made it so memorable.

"We're almost there. Just a few more yards off to the right, through those trees and you'll see the clearing." Bella just nodded, not breaking her stride, walking beside me and keeping her eyes forward. I wasn't able to control the overwhelming compulsion to keep glancing in her direction, hoping that she would glance my way, too. She didn't, or at least I wasn't able to catch her at it if she did, and I tried not to be disheartened by the possibility that maybe she didn't want to be out here with me after all.

Continuing through the trees, we came to our destination, a wide rock outcropping at the precipice of one of the smaller mountain ranges near the house. I held my hand out to her, holding my breath, hoping she would take it so I could guide her over the terrain. She hesitated a moment, then cautiously reached out, lightly taking hold of my hand and allowed me to pull her up to the small summit. From our location, we could see the vast expanse of wilderness below us - the majestic mountains ahead of us, snowcapped and glowing in the moonlight, along with the thick forest below and the frozen river that meandered its way through the terrain resembled an artists rendering; it was almost too perfect an image.

I took in the view before me and felt, as I often did when I was here, that if it weren't for what I was, I would never have been so blessed to see something so magnificent. I then looked to Bella, still by my side, her hand lightly placed in mine. I would never have had the opportunity to meet and fall in love with her either. It was these times that I could reconcile that perhaps there were worse things in the world than being a vampire. It was during these times that I felt that Carlisle's choosing me wasn't fate so much as it was destiny.

Though it pained me to lose the contact, I released her hand and laid down on the flat, rock surface, which I covered with a blanket I brought from the house, intertwining my hands on top of my stomach. Bella watched me, and in her eyes I saw a flash of indecision, and I hoped she wouldn't run. I looked away, hoping that maybe by not staring I would make her feel more at ease. It seemed to work, because the next moment, she had joined me.

We were silent, the breathtaking skyscape occupying our thoughts. There was so much I wanted to say to her. I started and discarded a hundred different conversations with her in my mind just since we left the house. Now that we were here, I still hadn't figured out exactly how to say what I wanted to convey without it upsetting the delicate balance that we had all only just found with her. Logically, I knew that I had eternity to figure it out, that there was no rush. But my heart screamed at me that I had already lost so much time with her. A line from a movie popped into my head_, '__When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.' _ I started to chuckle to myself. I was comparing our relationship to When Harry Met Sally?

Bella turned in my direction, a curious smile on her face. "What's so funny?"

I couldn't tell her the truth, not yet.

"Oh, I was just thinking of something I saw in Alice's thoughts; Emmett and Jasper acting out scenes from The Princess Bride."

She laughed lightly. "That was pretty funny. I had never seen them so animated before. Emmett is a great Dread Pirate Roberts!"

She turned and smiled, and my heart felt as if it were melting. I was overcome with a feeling of déjà vu – the look on her face and the sparkle in her eyes so reminiscent of a gorgeous sunny day in Forks, lying among the wildflowers in a meadow, sharing our fears and hopes, declaring ourselves to one another. I would do anything she asked of me to keep that smile on her face forever.

After a moment, she turned her eyes back to the sky. "So, do you know anything about the constellations up there?" She pointed halfheartedly to the stars, and I wondered if she was truly interested or if she was as nervous as I felt.

"Actually, I do. From here, we can see quite a bit, partially due to the clarity of the ozone – not nearly as much smog and pollution – and partially due to the increased visual clarity that is a part of what we are. Now if you look over this way, not only can you see the constellations of the Whale, the Winged Horse and the Chained Princess, but you can also see Uranus, Neptune, Mercury, and Mars." I pointed out each of the celestial bodies slowly, letting her eyes follow the path of my hand till she could find them herself.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I couldn't believe how formal I sounded. Others get tongue-tied when they're nervous; I was starting to sound like a college professor.

"Wait, where is Mars? I can't find it." She was searching the sky in the general direction, but she was looking too high.

"Come this way." She rolled onto her side, surprising me, and brought her head closer to mine to be able to view the sky from the same angle that I was. I breathed in slowly, entranced by her scent and the feel of the weight of her body lightly resting against mine. I wanted to freeze this moment in my memory. "Follow the line of my finger, you'll see it right there, just on the horizon."

"Oh. Okay. I can see it now." She turned and looked at me, our eyes locking on each other.

* * *

**BPOV**

I watched him lie down on the blanket on the rocks, shifting slightly until he was comfortable, his hands resting on his stomach. If he closed his eyes, he would look as if he were sleeping. A Greek god in repose.

I quickly chastised myself. I needed to not to think of him that way. He had made it abundantly clear how he felt about me, and thinking of him in those terms was sure to get me into trouble.

But we were here to stargaze, and there was no better place to view the wide expanse of the sky than lying down, so with some hesitation, I lay down beside him. Though truth be told, I probably laid down closer than I needed to. I could have been 25 feet away and I would have heard every word he said perfectly. But I couldn't resist the chance to be close to him, to breathe in his scent, and to imagine for a moment that things were different.

It felt so right. Lying closely beside Edward, listening to his velvety voice as he spoke. I wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying. He could have been reciting the 50 states in alphabetical order and I would have been mesmerized. I had missed listening to him; his formal, turn-of-the-century phrases; his eloquence; his knowledge; the soft, alto tone of his voice. It was like listening to a classical concerto performed by a world-class orchestra, and I wanted to close my eyes and lose myself in the soothing sound of him.

He was telling me about the constellations in the sky, and I tried to follow along, but I was looking at him more than the stars. He hadn't changed at all, not that I expected him to, but I could see that my memory hadn't recalled him as clearly as I had thought. His hair was lighter; though I had clearly recalled the perfectly tousled way it fell across his brow. I wanted nothing more than to reach my hand up and run my fingers through it. I noticed the angles of his face; the beautiful, crooked smile; the way his eyes could dazzle me – they were all so much more powerful than I remembered.

His arm was raised in the air, pointing to the patterns in the sky, but I was more interested in his hand. How different it felt in mine now. He used to have to be so careful with me, always aware of his surroundings, taking into account that just a little more pressure than normal could crush the bones in my body. Now, I could take his hand in mine, without conscious thought or extra care, and he couldn't hurt me.

No, he couldn't hurt me physically, not anymore. As a newborn, I was now stronger than he was. But I wondered, could I hurt him? I knew that only a vampire could kill and destroy another vampire, but would it hurt? If I were to squeeze his hand as hard as I could, what would happen? I'd have to remember to ask Alice. Not because I wanted to hurt him, I was just curious. There was still so much about this new life that I didn't know or understand.

I heard Edward speaking again, and it called me back from my thoughts.

" … Mercury, and Mars." He was showing me which planets were visible in the night sky. How much else had he tried to show me? I felt badly about not listening more closely and tried to refocus.

"Wait, where is Mars? I can't find it." I hoped he hadn't noticed that I was examining him rather than the stars. I looked where he had been pointing only a moment ago, but couldn't tell the difference between one star and the next.

"Come this way."

He looked to me, beckoning me closer, and I thought I saw what he was doing. He wanted me to lean toward him, to be able to see the stars from the same point of view that he saw them from, much the same way a parent would crouch down to show something to a child at their level.

Though I knew it probably wasn't a good idea, I couldn't resist the opportunity to get even closer to him, if only for a moment.

I scooted to his side, then rolled toward him, my arm across his waist (for balance, I told myself) and my head almost resting on his shoulder. I tried not to think about the first time we had been together like this, lying next to each other, surrounded by the beauty of nature, and the wonder of the man in my arms. That was the day I had watched him sparkle in the sun, a memory that I hoped I would be able to keep alive, long past the time all my other human memories had faded away. No matter what had happened between us, I would always remember that day as the day he told me he loved me, the day he first kissed me.

"Follow the line of my finger, you'll see it right there, just on the horizon." My eyes traced the length of his arm to his hand, then to the long, slender finger that indicated the tiny planet so many millions of miles from where we lay.

"Oh. Okay. I can see it now." I turned my head as I replied, and my eyes found his easily. He had been watching me, I could tell, and I felt that familiar flutter in my stomach. His eyes were piercing through me, trying to read my emotions, since he couldn't read my thoughts. And I wanted him to read my thoughts. I wanted him to know how much I had missed him, how much I still loved him, and how much I wanted to lean over those few inches between us and feel his lips on mine.

Then he broke his gaze, turning from me and resuming his recitation of the constellations, and I became acutely aware of how close I was to him. I slowly lifted my arm from his torso, quietly breathing in as much of his scent as I could as I pulled away, and lay back down in my previous position.

"Then if you look up from where Mars is, you'll see the Great Bear, the Little Bear, the Queen, and then, my personal favorite, the Swan."

His personal favorite was the Swan? Could that have anything to do with me? Or is that just coincidence?

"Then over this way, there are the Twins, the Hunter, Hero, and Betelgeuse."

I laughed loudly. He had to have realized I wasn't listening to him earlier and he was trying to trick me, to see if I was paying attention.

"Beetlejuice? Come on, that's not a constellation, that's the name of a movie!"

"Yes, Beetlejuice is the name of a movie, and quite an amusing one at that, but it is also the name of a star, not a constellation. It's actually the second brightest star in the constellation Orion and the ninth brightest star in the night sky. It –"

"Okay, okay, I believe you. Beetlejuice is a star! Huh, you know, I always wondered how they came up with such a silly name for that character."

"Do you remember the scene where the Maitland's are trying to pronounce his name to get him to come to their aid? There's a tiny sign that's blinking with a word spelled B-e-t-e-l-g-e-u-s-e? Well, that's the way the star is spelled."

I sighed in slightly pretend annoyance. "Is there anything you don't know?"

I turned to see if that look would be on his face, the one that didn't quite look cocky, but definitely looked self-assured and slightly arrogant. I couldn't deny that he fascinated me, with his vast knowledge of just about every subject and his ability to excel at everything he tried. He was a genius, anyone with perfect recollection and a dozen college degrees would be, but that didn't make it any less annoying at times.

"Of course. I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what the weather will bring, and I don't know how either of my brothers sometimes puts up with their wives!"

I hadn't been expecting the last part of his comment, and it made me chuckle. The comfortable feeling I had always felt around him seemed to be recreating itself again. Maybe it wouldn't be as difficult as I had thought, starting over as friends with him.

"That makes two of us. Don't get me wrong, I love Alice, but she can be a bit much at times. And Rosalie …" I decided not to elaborate on that relationship just yet. I still wasn't sure exactly where Rosalie and I stood, and didn't feel we were nearly at the point where I could make a harmless joke about her, whether she would hear it or not. That would take some time. So I changed the subject.

"Speaking of your family, what happened at the house earlier? Why did everyone disappear at the same time?" I had my theories, and though it probably wasn't fair of me to put him the spot, I didn't really want to go and ask any of the others to confirm or deny my suspicions.

He paused a moment, and then moved to sit up. I waited to see if he would lay back down, and when I saw that he wouldn't, I sat up as well. I watched him run his hand through his hair, making some of it stand up on end, and I was once again driven by the strong desire to reach up and comb it back into place with my fingers. His face scrunched up for a moment and I saw it written clear as day on his features.

"You're nervous." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to feel embarrassed, and I'm not sure how to proceed."

I was touched that he was taking my feelings into consideration, but he also needed to realize that I wasn't a china doll. I'd been through Hell and back; I could handle whatever he had to tell me. But I did want to set him at ease, so I worked to hide the slight irritation that I felt would creep into my voice, replacing it with a tone I hoped would be calm and soothing.

"Sometimes, the easiest way to say something is just to say it, without all the build-up. Sometimes, we over-think things until we've made them out to be so much more than what they really are."

He took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.

"As vampires, all of our senses are heightened. Hearing, sight, speed, balance." He looked at me, clearly amused at his little jab. I rolled my eyes at him, and wondered how long he and Emmett would continue to reference my less than graceful human self. He continued. "We feel things more deeply and fully. Our emotions and reactions are stronger, and continue to grow as time passes. You know that the couples in the family love each other very much, and have for a very long time. Their love and respect for each other only grows with each passing year. They become almost addicted to each other. And so, if they are without each other for a period of time, they suffer something like withdrawal symptoms."

I started to snicker, holding my hand over my mouth, trying to quiet the noises escaping me. It was a futile attempt, as the snickers turned to giggles, then turned to full out laughter. I couldn't help it.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh! But your face! You looked so … serious! I just … I couldn't help it! You're telling me that they all disappeared … that we _left the house_ because they wanted to …!" I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought. "Edward, I'm not that naïve! You could have just said they went to their bedrooms and I would have filled in the blanks!"

It wasn't really that funny, but he was trying to be so serious, trying so hard to find the right words to explain to me that the three very much in love, and very married couples, were being intimate, that I had to laugh. After everything I'd been through over the past few weeks – Jake's abandonment, Laurent in the meadow, the bite, the bears, the transformation, the argument with Rose – I needed a release of the tension that had become my constant companion, and once I started to laugh, I couldn't stop.

I'm not sure that Edward understood why my giggles had turned into hysterical laughter, and I was glad he couldn't read my thoughts right_ now_ - he'd think I was completely crazy. But laughter was contagious and before long, he had joined in as well.

And there we were, sitting on top of the world, lying back on the blanket on the rocks, laughing just to laugh and enjoying the moment.

Eventually, we calmed down, both of us breathing heavy from the exertion, a stray giggle working its way out from time to time.

"I haven't laughed that hard in so long. Ok, I get where they went, and why they went … but I guess I'm still missing something. You seemed so intent on getting us out of the house. Why?"

The light expression on his face fell back into the serious mask he'd worn only minutes ago, and I got the impression that he thought I should already know the answer to the question.

"I felt that it would be wise to slip away while they all became reacquainted. Our enhanced hearing allows us to hear much more than we did when we were human, and conversations and … umm … noises that would often be blocked by closed doors and distance will now sound as if they are taking place in the same room."

I was right. I should have figured that one out for myself. At that moment, I wanted the Earth to open up and swallow me. I was mortified. I just made Edward elaborate on a topic I'm sure he was already embarrassed by. And I didn't know what to say.

"Oh. I see…"

"Yes, the thought of being subjected to the exploits of three couples … I just didn't feel it would be appropriate for us to remain there. I'm sorry, I should have told you that ahead of time."

"No, Edward, please don't apologize!" My hands reflectively shot up to my cheeks, trying to hide the blush that would no longer appear. "Edward, I'm sorry. I really should have figured that out on my own. I can't imagine how ... I mean, how have you dealt with that for all of these years?"

I was embarrassed to ask the question, but I was also curious. I doubted that he ran for the hills every time someone in the family was feeling frisky; Emmett and Rosalie's relationship alone, from what I understood, would have necessitated Edward moving out completely if that were the case.

"Have you never wondered why I have the world's largest CD collection or a stereo that belongs in a room the size of a function hall? Believe me, I love music for the enjoyment it brings me, but it's also extremely handy when I want the thoughts of others out of my head, or when I want to think without distraction."

"That makes complete sense." I'm surprised I hadn't thought of that myself. I was going to have to come up with some distractions of my own. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything, you know that."

"Do you think you could loan me a few of your CD's and a set of headphones, just until I can get some of my own." I hated to ask him, knowing how protective he was of his collection, but I couldn't see being in the house without something to block out anything I didn't want to hear.

"Absolutely. Consider my collection yours."

I could feel my forehead furrow as I contemplated his answer. I was perplexed. Edward, from what I remembered, wouldn't let anyone touch his CD's. I wondered why I would be exempt from that rule? He was just being polite, I was sure.

He stood up and reached for my hand.

"Shall we return? I'm fairly certain it will be safe by now. And you're in luck – I was able to unpack and organize all the CD's while you were out with Rosalie. That should make finding your favorites much easier."

I stood up as well, brushing a few specks of dirt from my pants as he collected the blanket, and took his hand.

"Lead the way. And thank you. For the loan of the CD's, and the stargazing. I learned a lot."

We were descending from the rocks, when Edward heard what I said, stopped moving and looked back at me with smirk on his beautiful face.

"Learned a lot?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I've never had an astronomy lesson before. What did you think I meant?"

I stared back at him with what I hoped was an innocent look, not wanting him to reference my naïveté regarding the married lives of his family.

He paused a moment, and seemed to be contemplating whether or not to say something.

"Nothing. Come on."

We continued on down the small summit and proceeded back the way we came through the forest. I had released his hand when we reached the ground from the rocks, and I regretted that decision now. He walked next to me, our feet falling into a rhythm, our steps in sync, sounding as if only one person was treading through the freshly fallen snow from earlier. I had hoped he would retain his grip on my hand when I loosened my fingers, but he allowed my hand to fall. It was as I thought - he was just being chivalrous.

Consumed by my thoughts, replaying the last few hours with Edward in my mind, I didn't pay attention to the slight shiver that ran down my back, or the sensation of the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. For a moment, I thought that maybe I was just feeling a bit chilly. Then it hit me; I couldn't feel the cold. This body wouldn't react to a dip in temperature, not like that. But it had reacted eerily similar hours ago, in a different part of the forest.

I whipped my head around to the right, scanning the trees slowly, concentrating on trying to find the source of my unease.

"Bella, what is it?"

"I'm not sure. I could have sworn … I mean, I think someone's out there."

"Who?"

"I don't know. Maybe I imagined it, but I thought …" I paused, trying to concentrate.

"Did you hear something?"

"No …" I was slowly turning where I stood, searching the trees with my eyes, straining with my ears, trying to pick up any clues that seemed to be out of reach. "I can't explain it. I just … feel like there's something there. But I can't find it." I looked at him then, curious as to his reaction to my ramblings. "Do you hear anything?"

"No, nothing. It's very quiet in my head at the moment. Are you sure something's there?"

Was I sure? Not really. I took one last look around, hoping to see something that would explain the uneasy feeling that was seeping into me, but knowing as I turned that I would find nothing.

"I'm sure it's nothing. Come on. We should probably get back before they send out a search party for us."

Edward and I resumed our trek toward the house as the sun came up, the stars disappearing behind the soft light that was permeating the darkness. I had slowed my steps slightly, deep in thought. Someone or something was out there. I had felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck and knew that I wasn't imagining it. But I couldn't see anything. Edward hadn't sensed anything. Considering his additional ability and his long life as a vampire, if he didn't sense anything, then there probably wasn't anything there. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something. What else could possibly have created that reaction in me?

One thing I hadn't missed was Edward's reaction to the incident. After our exchange, we had started back to the house, Edward walking closer to me than he had before, his hand on my lower back. I wasn't even sure if he was aware that he was doing it, but I certainly wasn't going to mention it. It had felt so good to be close to him again, to laugh with him, to hold his hand. It reminded me strongly of when our relationship was beginning and everything was new and exciting. I knew he was only being courteous – holding my hand to help me up the incline of the rocks, politely removing me from the house so that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable listening in on the bedroom happenings of the three married couples. Even now, he was keeping close to me just in case there was something out there we needed to be wary of.

If it were a human, perhaps a lost hiker, it would be his duty to protect me from attacking that person. But I knew as well as I knew my own name that it wasn't a human I was sensing. Nor was it an animal. Or maybe it was nothing at all.

So much was changing in me. The transformation, the emotional upheaval, the rush that I got from being in Edward's presence. Was it any wonder that I might be imagining things? I still felt a bit like I was on a roller coaster that I couldn't get off of.

No, I had to forget about it. There was nothing out there. We were miles away from any humans, and the only other vampires nearby, Tanya and her 'family', were still away on vacation in Scotland. They were all on their way back, so that they could meet me, according to Carlisle, but I was sure that they were also being called in as the back up troops, just in case additional reinforcements were required to help keep me in line. I wasn't completely oblivious. In all honesty, I sometimes wondered if my "uncommon control", as Jasper referred to it, would just disappear at some point soon.

I could see the house in the near distance; and I knew that Edward's hand would fall from my skin within moments. I didn't think I would have the chance to be this close to him again, so I concentrated on the warmth that radiated from his touch, the light pressure of his fingers on my skin, the feel of his forearm as it brushed against my side as I walked. I remembered Edward saying that once turned, all memories that were experienced as a vampire were ingrained in the mind. Every word, every emotion, able to be recalled perfectly, and I hoped that applied to all of us, because I wanted to remember this night forever. He would never be _my_ Edward again, of that I was sure, but for a few stolen moments tonight, I almost believed he was here with me again.

Approaching the front door, I heard an acoustic guitar playing, soft and melodic chords with a slow, romantic tempo. I had never heard anything so beautiful, with the exception of Edward's piano playing. This was emotional and stirring, and so perfect; I wondered what CD someone was listening to. We stepped through the foyer and I followed the sound of the music. In the living room, in the corner by the fireplace, Jasper sat in a chair, the guitar resting on his right thigh, Alice seated on the floor in front of him, her head leaning against his left leg. Her eyes were closed, and they both looked so peaceful. He was singing to her, his voice so low that no one but her could hear the lyrics.

I watched my best friend with her husband, and felt torn inside by the conflicting emotions that started to war with each other inside me. One part of me was so happy for her. She looked completely content and I felt embarrassed to be trespassing on such a private, intimate moment. The other part of me, though, was envious of the love they felt for each other. I remembered feeling just as happy and complete at one time in my life, and now I couldn't help but think that I would never find a love like that again.

I could feel the sadness rising up within me, and knew it would be written all over my face. Before anyone noticed, I excused myself from Edward's side, intending on retreating to my room and finding something to occupy myself. As I stepped away, his fingers lightly caught mine, stopping me where I stood. I tried to clear my face before I turned to face him. His face showed sympathy, and sadness, and something else. Then as quickly as I saw it, those emotions were replaced with one of slight amusement.

"How about we go see which CD's I'll be giving up?"

He tugged my hand closer, squeezed it slightly and led me out of the foyer.

I didn't reply to him; I wasn't even sure I could find my voice. Because I could have sworn I saw a look in his eyes a few moments ago that I hadn't seen in almost a year. A look I remembered from when he had kissed me goodbye and placed me into a Mercedes bound for Arizona. A look that at the time told me, in no uncertain terms, that he loved me as much as I loved him.

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**AN: Thanks for the help with saving the kittens, we all have to do our part! So be sure to keep reviewing! :-)**

**And of course, we must acknowledge the inspiration behind Jasper's musical prowess is, of course, the incredibly talented (and gorgeous) Jackson Rathbone!**


	13. Chapter 12 Tanya

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

_**TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen own nothing, except an unhealthy obsession with the Cullen men! **_

_**And a special shout out to our reviewers – you give us the desire to want to make each chapter better than its predecessor. Silly BJ, doreansmomma, ambushed, Ginny W 31, caww (LOL at your review!!), HappyScrapMom, Kellbella, yenafer, tnuccio, LeesaM, lolawid, and so many more! Thank you!! **_

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_**Chapter 12 - Tanya**_

_**APOV**_

I was enjoying the quiet of the morning, arranging the beautiful bouquet of delphiniums and ivory roses, trying to showcase the full spectrum of azure and lavender hues to their best benefit. Jasper had been to town this morning for the newspaper and had returned with the most gorgeous arrangement I've ever seen. The flowers were amazing in appearance as well as scent. He must have ordered them special; its not as if delphiniums were easy to obtain in the middle of Alaska in May. For once I was lost in the present, thinking about how incredibly lucky I was to have him. I knew that no matter what the future would hold, he would be by my side. I'd always known that, even before I met him.

"Alice, you've got to see this!" Rosalie called, a disbelieving tone to her voice, as she held up an issue of _Vogue_ magazine. I quickly sat next to her on the sofa to get a closer look at the runway shots Rose was looking at.

"They predict _that_ will be the hottest trend this summer? I don't think so!" I laughed. Sometimes these fashion magazines were so ridiculous. "I should really go to work for them, maybe then they'd have a clue; this is horrible!"

Conversations these days were so light, so much different than the past several months. We were all enjoying each others company; nearly all the tension that was present at our reunion had since evaporated. Bella and Rosalie grew closer each day, since they had come to a better understanding of each other. Some nights Bella, Esme and I would sit around laughing at the stories Rose would tell about the boys and their antics. Rosalie loved being the center of attention, and Bella loved hearing about some of the crazy things the men in our lives did. Having Bella as one of us, not just on the outside of our family, seemed to complete us in a way even I didn't realize was possible.

"I wonder if Emmett and Jasper will ever speak with us again, now that they have _Halo 2_?" Rosalie commented as she nonchalantly flipped through her magazine, her eyes never leaving the pages. As soon as the words were out, we heard a loud thump as Emmett fell back onto the couch in the Great Room. Apparently, Jasper had won again.

"Maybe in a few months, once Emmett finally admits that he can't beat Jasper," I snickered. Emmett didn't like to lose, and no matter how many times he tried, Jasper always got the upper hand at this game.

"When will Edward and Bella be home? Maybe we could convince him to play Emmett. Since Edward hasn't even played it yet, Em might actually have a chance to win," Rose said, rolling her eyes at me. Edward had been so busy making sure Bella was comfortable and content, that he hadn't fallen prey to Emmett's constant badgering.

"Hmm, I think it will be just under an hour before they get back, they were going to see the sunrise from Goose Lake," I said after watching their futures for a minute. It was becoming increasingly difficult to give them their privacy lately. I knew how Edward felt, I knew how Bella felt, yet they both remained oblivious toward each other. They played their little 'friends' charade, although we all saw through them.

"Yesterday morning's episode was by far the most dramatic yet, wouldn't you agree?" Rose asked, her voice thick with sarcasm.

"Most definitely, that should have won an award." The laughter was coming on full force now. I almost felt guilty for laughing at their expense.

Yesterday morning had started like many others. Once the sun rose, we were all sitting around the Great Room doing our own thing. Bella was spread out on the chaise lounge reading. Edward was sitting across the room from her, also reading. From behind my laptop, I was secretly observing their comical behavior. I had to keep my thoughts to myself, so that my brother couldn't pick up on my amusement. Every so often Bella would sigh lightly and flip her hair in front of her face; her eyes would dart over to Edward who was studiously pretending to be engrossed in his book. She would look back to her book, and his eyes would dart to her face in much the same wistful manner. This went on for over an hour. It was like watching a tennis match; the glances were flying back and forth so rapidly, neither one being caught by the other.

"I ought to just smack them both. Really, it's maddening. I don't know what it's going to take to bring them together." Rosalie leaned back on the sofa, shaking her head slowly back and forth.

"Hmm, we should be expecting Tanya to be stopping by shortly." This vision was rather vague, but I was looking forward to seeing our friends again soon. They had been visiting an island off of Scotland that Carmen and Eleazar had recently purchased. Bella would be meeting them for the first time, and I hoped we could make it a party. Knowing Bella, she would object, but I was still hopeful. Although Alaska is beautiful, it can also be a bit monotonous. I needed something to look forward to after all; she would understand that, I told myself.

Rose smiled; she and Tanya had always been very close. "It will be nice to have someone else to talk to, since we've become Halo widows _again_."

"Carlisle! Esme! We have company!" I called to our parents. They emerged at the top of the staircase just as there was a knock on the front door. I jumped up quickly and threw open the door.

Tanya stepped into the foyer, and Rosalie and I began squealing with delight. Tanya grabbed each of us in a warm embrace. Carlisle and Esme had joined us by this point and Esme made her way to Tanya and greeted her in the same fashion.

"Welcome home, Tanya." Carlisle smiled genuinely at our guest, as Esme returned to his side.

"It's wonderful to see you all, it's been too long!" Tanya gushed as she looked around the room at all of us, until a slightly disappointed look appeared on her face. "Where are those other handsome Cullen boys hiding?"

"They're down in the living room playing with their toys, Tanya. Some things never change." Rosalie sighed dramatically, but a smile tugged at her lips.

"Ah, I see. Boys will be boys, I suppose." Tanya laughed her tinkling laugh. She and her two sisters, Irina and Kate, had a reputation for their fondness of all males. Naturally, they were all beautiful, but in addition to that was their ability to draw in the opposite sex, whether human or vampire. They enjoyed living without permanent mates, and often wondered how we could all remain attached for so long, without any 'variety', as they liked to say. They were actually the exception of our kind. In the world of immortals, mates were normally together for the duration of their existence.

"Well, hello good-looking!" Emmett's voice rang out from down the hall. He and Jasper strolled to meet us in the Great Room, where we had all gathered and found seats. As Rosalie turned to scowl playfully at her husband, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and turned to Tanya. "And hello to you, too, Tanya!" Rose smacked the back of his head, but leaned into him with a smirk on her face.

"Welcome back to Alaska, Tanya." Jasper said quietly, as he took his place at my side. He took my hand firmly in his, and I kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"Well, there you are! That's almost everyone, but isn't Edward with you?" Tanya asked, with curiosity burning in her eyes. We all knew Tanya liked a challenge, and considered Edward just that. On our most recent trip to visit her family, she had attempted to lure in the unattainable Edward Cullen, and he had shown no interest, much to her dismay.

"Edward is with Bella, Tanya. They'll be back soon, though," I smiled, hoping that my voice remained friendly, but reminding Tanya of Edward and Bella's history.

"Oh, yes…the girl, of course," Tanya nodded, with a slightly condescending tone. I sensed she was eager to see for herself the one who had been able to catch Edward's eye.

"We're excited that you'll be able to meet Bella at last. You'll just love her as we all do, I'm sure," Esme said with her voice full of joy.

"Oh, certainly I will. Tell me a little bit about our new friend," Tanya replied.

"Bella's one in a million, that's for sure. She's smart and brave, and boy, does she have a temper. She always keeps things interesting," Emmett laughed, as he described our sister. Rose smiled up at him; obviously they shared this opinion of her now.

"Have things worked out between herself and Edward?" Tanya asked curiously.

"Not exactly. She's been through a lot, and right now he's giving her time to adjust," Carlisle frowned slightly, but smoothed out his expression quickly.

"I see…poor Edward, he must be so disappointed to have his little friend in such a state," Tanya mused, a little too happily. I had a feeling this conversation could go bad very quickly, so I ventured to change the subject.

"Edward is fine, don't worry about him. When will we be seeing the rest of your family?" I asked.

"Irina is unpacking, Kate is entertaining a new friend, and Carmen and Eleazar had some business to attend to. I was actually hoping to see when you would all be available for a get-together," Tanya replied.

"Why don't you invite your family down once you're all settled, perhaps in a day or two?" Esme asked.

"Fabulous, we'll plan on coming down tomorrow evening then. We're all looking forward to meeting the newest Cullen, and I'm sure Kate would love to introduce her new friend."

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_**BPOV**_

The chirping crickets signaled that dawn would be coming soon as we finished tying the canoe to the top of Emmett's Jeep. Edward ran his fingers along the green surface of the fiberglass vessel as he checked to be sure it was secure. Satisfied, he stepped over to the passenger side and opened my door.

"Your chariot, my lady," he teased as my favorite crooked smile lit up his face. I moved to climb in, and he laughed as he lifted me into the monstrous vehicle. A shiver ran down my spine as his hand barely brushed my thigh when he released his hold on my waist. I jerked my head away, squeezing my eyes shut in a silent prayer that he hadn't noticed his affect on me.

He zipped in front of the Jeep and leaped into the driver's seat. As the engine roared to life, he adjusted his mirrors quickly and flicked on the headlights before he glanced in my direction. "Ready?" He asked, shifting into gear.

"Ready," I replied with a nod.

We were heading out to Goose Lake to watch the sunrise. During one of our conversations yesterday, Edward had described the beauty of the Alaskan dawn. He said the best way to view the rising sun was from the East inlet of Goose Lake. It sounded so amazing, and I told him I'd like to see it for myself one day. He immediately asked Alice for the weather conditions for this morning, offering to take me to the very spot.

Since his arrival in Denali, he had taken on the job of my personal tour guide. I was grateful for each moment we could spend together, but sometimes I worried that he was trying to overcompensate for something he felt he owed me. I had tried to tell him that he didn't need to put himself out, and that I'd get to see everything eventually. His face had fallen slightly, and his eyes bored into mine as he'd said, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I _want_ to take you. I just hope that you won't be angry at me for being so selfish. You know that I've always loved to watch your expressions when you see something new." He shrugged, and I could not argue.

As he drove, I tried to keep myself from ogling his face on the seat next to me. I only allowed myself to look directly at him when he asked me a question. Each time I looked into his eyes, I had to use every ounce of self control I could muster to not take his hand or run my fingers along his cheek. Friends didn't do those things. Friends kept their eyes fixed on the heating vent on the dashboard in order to avoid an extremely uncomfortable rejection.

"Bella."

"Hmm?" I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I looked over to see a very amused Edward. His head was resting on the back of the seat as he grinned impishly in my direction.

"We're here. Would you like to see the sunrise, or are you content to stay here and study the air vents?" he teased, winking at me. Was he flirting with me?

"Um, sure, let's go." I said weakly, reaching over to open my door.

"I'll get that," he said before jumping out and racing around to open my door for me. I took the hand he offered and smiled stupidly at him. He eased me to the ground and shut the door behind me.

We took the canoe down, and he carried it with ease to the forest edge. I trailed behind, watching as he hiked gracefully through the wilderness with the canoe raised above his head. I was just thankful that I hadn't tripped over any of the underbrush. We spoke of many different things as we walked. I knew he was being careful to not bring things up that could potentially upset me.

Once we reached the edge of the lake, Edward lowered the canoe into the water. I held onto his shoulder as I climbed into the seat he pointed out. He placed one foot on the bottom of the canoe and pushed off with his other. He sat down facing me, and pulled the paddle up and began navigating toward the center of the lake.

I took a deep breath. The morning air was crisp and smelled of pine. The cool wind blew my hair around my face, so I gathered it into a ponytail as I watched Edward rhythmically paddle from side to side. His well-defined muscles were visible on his forearms where his dark green shirt was pulled up to his elbows. I sighed and gripped the edges of the canoe. I felt the fiberglass give way under my fingertips and gasped slightly.

Edward's eyes followed mine, and he saw the impression of my fingers in the canoe. "What's wrong Bella?" He asked, half amused, half concerned.

I rolled my eyes at my own indiscretion. "Sometimes my strength still surprises me," I muttered sheepishly. Did he realize that I had been checking him out? I had certainly made myself obvious enough.

"Look out at the horizon; you'll really be able to see it after this bend." He turned his torso slightly toward the view.

The sky over my head was still blackish gray, bleeding into various shades of blue, each becoming lighter towards the tree line.

"It's amazing, Edward," I whispered, taking in the sight. I looked down at him, and he was watching me. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach as I looked back at the horizon. Why did he have to look so breathtaking?

I could still feel his eyes on my face as he answered me. "I'm glad you like it, Bella."

As the sun peaked through the trees, a warm orange glow surrounded us. I watched his skin sparkle faintly in the early sunlight. Seconds later, I watched the skin on my hands glitter as well. "I sparkle now, too." I laughed as I held out my hand toward him.

He put his hand next to mine and I smiled at the way they looked together. "Lovely," he murmured softly.

I was lost in thought for a moment, and then realized I needed a distraction. I asked him questions about the birds I could hear singing, and the different fish I could see swimming along beside the boat. These topics were safe, and I felt more comfortable as he went into detail about Alaskan wildlife.

The sun rose higher above the trees as we moved around the lake. Time was of no importance, and I was glad that Edward didn't seem in a rush to take me back home. There were several times we were both lost in our own thoughts, and we were comfortable in the silence that existed between us.

I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the way the sun felt on my face. Edward began humming softly, and I remembered all the times I'd fallen asleep to the sound of my lullaby. This memory wasn't painful. I had tried for some time to keep those thoughts out of my head in fear of the hole in my chest ripping me apart, but the only feeling I had now was one of peace. I pretended for awhile that he loved me as I loved him. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but when I opened my eyes, the sun was shining nearly overhead, and it looked like we were heading back.

I looked at him and smiled. "Thank you, Edward," I said sincerely.

He looked back at me with a slightly confused expression and asked, "For what?"

"For letting me be just 'Bella' today. For the first time in weeks, I forgot for a little while about all that's happened, and it was just really... nice."

"I'm glad. Thank you for letting me bring you here." His face lit up, and I saw genuine happiness in his eyes. I sensed that it wasn't relief from any guilt that made him happy; he was really and truly glad to be here.

We reached the shore then, and he jumped out of the canoe before I had even risen from my seat. He offered his hand once again, and I took it without hesitation. We got back to the Jeep minutes later, tied the canoe back on the roof, and headed back to the house.

Edward parked the Jeep in its usual spot. As he pulled the key out of the ignition, I saw him stiffen from the corner of my eye. He drew in a sharp breath and closed his eyes. This occurred in literally two seconds, but it was enough that I knew something was not right.

"What is it, Edward?" I asked, my voice slightly higher than normal.

He turned to look at me, and his face was completely calm. "Nothing is wrong, why would you say that?" He smiled now.

"I don't know; it's nothing, I guess." I knew something was on his mind, but forced myself to let it go. Friends needed to give each other space. If there was something wrong that involved me, he would tell me.

"All right, then." He came to open my door, and as he shut it behind me his hand automatically went up to the small of my back. He led me to the front door slowly.

I could hear the voices of my family inside, and realized there was also a voice I didn't know inside. I watched him open the door, and it seemed like it took a large effort on his part.

I walked in to see everyone gathered in the Great Room. There was a beautiful stranger in the center of the largest sofa.

"Bella, I'm glad you're here. I'd like to introduce you to one of our closest friends, Tanya," Carlisle said as he walked over to me and squeezed my shoulder. He glanced at Edward, and I could tell some sort of silent communication passed between them.

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella. I've heard so much about you," Tanya said as she gracefully approached me, reaching for my hand. I shyly extended my hand, which she took into both of hers.

"I'm glad to meet you, Tanya," I said softly. I smiled, but the nagging suspicion that something was wrong with Edward was preoccupying my mind. His demeanor was stiff, and his hand was still pressing into my back, harder than usual. I looked up at his eyes and he was looking blankly at Tanya.

"Edward, it's a pleasure to see you, too," Tanya purred sweetly. She released my hands, and placed a hand softly on his cheek. Upon contact, Edward tensed up further.

"Hello, Tanya. My sisters have been looking forward to your return. How are the others?" Edward responded politely. With his free hand he grabbed my arm and quickly steered me toward the sofa. I went along with his actions, though they confused me. Why was he reacting so adversely to Tanya? She seemed nice, though a bit touchy for my taste.

The others joined us around the seating area. Jasper, of course, picked up on Edward's tension, and looked at him with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Edward raised his eyebrows at him before turning to look out the back windows.

Alice watched this display and quickly chirped up. "Tanya's family will be coming to visit tomorrow, Bella."

"That's great, Alice," I said dryly. "What exactly does a house full of vampires do on such a special occasion?" I quickly closed my eyes, wishing the floor would swallow me whole. I heard Jasper and Emmett chuckle softly and I grimaced. I really did have a way with words.

"Well, we'd all love to learn more about you, Bella. We're all very impressed with the impact you've had on the Cullen's," Tanya said with a friendly smile, moving her eyes toward Edward. He met her glance and his jaw set firmer. I felt his hands grip me tighter once again. What was she thinking that was so clearly upsetting him?

"I hope you'll excuse me, I'd like to change out of these wet clothes," Edward said, releasing his hold on me. I looked up at his carefully controlled expression. He smiled and left the room hastily.

The room was quiet for a moment. Thankfully, Alice took over the conversation with plans for the following days visit. I couldn't figure out what had Edward in such a rush to escape. I knew for a fact that he had not gotten wet while out on the lake. I smiled at Esme, trying to lift the frown on her lovely face.

"I think I'd better get going, as well, my friends. It's wonderful to see you all, and I look forward to rejoining this party tomorrow." Tanya stood, and we all followed her movement. Alice and Rosalie each grabbed one of her arms and walked her to the front foyer.

"Until tomorrow, then, Tanya." Carlisle held open the door for her, and she slipped out into the afternoon.

I turned to Alice and Rosalie who were staring at me. "What just went on here?"

Rosalie stepped forward, and put her arm around my shoulder tentatively. "Come sit, Bella."

"That bad, huh?" I tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a snort.

"No, no Bella. It's not bad. How much do you know about Tanya and her family?" Alice asked, folding herself down next to me on the sofa.

"Not much, really. All Edward ever told me was that they were 'vegetarians', and close friends of yours." I shrugged, that didn't explain much.

"Yes, that's true. Tanya and her sisters are very good friends of ours. We've known them for many years," Carlisle said, taking his spot next to Esme on the sofa across the room from where I sat with Alice and Rose. Emmett and Jasper leaned against the back of the sofa where we sat. "But, they live a different lifestyle than ours. They don't agree with _all_ of our beliefs. As you know, we are all very committed to each other, not just as a family. Within our family, we are fully committed to our mates. Tanya, Irina, and Kate don't believe in having single mates for life. Over the years, they've passed their time enjoying a variety of mates, some for longer than others. They are all beautiful, which is not uncommon in our kind. But, in addition to beauty, they have special abilities to attract males, human and immortal." Carlisle paused, giving me a minute to absorb what he'd told me.

"I understand, they like to 'play the field', so to speak?" I asked, not sure where this conversation was headed.

"Exactly, Bella. Like Carlisle said, they are very good at getting what they want." Rosalie took over now. "They rarely deal with rejection. The last few times Edward has been in Denali, Tanya has shown interest in him. He didn't share her interest, and this took her by surprise. She was even more surprised that the first sign of interest he's shown in the opposite sex was to a human girl." She smiled at me now, waiting to see my reaction.

"Oh," was all I could say.

Alice's tinkling laugh filled the room. "She sees Edward as a challenge, Bella. As much as we all love her, we know that she makes Edward uncomfortable. She's trying to get a reaction out of him. Tanya thinks having you here will add to the challenge, and she's enjoying herself."

"I won't get in their way," I muttered, wincing.

"Bella, it's not my business to say, but, Edward does not want to pursue Tanya," Esme said as her voice took on the comforting tone that I loved so much.

"Well, whatever he wants. What can you tell me about the rest of her family?" I asked, desperate now for a change of subject. I listened half-heartedly as they told me about Irina, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar.

From Edward's bedroom upstairs, the rumbling bass of his stereo floated down.

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_**AN: I think we've saved the kittens, so I'm not going to put anything about that here – but we do love to hear your thoughts on the chapters, so please review!! **_

_**And to mandja, you asked who Jackson Rathbone is? He is the actor portraying Jasper in the Twilight movie – during a break in filming recently, he was photographed playing his guitar near the filming trailers …**_


	14. Chapter 13 Introduction

_**Disclaimer**__**: **__**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

_**TotalEclipse & IsabellaMCullen own nothing, because if we owned the Twilight universe, would we be posting here? **_

_**Thank you all for patience in waiting for this chapter. Because we made you wait, we made it extra long. We hope you enjoy it, please read & review. **_

_**(Pics to be added to profile soon – so check them out!)**_

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_**Chapter 13 - Introduction**_

_**EPOV**_

Even the strong bass guitar line coupled with the driving drum beats couldn't drown out the thoughts I could still hear in my head. Of course, they weren't my thoughts. Though I'd attempted a variety of methods, I couldn't shake the silent, one-sided, innuendo-laced conversation Tanya had felt compelled to have with me while I stood in the kitchen with Bella by my side the day before.

Tanya and I have been acquainted for a very long time, as her 'family' and mine share many of the same lifestyle choices, and over that time I had become aware of her interest in me. While she occasionally entertained the idea of a sexual relationship with me, Tanya also regarded me as an enigma – a puzzle that she felt determined to solve. After close to 1,000 years of obtaining the favor of any number of men, both human and immortal, I was often surprised at her reaction to my singular rejection. Now, she enjoyed making me feel uncomfortable when I was in her presence, though I wasn't entirely sure if it was merely a facet of her personality, or if she harbored some resentment over my continued refusal of her advances.

I had successfully avoided the subject of Tanya with my siblings since her departure yesterday, but with the imminent return visit this evening on everyone's mind, their thoughts had been finding their way into my mind. I had been overwhelmed trying to block it all out, and had retreated to my bedroom and the solace that I could often find through music.

I had already gone through half a dozen different CD's trying to find one that would do the trick, that would be able to drown out her seductive thoughts and the sultry tone of her voice as well as everyone else's opinions, but I hadn't found it yet. Or rather, I hadn't found its replacement yet. The one CD I desperately wanted was in Bella's possession, having been borrowed from me last week, with the understanding that she could keep it for as long as she wanted. I knew she was enjoying it, so I was reluctant to retrieve it. Besides, to do so would more than likely bring up the questions I didn't want to answer.

Since music wasn't going to be the solution I sought, I set my mind to work, replaying the hours previous to our encounter with Tanya.

My morning spent with Bella watching the sunrise over Goose Lake was one of the highlights of my long life. Everything about it had been as perfect as I had hoped it would be – the weather, the sights, and the enchanted look in Bella's eyes as she took in the glorious display of nature that surrounded us. I had always enjoyed the peace and serenity that I could find on the lake, and was overjoyed when she had agreed to accompany me. For as long as I live, I will never forget how beautiful she was - sitting in the canoe, the suns rays appearing just over the horizon causing the red highlights in her hair to glow like fire as the breeze lifted the loose tendrils away from her face to blow gently around her, and the wonder and amazement in her eyes as she noticed for the first time the way her exposed skin shimmered more brilliantly than any diamond ever could. She seemed truly happy at that moment, and I was grateful to have been given the opportunity to witness it.

I recalled that particular moment in my mind, mentally tracing the lines of her face, remembering from so long ago the way her skin felt beneath the palm of my hand, how soft her hair was against my skin, the way the aroma of her blood, mixed with the freesia scent that was just 'her', would encompass her like an evanescent cloud, taunting me and tantalizing me at the same time.

Bella had become nervous at one point during our excursion, and I wondered if she had caught me staring at her. I had noticed her on at least two occasions surreptitiously stealing glances in my direction, and again I internally cursed the fact that I couldn't read her mind. I wished I knew what was going on in that mind of hers, and desperately wanted to ask her what had caused her to grip the canoe so tightly that she slightly bent the top of the frame. I had asked if she was all right, and she had immediately looked down toward her feet and mumbled something about her newborn strength. I couldn't help but hope, though, that maybe there was more to it than that.

I had spent part of our time together the previous morning in the same fashion I spent most of my time alone, going over all of the events of the past few weeks in my mind. For the most part, we seemed to have found that comfortable place we used to share, where words weren't necessary, where just being in each other's presence was enough. Sometimes I could even forget that I had left and we had been apart and miserable without each other. Our conversations were beginning to flow as easily as they had the previous summer, and the rift that I had created seemed to be healing. Maybe, if given enough time, we might have another chance at a life together, because there have been moments when I felt strongly that she wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her. And each time we were together, I wished that the moments didn't have to end. That morning had been no different.

It would have been rude, however, to not return to the house and greet our friends upon their arrival from their trip to Scotland. Carlisle had told me quite some time ago that Carmen and Elezear had purchased a small uninhabited island named Taransay, two miles across the Sound from the much larger, and therefore populated, island of Harris. Recently utilized in one of those ridiculous "Survivor" type reality shows, it was the perfect locale for a getaway. The living accommodations were new, courtesy of the production crew who left them in place when the show had ended, and there was an availability of wildlife that wasn't plentiful in variety but was abundant in quantity. Elezear had learned that many of the local farmers would bring their livestock - sheep, cows, and other grazing animals - across the Sound at low tide for them to graze freely, and would return for them the next day. Of course, those same farmers often didn't realize that they returned to Harris with fewer beasts each visit. Carmen and Elezear, along with Tanya, Kate, and Irina, had been in Taransay for a few months now, preferring the salty sea air to being land-locked in the frozen tundra that was Alaska in the winter months.

Carmen had fallen in love with the lush green of the isles many years ago and had even professed a certain fondness for the accents of the locals. She had a kind and gentle nature about her, much like Esme's personality, and I enjoyed hearing her speak of their travels. Each tale was full of descriptive passages and narrative, always leaving the listener feeling as if they had been on the journey themselves. She was an animated storyteller, often standing and gesticulating during her favorite sections. Her eyes would light with excitement, and her long black hair of curls and waves would bounce slightly in time with the movement of her arms.

Elezear, her husband, reminded me of Carlisle in some ways, but was very different from him in others. His brown hair was kept long, to his shoulders, just as the style had been when he had changed over 300 years prior. Being of Spanish decent, I could easily picture him as a Matador in Barcelona, tall and muscular, in the traditional outfit of black, white and red, facing down a monstrous bull. He had been slightly offended the first time I had asked him if he had ever been one himself. Fiercely proud of his heritage, his dark eyes had flashed with indignation, as he explained how he was not a fan of the stereotypes that others tried to fit him into. He was just as philosophical as Carlisle could be, and discussions with him were always very educating, but he also had strong views that he would not deviate from. While Carlisle was open to discussion and came to his decisions after careful reflection, Elezear often arrived at a conclusion quickly, almost never able to be swayed from that decision. He was a man of strong convictions and strong opinions; a quick-tempered Spaniard to the core, Carmen had been known to call him in jest.

Irina and Kate, like Tanya, had also been vampires for over 1,000 years, yet all three were as different as night and day. Tanya was very tall, just shy of six feet, and willowy, with straight strawberry blond hair that fell to the middle of her back, which she often styled into a sleek chignon, to avoid the extreme tangles that could occur when running. She was inordinately beautiful, but I also found her to be cold, in attitude more than actual temperature. There was no warmth in her expression, no light in her eyes, and her smiles never appeared to be genuine to me, as if she were calculating her next move, keeping her prey from being able to ascertain her true intentions. Life held no more adventure for Tanya, after living through so many centuries. She had a jaded quality to her personality, and focused on anything new in her environment that she felt could bring her some much needed entertainment. But she did have a certain fondness for my sisters, and would brighten noticeably while in their presence.

Kate and Irina were extremely different from their sister. Kate was a bit shorter than Tanya, more voluptuous, with dark brown wavy hair that fell just below her shoulders. She loved to work with her hands, anything from painting and pottery to landscaping and gardening. Kate was the more introverted of the three, content in her activities, and was often found to be the voice of reason when the random disagreement would arise, her soft spoken voice able to quell any loudly arguing voices.

Irina was the same height as Kate though with a smaller build, and thick blond hair that rested on her shoulders. With the exception of their height and hair color, I couldn't help but think of Irina as Alice's double. They were both energetic, interested in the latest fashions, and loved to get involved in the lives of their siblings. Though where Alice would see every project through to its fruition, Irina was forever skipping from one interest to the next, one fad to the next, impulsively starting a new project and leaving it unfinished just as quickly. Kate, whose fastidious nature couldn't bear to see work left incomplete, was often left to finish many of these projects.

I missed our friends, and the realization of that fact surprised me. Over the past decades, we had spent a great deal of time together, enjoying each other's company. The last time I had seen them, however, was not a pleasant experience, and one I was hesitant to think on, as it coincided with the weakest moment I had experienced in an extremely long time. I had fled here, to Denali, the winter previous, when I had escaped our home in Forks upon Bella's arrival in school. I could still vividly remember the burning thirst in my throat the first moment I had breathed in her heady scent, the sound of her heart beating as she sat next to me in biology class, the shameful way I had mentally plotted the deaths of the 25 or so others in the room along with her own demise. I had fled here, to our friends' wintry refuge, to get away from the temptation of Bella where I could determine my next course of action, the course that would dictate the outcome of both of our lives.

Each of our Denali friends had spoken with me about my experience. They told me their stories, of when they had fought their own temptations, how difficult it had been for them, how powerful the draw of the blood had been, and how incredibly strong they felt I was for being able to resist causing Bella any harm, not only in the moment the desire struck, but for the hours I remained that close to her. I relayed to them how we sat in such close proximity to one another, at the same lab table, in that biology class for an hour, and the awestruck looks on their faces surprised me. I heard their thoughts, as more than one had proclaimed themselves to have been weak and powerless in the face of much smaller challenges. One of them had even compared my 'self-control' to that of Carlisle, a comparison I hadn't felt I deserved. I was humbled by their thoughts, my spirit lifted by their comments, and I had begun to wonder if perhaps I could continue to resist the attraction I had to her blood, and could return to my own family. Four of our friends supported my decision to return to Forks, one did not.

Tanya had wanted me to stay with her in Denali. Her thoughts had been much too quiet since I had arrived, and at first I had thought that perhaps she had grown tired of her game, tired of trying to entice me into her bed, or perhaps was being considerate of my emotional state. Most of the time, only I, through her thoughts, knew her intentions. She would speak to me in her mind, inviting me to her bed, offering to show me the pleasures of the body. Her thoughts were often accompanied by a subtle wink or a slight change in the tilt of her smile, facial changes that would seem innocent and friendly by the members of her family, but were meant to appear suggestive and tantalizing to me. I had always found a way to ignore her train of thought, either focusing on another conversation or simply leaving the room. This time had been different.

This time, Tanya had cornered me outside of the house and had asked me verbally to stay with her. Having never been this forward with me before, I was caught off guard by her advance. She had stepped close, wrapped her arms around my neck, and tried to pull my head down, attempting to find my lips with hers. Images were flooding into my mind, her thoughts of us lying entwined in her bed, our limbs clutching each other in an erotic embrace. I swiftly pulled my head back, lightly grasped her hands to untwine them from behind my head, and once free, stepped far away from her. Politely, yet firmly, I told her that I was not interested in her in that way, and that I would appreciate it if she refrained from engaging in similar behavior with me again. I left Denali the next day to return to Forks.

I hadn't spoken with any of them since that trip, and I was looking forward to spending time with them with a much lighter frame of mind. I was anxious to introduce them all to Bella; curious to see their reaction to her as an individual, but also as the person who caused my flight to their doorstep almost 18 months ago. I hoped they would all love her and accept her as much as my family did, and tried to convince myself that they would. A part of me remained wary of Tanya, however, unsure if she would attempt a repeat performance.

I had been under the impression that all five of our Denali friends would be in attendance to meet Bella and was surprised to hear the thoughts of only one inquiring as to our whereabouts as I pulled up in the driveway. Tanya was conversing with our family, and I could hear Alice's thoughts, trying to sway Tanya from the subject of Bella and me. I knew that couldn't be good, and tensed up before I could stop myself. Of course, Bella had noticed my reaction right away, and I was sure she knew I had been hiding something from her. But how could I explain to her, without everyone overhearing from inside the house, that Tanya was already questioning who Bella was and what interest she held for me? How could I look Bella in the eyes and tell her that Tanya's thoughts were in opposition to her friendly banter with my family, that while she might appear friendly on the outside, inside she was dissecting our friendship and relationship?

So I took the only option I could, and told her that nothing was wrong. Looking at Bella in that moment, I could see that she knew I was lying to her, and that pained me more than I had thought it would. I never wanted to lie to her, or hurt her, and though I didn't know how I would accomplish it, my resolve was strengthened to continue to protect her, no matter where our lives would take us.

"Edward! Come on, enough of this, get out here!" Emmett bellowed from downstairs.

"What?"

"You've had enough time to brood over whatever is on your mind," Jasper stated calmly, yet forcefully. "Come on down before the girls get home." I debated for a moment whether to stay, or to get up and give in to them. "Edward, it would be better to get this off your chest before everyone arrives, wouldn't you agree?" As much as I hated to admit it, Jasper was right.

I pulled myself off of my bed, where I had been lying down, and walked across the room to lower the volume on the stereo.

"Come on up."

Yes, Jasper was right. I needed to shake this feeling that had settled over me, but I wasn't ready to leave my room yet. I could hear Emmett grumbling softly as he and Jasper swiftly climbed the stairs. Apparently, his idea of getting my mind off of recent events was to challenge me to a game of Halo 2, believing me to be an easy opponent, since he had yet to beat Jasper. Emmett would never realize that he could probably beat all of us together, if he could just control his outbursts while he was playing. It was when he became overly excited, or overly confident, that he made the mistakes that would always lead to his ultimate downfall.

Jasper entered my room first, Emmett following close behind. They glanced around quickly, looking for the sofa, which was now located against the opposite wall from where it used to be. Jasper looked at me, questioning its changed placement.

"I just like it there now." He raised his eyebrows at my vague, but defensive sounding reply.

'_Her bed is on the opposite side of that wall, isn't it?'_

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've never seen." I was fairly certain I was correct in my estimation of Bella's furniture placement, as I would occasionally listen to the calm rhythm of her breathing as she lay down to read.

"Seen what?" Emmett looked between the two of us; aware he was outside the conversation. "I wish you wouldn't do that. You know it's rude."

"I'm sorry, Emmett. So, what's on your minds?" I tried to lighten my tone of voice in an attempt to deflect their questions.

"As if _you_ didn't already know." Jasper smiled at our familiar banter. When was the last time we'd used these phrases? I couldn't remember. "I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that the reason you've holed yourself up in your room listening to - " he reached down for the CD cases, "… Metallica's 'Black Album' is that Tanya got under your skin again. Correct?" I hesitated, unsure of how much I wanted to discuss with my brothers, until I acknowledged that the two of them being there already confirmed what they knew to be true. I nodded yes. "Are you done over-analyzing it all?"

"Over-analyzing it all? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Edward," Emmett said exasperatedly, "we've known you long enough to know what you're doing. Tanya said something to upset you, so now you're up here trying to forget, but without a distraction, you're focusing on it more than you should. She's not worth your time or your aggravation, and you know it. Why can't you just ignore her already?"

I hadn't thought that he would be the one to adequately sum up what I'd been going through the last few hours. Sometimes Emmett's insights and straightforward manner caught me off guard. Knowing that Tanya would be here in the house again had me on edge. She had upset me yesterday, and it hadn't just been her suggestive thoughts that caused the rush of indignation through every cell in my body, but I wasn't sure if discussing my feelings on the subject with my brothers would be a good idea at the moment.

"You requested I come downstairs?" I directed the inquiry to Jasper, hoping to distract Emmett from the present course of the conversation.

"We need your help moving the couches. Esme wants the two larger pieces in the game room to be moved to the great room, so we can all sit more comfortably."

"And you need me why?" They could handle moving the two pieces very easily without me.

"You get to be the eyes in the back of our heads, so we don't knock anything over," Jasper smirked as his eyes darted in Emmett's direction.

"Uugghh, are you going to let that go? Ever? It was what? 8 years ago? So I knocked over her curio cabinet, it's not like I did it on purpose!" Emmett's face showed his annoyance, as well as a small amount of child-like mischief. Sometimes I did wonder exactly how much of that 'accident' had been accidental.

"True," Jasper replied, his eyes still sparkling with the laugh he was trying to suppress, "but you'd also made no attempt to hide your displeasure in the display either."

"They were snow globes! Who collects snow globes to display in Alaska? And some of them didn't even make sense! Who's idea _was_ it to make a snow globe from Orlando Florida? It doesn't even snow in Florida! Either way, I already told Esme I'd be careful. Lets get this over with."

Emmett left my room and proceeded to the game room, the volume of his minor rant only softening with the distance. I never really knew why he had such an aversion to snow globes, but the subject was always a great way to distract him from whatever was on his mind. We'd been able to employ this tactic with him a few other times over the years; we just had to be careful not to bring it up too often.

Jasper and I followed Emmett quietly, chuckling as his comments continued.

"Effective distraction technique, Edward." Jasper remained looking forward as we walked. He was waiting to see if I would respond, and I was willing to let him wait.

The three of us moved the furniture per Esme's request, and then sat down, awaiting the arrival of our guests. The comfortable silence lasted maybe 10 seconds.

"Edward, I think you need to know that Bella's confused by your reactions, and the more you hide and keep things inside, the more she'll try to answer her questions herself." Emmett looked at me pointedly. "You know I love you both, but you also both tend to go with worst case scenario when you don't have all the facts. I'd hate to see either of you suffering through any misconceptions brought about just because Tanya's around. She's our friend, and all, but she knows your buttons, little brother, and she'll press them just to get a rise out of you. Now Bella, she's not quite as easy to read when you first meet her, but with enough time, Tanya'll figure her out, too."

"What do you want me to say, Emmett? I can't very well tell Tanya to leave Bella alone; she hasn't done anything to her. All Tanya's done so far is annoy me." I took a moment to glance around and listen for other voices in the house. "Where is Bella, anyway?"

"They've all gone out so that Bella could hunt before everyone arrives, just in case she'd need time for a quick wardrobe change when they get back. Alice's orders. She wants Bella's first 'official' presentation to be perfect." I could tell that Jasper was trying not to roll his eyes as he said this. "But you should know, Bella's been asking questions about Tanya and your relationship with her."

"I've never had a relationship with her!" My tone was quiet, but stern. Bella thought Tanya and I shared a past? She knew I had never loved anyone before her. Hadn't she believed that? Or did my lie to her in September, when I left her behind, change more than I thought it had? Did she think everything I'd ever said had been a lie?

"He didn't mean _that_ kind of relationship. Well, sort of, umm - " Emmett looked uncomfortable and turned to Jasper, with a look in his eyes that showed he was trying to help.

"What we mean is that Bella was asking about Tanya – how long we've all known her, what she's like, those sorts of questions. But," he glanced away nervously, "we've all known Bella for a while, the way she thinks, and we got the impression she was dancing around the subject, trying to see if maybe you and Tanya were in a relationship now."

I stared at them incredulously. Bella thought I was interested in Tanya? How could she have come to that conclusion?

"How could she think something like that?" I heard the slight crack in my voice, and knew my brothers heard it, too. If there had been any doubt as to what my feelings for Bella were before now, there couldn't be any longer.

Emmett leaned back on the couch, taking up a more relaxed posture and sighed. "Well, you have been acting funny since Tanya arrived. You walked in yesterday stiff as a board, didn't say much, then practically flew upstairs after mentioning that you had to change your clothes. By the way, you might want to make sure you actually _are_ wet before you use that excuse again. And since then, you've been spending your time alone listening to who knows what in your room." He paused a moment. "I could go a long while before I have to listen to either "Nothing Else Matters" or "Somewhere I Belong" again. You have no idea how badly I want to go in and disconnect that 'repeat' button on your stereo." He turned his head in my direction, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, a chuckle escaping him. "Ha, oh yeah, that's right, you DO know!"

Jasper rolled his eyes at Emmett. "Way to be supportive." He turned to me. "Edward, you haven't been acting yourself the last 24 hours or so. All of which is a major departure from the way you've been doting on Bella over the last few weeks. She has become very accustomed to your presence, and now, each time you've been near her, you've left the room. Put yourself in her shoes – what would you think? What would you think is causing the change?"

Hearing the description of my behavior from my brothers, I could see how Bella could possibly be misinterpreting my feelings towards Tanya. Once again, I was keeping things to myself, not wanting to burden her with the truth, or the consequences of that truth, rather than being open and honest with her about the situation. I had done this before - come to my own conclusions regarding situations that affected both of us and acted upon them, with disastrous results. I couldn't make the same mistakes again. I would have to tell Bella about Tanya, without holding anything back, if only to dispel the misconception that she seemed to be entertaining.

"What was she thinking this time, anyway? Same as before?" Emmett's inquiry about Tanya pulled me back to the present discussion.

"For the most part, yes."

"For the most part?" Emmett had pulled himself up, no longer lounging on the couch, engaged in the conversation again.

"Before we got out of the Jeep, her thoughts were pretty much centered on how attractive she feels we all are. 'The handsome Cullen men,' she'd called us. You two must have joined them at that point, for that's when she inquired about me. With her query came her recollection of her advancement on me last year, though this time, her memory deviated from the truth and went into pure fiction – how she had wanted it to proceed, rather than what had actually happened. Suffice to say, she has quite the imagination. She thinks very highly of herself and enjoys her men to be subservient." I closed my eyes for a moment, shuddering at the explicit image that Tanya had conjured up of her and I in a compromising position. I shook my head, as if the act would clear away the offensive thoughts. I opened my eyes when I caught on to Emmett's train of thought. "Emmett, please, get it under control?" The last thing I needed in my head was Emmett's visual of Tanya's desires.

Emmett looked abashed and apologized.

"You said for the most part. What else was there?" Jasper was truly curious.

"When Bella and I entered the house and proceeded into the kitchen, Tanya was there. She took one look at Bella, and …" I took a deep breath. Putting these thoughts into words was harder than having to hear them replayed in my mind. Verbalizing them gave them weight, gave them power I didn't want them to have, or Tanya to have. But my brothers did deserve to know what was bothering me.

"And?" Emmett was sitting on the edge the couch now, his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, so he wouldn't miss a moment of the story.

"Though she was polite and friendly when speaking to Bella, Tanya's thoughts were very opposite. I couldn't believe what she was thinking. How plain Bella looks, unremarkable she called her." I scoffed at the absurdity of it all. "Tanya commented on everything from the dullness of her hair, to her height, to the flat tone of her voice. She then proceeded to let me know how she felt that I deserved someone better than Bella, someone infinitely more beautiful and smart – referring to herself, of course. Tanya 'hoped' I wasn't going to 'waste my time with such a mousy little girl' and thought I had better sense than that."

I debated whether or not to continue, feeling that I had said enough. But it felt good to get it all out, as if the knowledge of her clandestine thoughts and feelings were caustic to my very existence, and releasing the information was the salve that would ultimately ease the pain. Jasper and Emmett appeared mildly surprised at Tanya's comments. By not being able to hear her uncensored thoughts as I could, neither was aware of just how judgmental and opinionated she truly could be.

"Bella was standing beside me and my arm was around her waist, and I'm not sure if it was conscious or not, but I grasped her tighter and pulled her closer to me. Tanya caught that, and the tone of her internal voice changed. When she was ticking off her list of Bella's flaws, she sounded confused or perhaps amused, trying to figure out what it was that I saw in Bella. After I pulled her closer, the tone of her thoughts changed. 'Oh, is that what she is? A possession, maybe, like a new toy? Is that what you're fascinated by? If you're looking to be fascinated, I could show you things she could never dream of.' I'd heard enough of her nonsense by that point, and excused myself."

"Wow, standing there, watching the conversation, I had no idea any of that was going through her head. I mean, her face didn't show any of that. Who knew she was that good of an actress? But why didn't you just set Tanya straight? Why let her get away with it?" Emmett inquired.

"I wasn't about to let Bella know what Tanya was thinking. That would have upset her greatly, and it would have put Tanya on the defensive in front of the whole family. It would have been her word against mine." I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the couch, my hand involuntarily reaching toward my face, my fingers grasping the bridge of my nose.

Jasper contemplated what I said. It did make sense. If I had confronted Tanya in front of the others, Bella would have been upset and embarrassed, and the witnesses would have been uncomfortable. My sisters had a good relationship with Tanya and I didn't want to jeopardize that by exposing her petty side.

"What are you going to do?" Emmett asked.

I looked up at him, shaking my head lightly side to side. "I have no idea."

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Esme, Rosalie, Alice and I spent much of the morning and the afternoon together taking in some of the sights near the house. Our conversations were so free and easy, though I spent much of my time listening or laughing. Alice had a vision before we left the house, which prompted her to suggest to Esme that Jasper and Emmett request Edward's help in rearranging the furniture before the guests arrived later on. When Esme asked what Alice had seen, she just smirked and said, "Remember the cabinet?" Esme's faced changed instantaneously to one of panic, then determination before she fled from the room, only to return moments later.

"Jasper said he'd handle it. Thankfully. I do NOT want a repeat of that incident."

I was curious to know what they were talking about, but the look on Esme's face kept me from inquiring further. She looked perturbed, and a bit annoyed. I decided to wait until she looked more receptive to the question.

Once we'd been out for a few hours, I asked Alice quietly about the cabinet. I was trying to keep quiet so that Esme wouldn't hear me. Alice's loud burst of laughter ruined that plan, however.

"You've never heard that story, have you? It's a good one, too! Esme, would you care to do the honors?"

"No, thank you, Alice. I'm afraid I would have difficulty making it sound as entertaining as I'm sure you can." Esme smiled sweetly, but there was still something beneath it I couldn't quite make out. She seemed a bit sad.

"Well, about eight years ago, Esme wanted to change around the furniture in the house after she repainted some of the rooms. So she asked the boys to all pitch in and help move the couches. Emmett stood up, said 'I'll get it for you, mom' and picked up the nearest loveseat. Esme suggested he get one of the others to help him. Well, Emmett got a little upset at the thought that he couldn't handle it himself, so against her better judgment, she let him handle it alone. She told him what she wanted moved and where it should go, then left the room."

"I realize now I shouldn't have, but I'm not sure my presence would have changed anything," Esme interjected.

"Actually, Emmett was doing a fine job of it all. And he was enjoying himself. Sometimes after you've been cooped up here for a while, you'll start to search for new ways to entertain yourself," Rosalie joined in.

She had been making it a point to spend more time with me over the past few weeks, and we were becoming closer than I thought we could. While I still felt badly about the argument we'd had, I could appreciate now that it had a better outcome than I'd imagined it could have. Her left arm was entwined with my right, while Alice mirrored the position on my left.

While I was enjoying the closeness I was experiencing with all of my new family, a part of me was concerned over Edward's recent distant behavior. I'd been trying to figure out if I had done anything to upset him, but I didn't think I was the cause. He'd started acting odd when Tanya had arrived, and I surmised that she had affected him in a way that he hadn't let on about before. Despite what Esme had said yesterday, I wondered if perhaps Edward did want to pursue Tanya, but felt uncomfortable about it with me here – the reminder of his past flirtation with the human girl. I had decided that when we returned to the house, I'd find him and give him my blessing. Who was I to stand in the way of his chance at happiness with her?

"So Emmett was flexing his muscles and playing it up," Rosalie continued the story, "you know, kind of like the body-builders do on TV? And he picks up the loveseat with one hand and then sort of tosses it to catch it in the other. But, he overshot the target and before he could catch it, the end of the sofa had connected with the corner of Esme's curio cabinet, which had been full of her snow globes. You should have heard the noise it made – all the glass and plastic crashing to the ground! And the mess it made! You have no idea how hard it is to clean up all the glitter and whatever else it is that they put into those things. It was stuck to the floors, the walls, everywhere. We were finding bits of glitter and whatnot for weeks!" Both Rosalie and Alice started to laugh at the memory, and I joined in as best I could.

The rest of the afternoon had continued on in the same fashion, with one of the girls starting a story, and the others interjecting their own recollections of the event. Each story had us all laughing, and I was thankful for their reappearance in my life. I shuddered to think where I would be now if it hadn't been for Alice's vision of me that day in the meadow. I looked at each of my friends and felt that overwhelming sense of acceptance make its way through me. I had been accepted into their family, as I always wanted to be.

I couldn't help but wonder, though, where my place in this family would be if and when Edward and Tanya moved forward in their relationship. Tanya had been pleasant enough to me when we met yesterday, but there was something about her that didn't sit well with me. She was hiding something, and though I couldn't be sure, I was fairly certain she didn't think very highly of me. I would work to be friendly to her, if it would make Edward happy. Though it would pain me to see them together, I would do anything to ensure his happiness. Even if it meant he wouldn't be with me.

I had fallen out of the conversation, lost in my own thoughts, when I felt Alice tug on my arm.

"Hello! Earth to Bella!"

"Sorry, Alice, just dozed off for a moment."

She looked at me with a confused look on her face. "Bella, we can't sleep," she said, matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that, it was a figure of speech. I just meant I was lost in thought."

She grinned at me. "You had me worried there for a minute. I'd been talking to you for a while and you hadn't said anything. I thought something was wrong."

"No, not at all. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"That's okay. What were you thinking about?" Alice watched me, waiting for my answer, and I was glad that she wasn't the mind reader in the family.

"Anything interesting?" Rosalie joined in.

"Everything okay, Bella?" The girls' inquiry had piqued Esme's interest. They were all watching me now, eager to know what had me so preoccupied.

I was saved from answering however, by the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling from a short distance away.

"Rosalie! Alice! Is that you?"

A split second later, a body shot out of the nearby woods and right into the girls, creating such a loud cracking noise the reverberations echoed off the mountains. I watched as Rose and Alice embraced the newcomer with warmth and exuberance. This was obviously one of the members of Tanya's family. I recalled the conversations we'd shared last night, and from the description, this had to be Irina. My guess was just as quickly confirmed, as the three girls spoke with each other quickly, statements of how much they missed each other, and how much there was to catch up on.

Esme and I stood aside, watching the reunion of the friends in amusement, as three others joined us. Tanya was easy to spot as she approached, a full head taller than the rest in her party. She stared at me for a moment, before her look altered to a wide, friendly smile. The other two, a man and a woman, were holding hands tightly, and I surmised that they were Carmen and Elezear.

The three girls disentangled themselves from one another and joined our group and we continued our way back to the house, everyone welcoming each other and making a point to introduce me to each individual. Irina hugged me just as warmly as she did Rosalie and Alice and I noticed that it didn't seem awkward. I could almost sense the same feeling I'd had upon meeting Alice for the first time; the feeling that we could be good friends, if we had the opportunity, and the thought brightened me inside. Carmen and Elezear seemed very friendly, warm and welcoming, and I looked forward to getting to know them better, as well.

I couldn't help but be thankful that, on first impression, not everyone had me as unsettled as Tanya did. I hoped that the sense of unease I felt around her would dissipate as we got to know each other. Perhaps she felt I was a threat to her relationship with Edward? Or perhaps she was just naturally a distrustful person until she had the opportunity to know someone better? I couldn't be sure. The Cullen's all thought very highly of her and her family, however, and I was determined to do what I could to make sure that there wouldn't be tension between us.

I hadn't realized at first that there was still one more to join our group, until Esme inquired after Kate's well being.

"Oh, thank you for asking, Esme, but Kate is quite fine actually. We have a new friend staying with us, and you know how Kate can be. She has taken it upon herself to ensure that all the accommodations and arrangements are just so. Once they have completed the tour of the area, they will be right along. I don't think they'll be more than an hour or so after us."

The eight of us completed the trek back to the house in record time. As we entered, I saw Edward, Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle lined up to welcome their guests into their home. I watched for a moment, before quietly slipping away to my room. I had been careful while hunting to not spoil my clothes - I had been getting better at that lately - but just in case, I wanted to change into a clean outfit. I was already feeling embarrassed enough through the introductions, and as Esme and Carmen had pointed out, they weren't over yet. I pulled a beautiful blue sweater from my closet, contemplated it for a moment, and then placed it back on its hanger. It was the very shade of blue that Edward had professed to be his favorite, and while I loved the way it looked on me, I didn't want him to think I was trying to get his attention tonight. I opted instead for a pale yellow sweater and a comfortable pair of jeans. As I turned away with my selections in hand, Alice came racing through the door, shutting it quickly behind her.

"Not the yellow, Bella, not until the red is completely gone from your eyes. Until then, consider it off limits. This is the one you're wearing tonight. No arguments." She had gone and pulled out the exact sweater I had just decided against.

"Alice," I started, but she held up her hand.

"I said, no arguments. I've already seen it, Bella. This is what you're wearing. Trust me!"

Against my better judgment, I did what she asked and put on the blue sweater, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I passed, and had to admit that Alice, as usual, was right. I did like the way the sweater looked on me. The deep, rich color of the sweater and the dark brown of my hair complimented my pale skin, whereas the yellow would have made me look washed out and anemic, and I couldn't deny that it fit me very nicely. Alice's insistence on picking and choosing my entire wardrobe had annoyed me at first, but I was becoming more comfortable in the different styles and textures she had purchased.

We started downstairs, and I noticed a certain amount of triumph in her eyes as we returned to the great room. Just what had she seen earlier? I wanted to ask, but decided against it. I'd rather let things play out in their normal course, than be on edge all evening, waiting for expected things to happen, worrying that certain words or actions could change everything. It would be too stressful during what I was sure was going to be an already stressful occasion.

I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be Alice. Her abilities still amazed me - being able to see glimpses of the future, the good and the bad, sometimes multiple outcomes of the same situation; knowing that sometimes, she couldn't or shouldn't intervene, even if she wanted to; and to always have that calm look on her face and her upbeat disposition. I didn't think I would be able to handle the complexity of her gift with such poise. Surely I would have gone mad.

I'd been watching her again as we crossed the foyer, the graceful way she moved, the confidence in her stride, and found her watching me as well.

"What is it, Bella?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "Nothing, Alice. I was just thinking."

"You've been doing that a lot today. Come here a moment." She pulled me into one of the side rooms on the first floor, Carlisle's office. I'd only been in here once before, and even then only for a moment. The dark mahogany furniture and the mostly leather bound books gave the room a very scholarly feeling, as if it belonged to a college professor.

"Bella, are you okay?" She held my hands tightly. "You just seem preoccupied today. Are you nervous?"

"Maybe, just a little. I've just become so comfortable with all of us here together, that any change is going to make me a bit unsteady. Don't worry, I'll be fine." I smiled wide, trying to convey to her that I was being genuine in my assessment. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

She returned my smile, then leaned in to hug me quickly. "They'll all love you, Bella, I'm sure of it! Come on, everyone's waiting." She tugged my hand and we were on our way to the great room.

Everyone was already seated in the sofas, loveseats and armchairs that had been placed into a circle in the larger of the two living rooms in the house. Carlisle and Esme were together on one loveseat against the far wall. On their right, Jasper sat alone in a large armchair, his arms held out, as Alice left my side to join him, seating herself lightly on his lap. On their left, another loveseat held Edward with Tanya by his side, her body angled slightly toward him, her knee resting against his. Directly across from Carlisle and Esme was another loveseat for Carmen and Elezear. Emmett, Rosalie, and Irina were in a large sofa across from Jasper and Alice. And one large sofa remained, across from Edward and Tanya, unoccupied.

I glanced around once more, hoping to find another place to sit, and realized that I would have to take the only spot available, directly across from Edward. I had asked 'what was the worst that could happen'. Apparently, this was it. I'd have to watch them all evening. While I would normally have thrilled at the ability to watch Edward directly in front of me without interruption, I cringed at the thought of having to watch him with Tanya.

Conversations were already in progress when Alice and I had rejoined the group, some talking about Cornell and Ithaca, some talking about Taransay, and some were discussing the upcoming fashion shows. I waited for an opening, but hadn't been able to find a way to politely join in, so I sat quietly, watching everyone's interactions and observing these new friends up close for the first time. I watched their facial expressions, marveled at their style of dress, listened to the slight Spanish accents that Carmen and Elezear hadn't completely lost, much like the slight British accent I loved to hear when Carlisle spoke. I watched anything I could to keep my eyes off of them.

It was more painful than I would have guessed it would be, to see Tanya angled into Edward in such an intimate way. The way she leaned in closer to him to say something in his ear caused my jaw to clench; watching her place her hand on his forearm as she spoke had my hands balling into fists. I looked away from them and caught Rosalie's eye. She was watching me with a worried look on her face, and I could only imagine the way I looked at the moment. I smiled at her, releasing the tension in my face to reassure her that everything was okay, and shook my hands slightly, entwining my fingers in my lap to keep from tensing them up again.

I realized too late that I would have to learn how to keep my feelings under control better. Rosalie must have been able to see every emotion I was experiencing as it crossed my features, and I couldn't let that happen again. The jealousy that was coursing through me would have to remain hidden. He was my friend, and as my friend, I would support him as best I could in whatever would make him happy. I hoped Rose wasn't thinking about what she had seen in me; otherwise, Edward would catch her thoughts, and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

I chanced a quick glance in his direction, hoping just this once that he would be focusing on his conversation and instead found him staring back at me. I wanted to look away, embarrassed to have been caught watching, but there was something in his gaze, as if he were pleading with me to understand. I stared back at him for a moment, trying to tell him that I did understand, and then looked away, using what felt like every ounce of strength I possessed. He must have heard Rosalie's thoughts, that she was worried about how I was handling seeing them together, and he must have felt badly that I was uncomfortable. That would explain why he was watching me, rather than her.

I heard the sudden knock on the door at the same moment that Alice sprinted across the house to greet the last two guests to the party. She threw the door open and grabbed a beautiful woman into her arms, hugging her tightly.

"Kate! You're here! We've been waiting for you; we have so much to talk about! Come in!"

Kate stepped across the threshold, and lightly tossed her hair from in front of her face. The wind must have picked up since we were out earlier and blown her hair into a tangled disarray. The light toss and a few strokes with her fingers and it was picture perfect. I envied the ease she displayed in that simple action. I could spend twenty minutes in front of the mirror and could never come as close to perfection as she just had in a few short seconds.

My thoughts stopped there as I watched a young man enter the foyer as Alice closed the door behind them. The first thing I noticed was his grin. Perfect bright teeth in a wide, open smile. His smile was dazzling, engaging, and so natural. I blinked a few times, needing to clear my head, so that I wasn't focused only on his face. His hair, a mixture of light browns with blond highlights, slightly windblown as Kate's was, was cropped shorter in the back, slightly longer on top. He was wearing a maroon shirt that brought out the crimson in his newborn eyes, open at the collar to reveal a simple gold chain, and black dress pants. From across the house, I could see the confident bearing and the sense of belonging he felt in Kate's presence, but something was off. I looked again, searching for something I missed the first time, some clue as to what was leaving me unsettled.

As I watched Kate introduce the stranger to Alice, he turned to survey his surroundings, his eyes taking in the twelve of us waiting in the great room. As his gaze settled on me, I could feel my stomach clench, like it was coiling with tension and maybe a little fear.

I watched Alice greet the newcomer warmly, as if they'd been friends forever, and I watched as each of the Cullen's were introduced in turn. No one seemed wary, or concerned at having the person in the house. Was I over-reacting? Or were they easily swayed by the attractive face, the good manners and the gentle voice? Or was there really nothing to worry about? I didn't like this, something was wrong. But until I knew more, I'd have to keep this to myself. There would be no sense in raising an alarm if there wasn't a fire. Alice approached me with Kate and her friend, and I fixed a smile onto my face, hoping that any qualms I had were not visible in my expressive eyes.

"Bella, this is my very good friend, Kate, and her new friend, Riley."

* * *

_**AN: No one figured out who the friend was! You didn't see that coming, did you? Guesses included: Jacob, Mike, Victoria, Elvis, Charlie, Phil, Eric, Harry Clearwater, Bigfoot, and Laurent, but he's definitely dead. We're not totally sure about Elvis. **_

_**SO … How do you think Edward is going to react to Kate's new friend? Drop us a line & let us know.**_


	15. Chapter 14 Needs

**_AN: We hope that you all enjoyed the July 4th holiday as much as we did! Now that we're all back from vacation, we give you the next chapter! Enjoy! And thanks for your patience! IMC & TE_**

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

* * *

_**Chapter 14 - Needs**_

_**EPOV**_

We had arranged the couches and chairs into a loose circle earlier in the day, and I took my seat on the loveseat placed under the bay window near the fireplace. I hoped that Bella would be downstairs quickly with Alice, and was hoping she would sit with me. As luck would have it, as soon as she arrived, Tanya claimed the space next to me.

"Mind if I join you, Edward?" '_I promise, I won't bite_.'

I smiled politely to her. "Of course not, Tanya." I was determined to not play games with her tonight.

The conversation was easy and relaxed, for everyone other than me. Large gatherings were especially difficult for me, trying to separate the internal from the external conversations was an unpleasant task. I had gotten pretty good at blocking it all out over the years. Knowing how important it was to Esme, I tried my best to be friendly.

However, my mind was on Bella, wondering why she hadn't joined us, and how she would react to the way Tanya was leaning over to whisper in my ear every now and again. I thought back to what my brothers had told me earlier - that Bella believed Tanya and I were in a relationship. I would clear things up with Bella tonight, it couldn't wait. She needed to know that Tanya and I never were, and never would be, more than friends. But, how much was I willing to say? Was she really ready to know exactly how much I'd been keeping from her?

Just then, Alice pulled Bella into the Great Room. I looked up as they walked in, and my breath caught in my throat. Bella had changed into a new sweater, and the shade of blue took me back in time. Back to a time when all that mattered was that she loved me, and she still believed that I loved her. She always looked particularly lovely in blue, and I wondered for a moment if she had perhaps chosen that sweater with me in mind.

'_What is it, Edward?_' Alice looked at me, her expression smug. I couldn't help but laugh at my sister's devious ways. She always knew exactly what she was doing, this time being no different.

I glanced back at Bella then, and noticed her eyes move quickly away from mine. She took a seat by herself across from me, and it was all I could do to not move quickly to her side. But, I had to be careful. My relationship with Bella, although clearly not where I wanted it to be, was better than I'd hoped. She'd allowed me to spend time with her, and hadn't pushed me away as I had feared. Until I was certain of how she felt, I couldn't push my luck.

The evening began with lots of conversation, everyone was happy to become reacquainted. Tanya attempted to hold my attention by telling me about the piano her family had recently purchased. Every so often, she would place her hand on my arm, or move just a little too close to speak in my ear. If Bella had wondered about our relationship before, I'm sure Tanya's behavior was speaking volumes to her now. I looked in Bella's direction, and saw that she was exchanging a look with Rosalie.

"_Edward, do something, Bella is watching you and Tanya…_" Rosalie thought, though she didn't look in my direction.

As soon as I heard Rose's thoughts, I noticed Bella look blankly in my direction. I needed her to understand that things weren't what they seemed. I spoke silently to her, hoping to convey my thoughts through my eyes. A strangled smile formed on her face, and she looked away. I needed an opportunity to get her out of here, fast.

Just then, I heard a soft knocking on the front door. Alice dashed across the room to welcome Kate and a new friend of hers into the house. As they entered the Great Room, we all stood to greet them. His name was Riley, and he looked to be relatively new to this life, judging from his burgundy irises. I wondered if he shared our feeding habits, surely Kate wouldn't be interested in a mate that wasn't a "vegetarian". I smiled politely as Alice introduced him to me, and his thoughts seemed relatively calm for someone who was being introduced to a large coven of vampires. That is, until he was introduced to Bella.

'… _Bella, she's so beautiful…' _My fists tensed as my heart screamed 'She's mine!' I felt a growl in the pit of my stomach, and I cleared my throat in an effort to conceal it. I felt Bella's eyes on me, her head tilted slightly as if she was confused. I could see that she knew the sound had come from me, and was wondering if something was wrong. No matter what my feelings were, I had no right to claim her. I would have to block his thoughts out before I became irrational.

Kate and Riley took their seats next to Bella, and I internally cringed at having to sit next to Tanya again and allowing her to continue her fun.

"So, Riley, what brings you to Denali?" Esme asked in an effort to start conversation.

"Well, I was heading north from Anchorage before I ran into Kate," Riley smiled easily. "I'm originally from Ontario, just outside of Thunder Bay. I had come to Alaska on vacation about five years ago, on a guided tour where you take the train north from Vancouver into Anchorage, and then you sail back to Vancouver on a cruise ship. I remember how much I loved the trip - the train ride, the forests, and the wildlife. It was so different than the way I grew up; everything was so natural and untouched. It was a great vacation, and I always wanted to come back and explore it all, without the time restrictions."

As Riley continued his story, Tanya and her sisters seemed to be enthralled by his every word. I was incredibly grateful that his presence distracted Tanya enough that she was no longer focused on torturing me. I couldn't help but notice that Bella did not seem quite as impressed as the others. It surprised me that this pleased me so much. She sat back on the sofa, with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. As she listened to what he was saying, I noticed that her eyes narrowed infinitesimally.

I had been hoping that Riley would give us some background on when and how he was changed, and also why he was traveling alone. Many more questions had been working their way through my mind since we had first learned of Kate's new friend yesterday. But, Carlisle had always taught us that it was rude to ask others about such a personal experience. If he wanted to talk about it that would be fine, but we were not to open that topic for him.

I agreed with Carlisle's beliefs, having found it difficult to discuss my own creation at times, however, my curiosity and questions about this new vampire only seemed to be growing. Something seemed not quite right, and I wondered if it was just the fact that his thoughts regarding Bella were more than I could handle.

The conversation shifted from Riley's history to the house in Taransay. Bella seemed to relax some as they told us more about their recent adventures in the British Isles.

"I've always wanted to see the English countryside that inspired Austen and Shakespeare; that would be incredible ..." Bella murmured, not seeming to realize she was speaking aloud.

"Well, you'll have to join us sometime, Bella!" Kate said warmly.

"There are so many places I'd love the chance to visit. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the Swiss Alps, and all the places I probably never would have been able to go when I was human," Riley said.

"It will be a while for me before I can see all those places, I dread going anywhere near civilization." Bella looked down at the floor and twisted her hands nervously in her lap.

"I know what you mean. But, it does get better. In just the past couple of months, my self-control has improved more than I thought possible." Riley said, as he angled his body toward Bella, who seemed to be growing more comfortable in his presence.

"I think when the time comes for you to mingle with humans again, you'll be pleasantly surprised, Bella," Carlisle said with an encouraging smile. "For a newborn vampire, you have outstanding control."

"We've been trying to tell her that!" Alice laughed as she looked down at Jasper's face from his lap.

Bella rolled her eyes, seeming less than thrilled about being the center of attention. "I've never done any real traveling, but when I _can_ go," Bella replied, her eyes peeking back to mine, "I'd love to join you." Her smile was tentative, as if she surprised even herself by agreeing.

As soon as she finished her sentence, an image of Bella and Riley popped into my mind. It was the two of them, alone in the Swiss Alps, Bella's hair shining in the soft light of the sunset, and Riley smiling down to her as he held her in his arms. It took me a minute before I realized this was Riley's ridiculously vivid imagination. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to force this image out of my head.

Of course, this did not escape Alice. She was staring at me with her eyebrows raised.

'_Edward, please… you can't do this any longer. I had a vision of Bella actually joining them because she thinks she'll get in the way of your relationship with Tanya. Don't let this situation get any more out of hand. You and Bella are driving Jasper crazy with your jealousy!'_

Bella was jealous of Tanya? How could this be happening? Everything had been wonderful just two days ago. We had been together watching the sunrise, and she had seemed so sure of herself. I felt we'd been working to close the chasm that had resulted from my ill-fated attempt to keep her out of harms way by keeping her out of my life. Now, she thought that there was something between Tanya and myself, and according to Alice she was jealous over the idea, plus she was entertaining the possibility of traveling the world with another man.

I knew Alice was right; I needed to make things right between us. I nodded slightly at her, letting her know I received her message loud and clear. Her face lit up when she realized what I was about to do. I could not risk losing Bella again. My fears and insecurities would have to be laid on the table now. If Bella would not accept my love once she learned how I had betrayed her love and trust, at least she would know the truth. And, I would never have to wonder again "What if?"

* * *

_**BPOV**_

After getting to know Kate and Riley a little, my suspicions about him began to subside. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He was newborn, though not quite as recent as I was. He told me about his struggles, and it encouraged me when he said that things were starting to become easier for him. I hadn't been given the chance to be around humans again, and I was in no hurry. Even after Carlisle had assured me that I had an uncanny sense of control, I couldn't fight off the fear that I would harm a human. I was definitely not ready to take the risk any time soon.

Throughout the evening, I tried to keep my gaze away from Edward and Tanya, but my eyes were drawn as if by some magnetic force back to where they were seated. Edward looked uncomfortable, and I hoped my staring problem wasn't getting to him.

I noticed that since Kate and Riley's arrival, Edward hadn't said a word. He listened and watched as everyone spoke, but the smiles he interjected didn't reach his eyes. The guilt was tugging at my heart that I was causing his discomfort. I decided to give him a break and excuse myself for the evening.

I stood from the couch, trying to come up with a polite excuse for my exit. Suddenly, Edward stood up from his seat across the room. "Bella, could I have a word with you?" His voice was low and fast, causing the muscles in my stomach to knot with tension.

"Yeah, sure Edward, I was just about to head to my room." I tried to smile at him, but it felt more like a grimace.

We excused ourselves, and I looked at Alice with what was sure to have been a look of dread. To my surprise she smiled and winked at me.

Edward stood at the bottom of the stairwell, and gestured for me to go first. My stomach fluttered with butterflies when I saw he was smiling his crooked grin as I passed him. Did he want to talk in his room or mine? I had been into his bedroom previously, though only to borrow or return his books or CD's, but he hadn't been in mine. This could be awkward. My mind started to race with all the pro's and con's to each option, and I found myself slowing my pace, trying to buy myself time.

'What was I more afraid of? Being alone with him or what he has to say?' The voice in my head spoke my hearts fears, quieting the internal debate that had been escalating as we neared the side-by-side bedrooms. I didn't have an answer for the voice - I was just as nervous about being alone with him as I was about what was on his mind.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to head for my room. He followed closely behind me and closed the door once he entered. He didn't turn right around, but stopped and grabbed the bridge of his nose. I sat at the edge of my bed, trying to keep my face smooth.

I heard him sigh quietly as he turned to address me. He was acting so formally, and I was ridiculously nervous. As he slowly approached me, I patted the bed next to me, trying to appear nonchalant. "Is everything ok, Edward?" I asked as casually as possible.

"Bella," he breathed. "Everything's ok …" He paused, his slowness making me more nervous. He took a moment to survey his surroundings. I watched him turn slowly in place, my curiosity growing. What was he looking for? Did I forget to return something he wanted back? Quickly he crossed the room to the stereo that sat on one of the higher shelves of my bookcase, chose a CD from the stack next to it, and placed it into the player, pressing play and adjusting the controls as he turned back to me. The volume was set loud enough that we could hear each other without difficulty, but definitely louder than was normal for background music.

If it were possible, my nervousness increased as I realized what he was doing. He was trying to block out our conversation from the others still seated in the Great Room. My breathing rapidly increased in reaction to my fears, an old habit from before the change, but one that I was having difficulty controlling.

"There are some things I need to tell you, things I most likely should have told you much sooner."

Oh, no. I turned my face away, letting my hair fall down to cover my face. Even though I had tried to prepare myself dozens of times for this moment, I now felt it was impossible to actually brace myself for the blow he was about to deliver. Why had I agreed to be friends with Edward? I should have known it would come to this. I just wasn't expecting it so soon. Perhaps he was planning on moving in with Tanya's family, surely that wouldn't be so bad. I had to be stronger than this.

"No, Bella, please listen to me." His tone was pleading, and his hand came up to gently tug my shoulder. I couldn't stop myself from trembling under his touch.

I shook my head quickly and raised my eyes to his. His hand did not move from my shoulder. I searched his eyes, trying to understand what he was trying to do to me; it felt like the hole where my heart once beat was tearing me apart. I saw sadness in his eyes that didn't make sense. I couldn't get myself to speak, to ask him why.

"I've made so many mistakes, there have been so many chances to set things right, but I've been too afraid…" His voice trailed off, his eyes breaking my gaze.

"I'm sure that I don't know what you mean, Edward," I whispered.

He lifted his eyes up to mine again, staring hard as if he was looking for something. With his free hand, he took my hand.

"When I came back from South America, so many things had gone wrong for you, and it was entirely my fault. I should have been honest with you then, but I was frightened of what you might say." He paused. "Bella, I can't wait another moment. I love you, I have _always_ loved you. When I left you in Forks, I wanted to let you live the life you were meant to live. I saw the danger I was always putting you in, and I thought you'd be better off without me in your life. And, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I lied. And I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from what I am."

The air escaped my lungs, this conversation was taking a completely different direction than I was expecting. Edward loved me? With my free hand, I traced his hand that held mine, trying to make sure it was really there. I looked back up into his eyes.

"You love…_me_?" I didn't understand, because his words were impossible.

Ever so lightly, his hand moved from my shoulder to move my hair away from my cheek. His breath blew in my face lightly as he brought his face lower to keep my eyes locked on his.

"Of course I love you Bella. You are the only one I'll ever want. I lied, it was a terrible thing to do, but it seemed like the only way to keep you safe at the time. Telling you I didn't want you was the most ridiculous lie I've ever told. But, how could you believe me, after the thousands of times I'd told you I loved you? As if I could ever not love you…" He snorted, as if he had just told a terrible joke.

I shook my head again, trying to wrap my brain around what he was telling me. Edward loved me; he had never stopped loving me. So many of my human memories were fading, but his words in September were still very clear in my mind:

'_You're not good for me, Bella.'_

"It was easy for me to believe you, because deep inside I always knew it didn't make sense for you to love me," I whispered.

"Do you believe me now?" He asked, suspicion in his voice.

"I thought you and Tanya…" I hedged.

"Tanya is a friend. She has never been anything other than a friend to me. My heart belongs to you, Bella." I could see him shake his head, but I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Oh, I see," I replied.

All this time we'd been living in the same house, spending countless hours together, and I told myself he was being kind to me because he felt guilty. Was it possible that I subconsciously knew all along that his love was still there, just below his friendly façade? I thought back to different conversations I'd had with other members of the family. Had they been trying to tell me all along? When Edward had returned from South America, he'd told me he could never had left me if he didn't think I would be able to live a normal, human life; Alice had said much the same thing and she seemed confused when I told her Edward and I were 'friends'; Jasper had tried to tell me Edward was happy to have me back in his life; even Rosalie had pleaded with me that her brother needed me.

"Please tell me what you're thinking…" He urged, his tone frustrated.

"Edward." I whispered his name again and again, until he lifted my chin and forced me to meet his eyes.

"It's OK, Bella. If you don't feel the same, I understand." His voice was calm, but his eyes pierced my soul with his sadness.

I stared at him for a long time before I could speak. Every unrealized dream, every unspoken wish I'd had over the past nine months had been answered - Edward was here, in front of me, and he still loved me. Not only did he love me, but he doubted that I could love him in return. I closed my eyes for a moment, another human memory resurfacing, and the words I had spoken to him then. I hoped they would convey the depth of my feelings to him again as they once did.

"Edward, I love you more than everything else in the world combined. I always have, and I always will."

The moment my mouth uttered the last word, I felt his strong arms encircle me, pulling my body closer softly, and his lips found mine. It took me a moment to recover from the shock before my body reacted to his touch. My hands flew to his face, finally satisfying my desire to memorize every inch of his beautiful features, then reached back to feel the softness of his hair in my fingers. He kissed me softly for a brief moment before releasing my lips to leave a trail of kisses along my jaw line, in much the same way as he had when I had been human and fragile.

When we broke apart, he didn't let me get far, pulling me tightly against his chest. I could feel his lips resting on the top of my head. I sighed, still trying to believe that I was in his arms again. I had a million questions for him, but I couldn't ruin this perfect moment.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he laughed into my hair, kissing me softly.

"I might have an idea," I murmured, thinking of all the times I'd daydreamed of touching his face or feeling his arms around me.

Edward pulled away from me, keeping his hands planted firmly on my shoulders.

"There's so much I've wanted to tell you, it's been killing me. You've lost everything because of me, and I was so worried you'd hate me."

"I could _never_ hate you. You can't always take the blame when things go wrong.

Edward…I know there are things we need to talk about, and we _will_ talk about them." I wrapped my arms around his back, breathing his scent in as I laid my head on his chest. "But, right now, I just want to be here with you like this. Please." I looked up into his eyes, hoping he could see how much I needed him, how I felt at this moment.

"Whatever you say," he chuckled softly as he began to hum my lullaby.


	16. Chapter 15 Revelations

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

* * *

_**Chapter 15 - Revelations**_

_**BPOV**_

Edward's scent was so much stronger than I had remembered, or maybe it was my close proximity to him that was making it seem that way. Whatever it was, I silently wished that I would be able to feel the way I felt at that moment for the rest of my life. His strong arms encircled my waist, and his head rested atop mine. I could feel the slow lift and fall of his chest as he breathed while he hummed the most beautiful musical composition I had ever heard – my lullaby. I had begun to wonder if I would ever feel this sensation again – feeling complete. There was no other way to explain it. The whole time he had been gone, since he left me behind, I had felt that a large part of me was missing, and now it had been returned to its rightful place. He returned my heart to me. I felt dizzy from happiness, and though I was enjoying standing here in his embrace, I knew we needed to talk, and I knew just where I wanted to do that.

I pulled out of his arms slowly, feeling his arms tense up, as if trying to keep me in the embrace, and then with reluctance, he let me go. Looking up at his face, I could see the shifting emotions as he pondered different ideas and thoughts as to what my intentions were. A small smile grew on my face – some things never changed.

"Is anything the matter? Did I do something wrong?" He stood as if bracing for bad news, and I wondered if that was how I had looked when we entered the room a short while ago.

I reached for his left hand with my left, grasping it tightly. "Come with me."

"Where are we going?"

I looked back at him over my shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"Not far."

I led him across the room, walking a half step in front of him, our hands still clasped together behind my back. I stopped at the side of my bed, and turned to him. I reached up to caress his face; still disbelieving he was here with me.

"Here we are."

Still holding onto his left hand, I reached behind me and lifted the comforter from beneath the pillows, pulling the blankets back. I lay down, curling onto my right side, and tugged his hand, inviting him to join me. His eyebrow pulled up in a questioning way, but the crooked smile that graced his face told me he understood what I wanted. Our fingers still entwined, he walked around the bed, and climbed in behind me. I felt him adjust his position, curling up behind me, mimicking my pose, never releasing his grip on me. His left arm reached around with mine, our hands resting on my stomach,. I scooted backwards, not wanting any space between us. There had been more than enough of that lately.

I heard him sigh softly, a sound of contentment and happiness – and a sound I hadn't heard in a very long time. It brought a wistful smile to my face. I was so excited to hear that sound again, but couldn't help but be sorry for the time that was wasted, since he left me in Forks, and even since he had returned. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I let the breath out slowly, trying to calm my nerves. Between the rollercoaster of emotions we'd been on all night, and the closeness of his body against mine, it should have been a losing battle. But I had always felt safest when he had lain with me in Forks, caressing my hair with his fingers; his cool, gentle breath calming me. Being next to him again, I realized how much I had missed this, and how, at that moment, I was feeling the safest than I had in a very long time.

"Hmm, Bella," he whispered. His head was resting against mine, and his arm flexed softly, pulling me even closer. I slowly realized that in all of our time together, he had never been able to do that to me before. Grasping me tightly to him had been forbidden – the pressure could have killed me then, if he hadn't paid attention, or become distracted. I became aware of how tightly he was grasping my fingers within his own. Had he realized how different things were now? Or was it unconscious on his part?

"Yes, Edward?" I replied after a few moments. I was also whispering, hoping that only he could hear me, and that the music still playing in the background would continue to provide us with some semblance of privacy.

"Nothing. I'm so content at the moment; I just wanted to say your name." His mouth was hovering just over my ear, speaking so softly, obviously thinking along the same line I was regarding his family and friends still downstairs. His lips grazed the outer edge of my ear, causing a shiver to run through my body, and my hand grasped his tighter in response. He chuckled.

"Are you cold with me laying so close to you?" I could hear the smile on his face through his words, remembering the many times he had asked me that same question in my room in Forks, and I realized how much I needed to look at him. Quickly, I turned in place, never letting go of his hand, so that we were now face to face. He had lifted his head, resting it in the palm of his hand, so that he was looking down at me. I softly traced the contour of his jaw line with my fingertips, and then lightly caressed his neck, as I reached around to run my fingers through his beautiful bronze hair at the nape of his neck.

"Not even a little bit." I gently pulled his face down to mine, kissing him softly, enjoying how familiar it felt, but also how completely different. His lips felt soft, strong, sensuous – not cold and hard as I remembered, and I knew there would be no more disruption of these moments for the sake of his self-control, or my need to breathe. That was different, but very welcome. The physical reaction that his kisses had on me was very much the same. With each subtle movement of his lips, electrical charges radiated through my entire body, causing my toes twitch in my shoes and leaving me always wanting more. The kiss was full of hope and desire, but still just as chaste as they had always been.

He ended the kiss softly, but reluctantly I could tell, as he leaned in for one more quick peck on the lips, then another, and another. I giggled quietly, overjoyed that he seemed to feel the same as I did – that no matter how much time we spent together, it might never be enough. He pulled back a bit further, taking in my amused expression, a giddy smile on his face.

"Laughing at me?"

"No, laughing with you." He looked perplexed. I leaned my head up toward his ear. "I didn't want you to stop either." I laid my head back on the pillow and sighed again, content to look at him forever.

"That's good. I would hate to think that you found my technique funny." His eyes sparkled, enjoying teasing me.

"Definitely not. You have no idea what your kisses do to me." My voice lowered, the effect he had on me coming through every word. I looked in his face and watched as his eyes grew dark, intense, hungry. I swallowed reflexively. As much as I wanted him to look at me that way, it was too soon.

I broke my gaze away from his and cleared my throat, trying to bring its tone back to normal, and hopefully giving him enough time to find that time-tested self-control he prided himself on. In the few moments I wasn't completely under his spell, I noticed that the house seemed inordinately quiet.

"Edward, are we alone?"

His face was calm now, with a soft smile playing on his lips, his eyes a gorgeous honey colored topaz again.

"Actually, we are."

"Why? Where did they all go?"

"It seems that Alice saw what would happen between us, and she and Esme schemed to get everyone out of the house and over to Tanya's. Something about Esme wanting to see their recent renovations." He chuckled softly. One part of his explanation caught my attention. My mind played the words over a few times, 'what would happen between us'. My eyes went wide with apprehension. Had she seen something happening that I would be eternally embarrassed by? Just how much did Alice see in all of our lives that she kept to herself?

"Bella, what is it?"

"What _exactly_ did Alice see, Edward? What did she see 'happening between us'?"

Edward's face was thoughtful for a brief moment, until understanding flashed in his eyes.

"No, Bella, nothing like that. She just let me know that she saw our conversation going well, and that a bit of privacy for us to discuss a few things would be welcome." He leaned in to whisper in my ear before he kissed the soft area at the base of my jaw line. "As much as I love you, and as much as I've missed holding you, I don't think either of us is ready for _that_ yet." I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and tried to figure out if I was relieved or disappointed. I couldn't be sure, but I was pretty sure it was a mixture of both.

He finished kissing my neck, and then leaned himself back, his head once again resting on his right arm on the pillow. The thumb of his left was tracing circles on the back of mine, his face serene, waiting for me to begin.

I took a deep breath, and looked up into his eyes, searching for the strength that I knew he held for me there. I wasn't sure exactly where to begin. There was so much I needed to know, so many questions that needed answers, so many pieces of the puzzle still to be put into place.

_Why don't you start with 'what took you so long?'_ the voice in my head stated sarcastically, which made me chuckle softly.

"What's so funny?" he asked. I debated for a moment before deciding it was as good an 'ice-breaker' as any.

"There's so much I don't know, so much I want to know, so many questions without answers. I was trying to figure out where to start, when my subconscious suggested I start with 'what took you so long?'. It just sounded funny – like something I would say under different circumstances."

He smiled, and lifted our hands to his lips, laying a soft kiss on my knuckles.

"You're right. That does sound like something you would say. So why don't we start there? What took me so long? Didn't I answer that when we first entered the room earlier?"

"You told me why you left, why you all left – to try to protect me." His eyes clouded over quickly, pained, though I wasn't sure what caused the reaction. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"For as long as I exist, I will never forgive myself for not being there to protect you from _him_." He growled out the pronoun, not even wanting to say Laurent's name in front of me. "I should have been. I should never have left; I should have realized that-" I placed my fingers across his lips, quieting his thoughts before he once again put the world on his shoulders.

"Stop," I said softly. "There is nothing to forgive. I have never once felt that any of what's happened to me was your fault, ever. And I don't want you to, either. Everything in our lives happens for a reason. You once told me that you felt as if you had been waiting all those years for me. Who's to say that Fate or Destiny wasn't intervening to bring us back together? It's true, that if you had stayed, then maybe none of this would have happened. But we can't go back in time. Edward," I took a deep breath, speaking more emphatically and leaning closer to him, "if we're going to try this again," his eyes looked frightened at the word 'try', "then you have to promise me something." I looked at him earnestly, trying to put all the seriousness and conviction into my eyes as I could. I lifted my fingers from his lips, still able to feel their shape on my skin.

"Anything."

"No regrets. No guilt. No 'what if's', no 'could have been's, no 'if only's. We have a chance at a fresh start, something I was convinced we would never have again. I can't say for sure what I did in my life to be lucky enough to have you here in front of me again, but I'm not going to question it. And I don't want you to, either. Neither of us can change the past, but we can learn from it. Please don't blame yourself." I waited a moment for him to say something.

The pained expression had left his face, but he still seemed full of doubt and uncertainty. I knew he wouldn't be able to let go of all of his guilty feelings right away, but I did hope that it would be sooner rather than later.

"Please at least tell me that you'll try," I acquiesced. He nodded.

"Ok, so, as I was saying," I restarted the conversation, purposefully making my tone a little lighter, trying to lift his mood, "I know why you all left Forks in September. What I meant when I asked 'what took you so long' was why didn't you say anything when you came back? Either in Forks or since we arrived here. Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"

He was still beside me, he had even stopped breathing for a moment, and I was sure he was going to edit what he had to say.

"Edward, I want you to be completely honest with me. I think we both owe each other that much."

His eyes refocused on me, the look on his face becoming more determined.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt the moment I saw you," he started. "Bella, being without you was miserable for me. I thought about you every moment of every day, and by the time Carlisle contacted me, I was waging a war in my head, debating on whether or not I should return to you and beg you to take me back. I still felt that being with me was not the safest option for you, but my selfish side was winning out. I needed you too much. When I saw you in our home in Forks, after Alice told me what had happened, I wanted to take you in my arms and promise that I would never leave you again." He paused.

"Why didn't you?" I asked softly.

"At first, I wasn't sure how you would feel seeing me again. I was prepared to have you hate me, for causing you so much pain. But you didn't. You didn't lash out, the way I expected you to. You were so calm, and that surprised me. Then we spoke, and you told me that you wanted us to be friends." He closed his eyes for a brief moment, reliving that day in his memory, I was sure. He opened them slowly, and I could see the hurt he felt clearly in every inch of his beautiful face. "It was worse than I had imagined. You had gotten over me. I had wanted you to move on, forget about me, and live the human life I felt you deserved. I just hadn't known how much it would hurt. But you were willing to allow me into your life again, and that was more than I could have hoped for. I grasped at the opportunity that you had given me, and vowed to myself that I would be the best friend that you could ask for. That even if you didn't love me any longer, I could accept that as punishment for my mistakes, as long as I could still see you and be there for you, in any capacity that you wanted me to be."

We were both silent for a few moments, occupied by our own thoughts. I was also remembering that day, when he returned and we spoke for the first time in so many months. I had just changed into clean clothes in his room when he arrived. We sat on his couch while he apologized for leaving me, and I tried to let him know that he had nothing to feel guilty for.

_**"Edward, it's ok, really. You have to stop feeling guilty for things that are in the past. Can we just try to move forward, try to be friends?" I choked on the last word, knowing it would be next to impossible for me, but hoping to at least have him in my life. I didn't know if he'd be staying, but I didn't want it to be uncomfortable between us.**_

_**"Friends…" He looked up at me through his long lashes. While he spoke, he squeezed the hand he was still holding, his eyes full of an emotion I couldn't quite place. I shook my head to clear my mind.**_

I shook my head ruefully, a knowing smile growing on my face. Edward looked at me, perplexed.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I was just thinking. If I hadn't said anything, if I'd let you say what you wanted …"

"We'd be in the same place we are now, only a bit sooner." He smiled that crooked smile I loved so much as he gripped my hand tighter. "No regrets, remember?"

My smile faltered then, because I would always have a few regrets. Not with Edward, or his family. No, my regrets were for my family; those I left behind before I could tell them just how much they meant to me, how thankful I was to have them, how much I loved them. My regret was that I never got to say goodbye.

I turned my body and my face away from Edward, trying to avoid his gaze, and spooned up against him. I closed my eyes and concentrated on keeping my breathing even and slow. The last time I had let myself dwell on my memories of Charlie, Renée, Jacob, and my friends, I had become so overwhelmed by the feeling of loss that I found myself hyperventilating, despite the fact that I no longer needed oxygen to survive. I had been out hunting with Rosalie that day, and we had separated for a short while to hunt on our own, agreeing to meet up once we were ready. Reaching the designated meeting place before her, I had sat down at the base of a huge tree, and enjoyed the sensation of the blood from the hunt coursing its way through my body. I let my mind wander, not concentrating on anything in particular, just wanting to feel.

It was during these times that I felt as if I were dreaming, while still awake. My dreams when I was human had always been so vivid, and so meaningful, often providing me while asleep with the answers I so desperately sought during my waking hours. After I hunted, if I were able to sit quietly and let my body absorb the nourishment it received, my mind would race, skipping from subject to subject, giving me flashes of information or inspiration. I couldn't always be sure which.

The last time this had happened, while I had been out with Rosalie, my mind provided me with images of Charlie and Renée, sitting together in Charlie's tiny kitchen, holding hands. Renée was sobbing quietly, Charlie's face was stoic – older looking, and exhausted. Phil, Renée's husband, had entered then and had sat on her opposite side, clutching her other hand, his face sad, but also lost, as if searching for any words that would provide support or comfort or solace, but none would come. I had wondered vaguely what had upset them all. This wasn't a memory, I was sure of that. Charlie and Phil had never been together at Charlie's house.

And then my eyes had snapped open, my breathing escalated, my hands were balling into fists and I felt a strong compulsion to get up and run to Forks as fast as my feet would propel me. I couldn't explain what I had just experienced, but I was sure that all of my parents were in Forks at that very moment, and that they were mourning me.

I had stood quickly, debating with myself whether I should go or not, anxiety over-riding my senses. I had almost convinced myself I was strong enough, and controlled enough, to make it to Forks and back without causing anyone any harm, when Rosalie had joined me, returning from her hunting. She had approached me with a look of concern on her face. She had asked if I was okay, and told me that I looked a bit nervous, or frightened. I told her I was fine, just flushed from the excitement of the hunt, and we returned to the house. I spent the walk back thankful that Rosalie had returned when she had. The closer we got to the house, the surer I became that if I had left for Forks, I wouldn't have been able to control my instincts as much as I thought I could.

I never told anyone about what had happened in the forest, how close I came to risking all we had been working together to avoid – my potential for hurting a human. I had tried to discuss it with Alice a few times, but opted to keep it to myself instead. I couldn't articulate it in my own head, let alone try to explain it to someone else.

"You're awfully quiet all of a sudden," his velvety voice whispered in my ear. I felt a shiver work its way through every nerve ending in my body, and my breathing hitched at the sensation.

"Just thinking," I responded quietly.

"About?"

I sighed. Telling Edward what was on my mind would certainly change the dynamic in the room, something I was hesitant to do at the moment. I had waited for so long to have his arms around me that I wasn't ready to end it yet, but I also knew Edward well enough to know that I had never been able to hide anything from him for long. And if I was honest with myself, I would have to admit that if I were going to experience the same overwhelming pain and longing that I felt that day in the woods, I would rather it happen when he was with me. I had always been so much stronger when he was by my side than when I tried to handle things alone.

"I … was thinking about … Charlie … and Renée," I whispered softly, feeling the surge of emotion swell up within my chest as I pictured their faces in my mind, and realized that the images weren't as clear as they had been. I was already beginning to forget some of the details, no matter how much I wished that it wouldn't happen. "I was wondering how they're doing, how they're dealing with …. my death. Charlie, Renée, Phil." I paused, and added a final name to my thoughts. "Jacob." I felt my body start to shudder with the sobs that were beginning to overtake me, and I turned to look into Edward's eyes, already full of pain and hurt. "I do have regret, Edward. I regret that I never had a chance to tell them all how much I love them."

And with that, I rolled over again and buried my face in his chest, the choking sobs shaking my body, my hands clasping Edward's shirt in my hands, his arms grasping me tightly to him, while he softly crooned words of love and comfort.

Some time later, after I had regained my composure, Edward moved to sit us both up on the bed. He maneuvered himself so that he was sitting behind me, his back against the headboard, with me in front of him leaning back onto his chest. His arms were wrapped around my waist, my hands clasped within his, resting on my stomach. My head was resting on his shoulder, my eyes closed. I felt slightly better, his presence providing a sense of calm. Neither of us had spoken since my confession, and though I longed to hear his voice, I couldn't bring myself to disrupt the silence.

"Are you okay?" he asked, while moving his head slowly to place a gentle kiss on my hair.

"Umm hmm," I replied, not trusting my voice to be steady.

Edward was quiet for a few moments, before he spoke again.

"Bella, I have something for you … something that I hope will help you through all of this. But I'm not entirely sure if giving it to you now would be the right thing to do."

"Why not?" I inquired, my eyes open now, and looking up at his anxious expression.

"I don't want to upset you further." His reply was simple, but the intensity in his eyes showed the depth of his concern. I squeezed his hand.

"I think I'll be fine, as long as you're here with me." I gave him a tentative smile.

He paused a moment, then released my hands, and leaned down to place a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" He wasn't going to leave me now, was he? After I just told him I needed him here?

"Just to my room." A soft kiss on the lips. "Count to ten. I'll be back before you reach five." He was off the bed and out the door in an instant, returning seconds later. His speed still made me catch my breath at times. He sat down facing me, rather than next to or behind me. In his hands was a cardboard box I recognized from the recent move. He placed the box next to the bed, and then moved his hands forward to grasp mine quickly. I wondered vaguely if he had felt the loss of my touch as acutely as I had felt the loss of his in the brief moments he was gone.

He looked down at our fingers, entwined together again, before tilting his head to look in my eyes.

"You remember that when Alice and Jasper brought you here, I stayed behind in Forks."

"Yes," I replied, "to return the rental cars with Carlisle." And because I hadn't felt strong enough to be in the same car with you at the time, I silently reminded myself.

"That was the initial reason, yes. Do you remember that Carlisle and I stayed in Forks a few days longer than originally expected?"

I nodded my head, unsure where he was going with this.

"Not too long after you left that night, I left Carlisle at the house, and ran over to Charlie's." I gasped softly. I hadn't been expecting that. "I know how much you love him, and how important each of you is to the other, and I knew that if things had been different, if I had stayed and you had joined me at some point in the future, you would have spent more time with him, and had the chance to say a proper goodbye." He looked down, his voice softer now. "It didn't happen that way though, and I felt badly about that." He looked up at me again, his eyes full of compassion and caring. "I wanted to find some small way to try to rectify that, so I went to the house. He was asleep when I arrived; not quite dreaming, but his mind was remembering bits and pieces of your life with him. You were always on his mind to a certain extent, Bella. I hope you know that. He loved having you living with him, even if he didn't know how to put it into words."

"Thank you, for checking on him for me. I really appreciate it." I was moved by Edward's actions. He had been under the impression that I held no more feeling for him than I did for any random person in my world, but he still felt enough for me to risk visiting my father's house to see how he was holding up.

"You never have to thank me. I care about Charlie, too, you know, even if I wasn't his favorite person in the world." He flashed his crooked smile and I couldn't help but smile in return. That was an understatement, I thought to myself. "I went to your room and collected a few of your belongings for you, and I left something for Charlie to find."

His smile faltered slightly, his lips tight, trying to read my reaction. I swallowed the lump I felt forming in my throat, and in a shaky voice I asked him what he had left behind.

Edward reached down into the box on the floor, only opening the top flap enough to slip his hand inside without revealing its contents. I watched his hand disappear inside, then pull back holding an envelope of some sort. I gasped and my hand rushed to cover my mouth as I realized what he held in his hand. My photos. The packet of photos I had sent to Renée.

"Edward, where did you …" My voice trailed off. I couldn't put the pieces together. How did he get the photos back from Renée? Why would he have taken them?

He looked chagrined, and slightly ashamed, as he responded.

"Bella, I never mailed them. I removed them from within the letter before I mailed it. The photos never left Forks. Even though I uttered those horrible words – that I would leave no trace of myself behind – I couldn't bring myself to destroy them, but I couldn't bear to have the reminders with myself either. And selfishly, I still wanted you to have them, even if you didn't know they were in your possession, so I left them under the floorboards of your bedroom. You already had the most important thing I leave with you, but I wanted you to have these as well."

"I don't understand. What did I have of yours? What 'important thing'?" I quickly searched my mental inventory of my bedroom. What had I held onto that belonged to him? There was nothing, nothing I could recall that would be of such significance to him.

He reached over and softly lifted my chin to look deep in my eyes. "You had my heart, Bella. You've always owned my heart." His intense stare made my insides melt and I felt another shiver flow through my body.

A small smile came to my lips as I looked down, and I could feel a flush creeping its way up the sides of my neck and across my face. He moved his hand from under my chin to cup my jaw, his thumb softly caressing my cheek. "I'll miss that when it's all gone," he whispered.

I met his gaze again. "What?" I spoke just as softly as he did.

"The blush in your cheeks. You still have enough human blood inside of you. It's not quite as noticeable as it used to be, but it's there." He sighed quietly. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here with me, for loving me, for being you. For everything." His thumb was still caressing my face, lightly fluttering over my cheekbones, soft and sensual. He leaned into me and placed a soft kiss on my lips, and all too quickly he pulled back. I watched him swallow, and blink a few times. He was just as flustered by our kisses as I was.

"So, to get back to the story," he winked at me, "I sat on your bed and flipped through the photos quickly, remembering the days they had been taken, and all the emotions that we had both been experiencing that week, until I found the one I was looking for. " He had taken these photos out of the envelope and flipped through them, as if recreating the image for me. He stopped at one particular photo, looked at it longingly for a moment, and then handed it to me.

It was Charlie and me in our living room. Charlie was sitting on the couch, I had knelt beside him, and when Edward had prompted us to smile, I had, though the smile didn't come close to looking happy to me – I knew how distressed I had been that day. I doubted that Charlie would see that deeply into it, though. I was sure he would just attribute the look on my face to being very uncomfortable – neither of us liked being the center of attention.

Edward's voice interrupted my reverie.

"I found the other copy of that same photo in your photo album. I took it out, and in a copy of your handwriting, I wrote a little note on the back for Charlie."

I looked at him then, a mixture of confusion and fear on my face. He wrote a note on the photo? Saying what? Charlie thought I was dead, how could I send him messages from beyond the grave?

"Don't worry. I didn't mean that kind of note." He had obviously seen the look of trepidation on my face. "I just wrote the date the photo was taken, and then below that, I wrote 'I love you, dad. Thank you.' That way it would seem to Charlie that you had always meant for him to have it at some point, but it would also tell him how you felt about him. I was going to leave it on the kitchen table for him to find when he woke up, but I thought he might be a bit freaked out by that. I don't think he believes in ghosts, but just in case, I didn't want him thinking the house might be haunted."

I chuckled at that thought. The look that would have been on Charlie's face as he entered the kitchen to find that a photo of the two of us, with a message on the back, had just mysteriously materialized on the table was indescribable. I pictured him waffling between standing still as stone, afraid to move, and quickly drawing his service revolver, ready to attack anything that moved. The small amount of laughter quieted quickly, my fingers absent-mindedly tracing his features – the outline of his face, his hairline, and his strong shoulders. My breath hitched in my chest as I brought the photo to my lips and I kissed Charlie's image softly.

"I love you, dad, and I miss you so much." I whispered. I looked up at Edward, who was watching me closely, his arms tense, as if preparing to lift me into his arms at the first sign of distress.

"Thank you, Edward. Honestly, this is the greatest thing you could have given me right now." I clutched the photo to my chest, as I leaned over and with one arm, I hugged Edward close to me. All the emotion I was experiencing was lodging itself in the middle of my throat, rendering me unable to say anymore, not that I could find the right words anyway.

All of the Cullen's had often told me that human memories fade over time. Since I had become one myself, I had often wondered how long it would be before I forgot my memories, and the thought scared me. I didn't want to forget. My experience with Rosalie in the woods a few weeks ago had brought the fear to the surface – I was already forgetting, my memories seemed to be viewed through a filter, a fuzzy haze starting to permeate the images.

And now Edward was here, giving me the greatest gift – photographic images of the people in my life. I slowly looked at the photos. Charlie, Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben, Tyler, Katie, even Lauren – all were captured for eternity in snapshots. I only wished that I had been able to take photos of Jacob, and Renée and Phil. Then the collection would be complete.

"The photos are only a small part of what I have here, Bella." I looked up at him expectantly. He laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked, smiling at his joyous reaction.

"You just seemed so excited – a reaction I'm not used to when it comes to giving you things." His eyebrow lifted slightly, daring me to argue the point with him. I rolled my eyes.

"These aren't presents, Edward. They are things that already belong to me. Totally different scenarios." He pursed his lips together, considering my debate point. He seemed to give in then.

"You're right. Though I won't give up hope that one day I'll be able to give you a present and you'll be excited to receive it."

"Don't hold your breath," I replied, trying to sound annoyed, but smiling through my retort.

"It wouldn't change anything if I did," he smirked at me.

"Very funny. So what else did you confiscate?"

He leaned over and pulled the box onto the bed. It wasn't large and didn't seem all that heavy. I slowly lifted the flaps and was surprised by what I found inside. I slowly lowered my hands into the cardboard packaging and pulled out my box, laying it in my lap. My hands shaking, I softly caressed the painting on the top of the small chest, stars and the moon on a midnight blue background. I looked up to find him watching me expectantly.

"Open it," he prodded.

I watched his face, my hands working of their own accord to lift the lid of the box. Inside his eyes, a swirl of emotions were surfacing – love, fear, happiness, sorrow. I wondered if I was watching his emotions, or a reflection of my own. Lifting the lid, I looked down into what I had affectionately called my treasure chest.

I hesitantly moved the items inside around to see what the chest now held. I quickly decided that I would hold off deeply examining the contents within until I was alone. I wasn't sure how much more time we had before the family returned, and I didn't want to spend that time in a whirlwind of loss and heartache. My old photo album was there – photos of Renée! – along with my favorite classic novels, a few articles of clothing, my grandmother's jewelry – he remembered! – and what looked like the CD he had made me for my 18th birthday. I picked that item up and held it out to Edward.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes," he replied, the chagrined look on his face again.

"Please?" I gestured to the CD player. With a light smile, he took the CD from my hands and crossed the room to switch the discs. Moments later, the melodic strains of my lullaby filled the room. I smiled to myself. My memory hadn't done the music justice.

He returned to sit behind me, his arms wrapping themselves around me again, in the position we had been in earlier. I closed my eyes and leaned back against him, letting the music wash over me, feeling his fingers lightly tap against me in time with the music, as if playing an imaginary keyboard.

"You don't want to examine what's in the box?" he asked quietly, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I knew what that meant.

I lifted one of my hands to reach slightly behind me, finding the side of his face, and I stroked his cheek gently.

"Not right now. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me everything I would have asked for myself, and a few surprises, too. I know they're here, and that's enough for me at the moment. It was the right thing to do, Edward, the perfectly right thing to do. Thank you." I nestled myself in closer to him, and felt him pull me tighter against his chest.

"I'm so glad. I was worried that it would be too difficult for you, to revisit all of the memories so soon after .. " His voice became quiet.

"It's not easy, but I would rather have the memories than to lose them. I never wanted to lose them. And now I won't, thanks to you. I'll be able to remember everyone." I paused, realizing my comment wasn't exactly true. "Well, almost everyone," I added softly.

Edward shifted his head to the side, to watch my face as he asked his question.

"Who won't you be able to remember?"

I turned to look into his eyes, the sadness in mine meeting the knowing in his. Did he know what I was about to say?

"Do you remember Jacob? Jacob Black? The boy who came to the prom?" The boy who was paid by his father to warn me to stay away from you and your family, the boy who became my best friend, the boy who shut me out of my life for some unknown reason?

"I do."

"Well, Jacob and I became good friends while you ... were away … and he really helped me when I needed someone. We weren't talking just before …" I still couldn't say it out loud, "but that doesn't mean that I won't miss him. Though I guess in retrospect, it's a good thing we weren't speaking then."

"Why's that?" Edward asked politely.

"Because Jacob and I had been going hiking together," I watched him raise his eyebrow at me. "Yes, we would go hiking together; it had become a bit of a routine with us. But that week or so, he wasn't talking to me, I don't know why, and I decided to go alone. That's how," I swallowed, _"he_ found me alone."

Edward was quiet, waiting for me to continue, but there was nothing else I could say. I would never know why Jacob had shut me out of his life, and Jacob would never know how much I truly appreciated his support and friendship over the past months.

"Bella, when you told Alice what happened, didn't you say something about wolves appearing to scare Laurent away?"

"Yes," I replied, surprised at the randomness of his query. "But they weren't your typical Olympic wolf … these were huge." I thought back to the very large wolves I had originally thought were bears. "Actually, huge doesn't even tell it right, they were enormous. I thought they were going to kill me, but they just left me there and chased off after Laurent. There was one that stopped and looked at me, like it was watching me, and then it ran off, too. I'd never seen anything like them before."

"It was watching you, Bella. To make sure you were okay."

My head whipped around to stare at him fully. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you remember of the Quileute legends? About the werewolves and the cold ones?" My mind was transported back to the cold day at First Beach, sitting with Jacob on the driftwood tree, listening to him tell me stories about mythical creatures.

"I remember Jacob telling me the stories, and that he didn't believe them, though the Elders did. How the males could turn into werewolves to protect the rest of the tribe." I looked at Edward's face, his expression indicating to me that he believed in these legends as well. "You don't really believe all of that, do you?"

"I was there, over 70 years ago, when the treaty was created between the Quileute elders and our coven. The treaty defined the boundary between LaPush and Forks, and as well as the terms that would allow us to all co-exist peacefully. I believed it then." He watched me closely. "And I believed it when I ran into a werewolf outside of Charlie's house that night. A werewolf who was trying to see if Laurent had any 'friends' in the area. A werewolf who is very close to Charlie and wanted to protect him from anyone or anything that would cause him harm. And a werewolf who misses his best friend, and wishes that he could have arrived sooner to protect her from the circumstances that led to her transformation."

I looked away from him for a moment, taking in what Edward was saying. Jacob Black was a Quileute werewolf? He couldn't be! He was just barely 16, not a man, still just a boy. Granted, he had been going through a growth spurt unlike anything I had ever seen, but growing inches taller and filling out his physique didn't grant him entry into adulthood.

"Edward, please be serious. Jacob isn't a werewolf!" I chuckled darkly. "That's impossible. I mean, Jacob being a werewolf is about as plausible as –"

"Us being vampires?" Edward cut in. I didn't have a response to that.

Edward's voice was soft and soothing. "He is a wolf, Bella, just as we are vampires." Something struck me when he put it so succinctly.

"He didn't attack you, did he?" I nearly yelled at him.

Edward just smiled, shaking his head. "No, he didn't attack me, though that's not to say that he didn't want to. No, believe it or not, we talked." I looked at him incredulously. "I'm not saying we're best friends, but we came to an understanding. And he did give me a message to give to you." I watched him expectantly. "He said that he was sorry that he had been avoiding you. It was his transformation. Young werewolves are notoriously unstable as they learn to control their reactions, and he was ordered to stay away from you to keep you safe. And, it is against the rules of the tribe to disclose their … changes to someone on the outside. He was very sorry when we spoke. Sorry that he had been hurting you, sorry that he hadn't saved you. He told me to tell you that, and that he loves you." His eyes tensed slightly toward the end, and I knew how hard it was for him to relay those sentiments on behalf of another.

"Wow, Jacob is a wolf. That explains so much. I had no idea, but at least now I know what was going on. When am I going to stop being surprised by the things that happen in your world?" I laughed.

"_Our_ world. And I'm hoping that we're through with those kinds of surprises." He angled his head down and nuzzled my neck, kissing me softly.

"Me, too. But with my luck, I'm not going to count on it," I murmured, losing myself in the sensations his lips were creating as they made their way up my neck, and along my jaw line, and finally, on my lips. My hands had snaked their way out of his grasp to reach around to his neck, pulling him closer to me when he pulled back abruptly.

"What's wrong?" I had been enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine, and by the way he was breathing, I could tell he did, too.

Edward leaned forward, his forehead in his hand, his head shaking side to side. His words came out in a low growl. "She has the worst timing."

With that, I could hear footsteps running up the stairs, and down the hall. I turned just as the door to my bedroom burst open, and a lithe figure hurled itself at me, arms catching me about the back pulling me into a crushing embrace.

"Oh, I am so happy you two finally figured it all out!" Alice squeezed me tighter once more, before pulling away, grabbing my hand, and pulling me off the bed.

"Alice! What are you doing?" I exclaimed angrily. I look back at Edward, an amused smirk on his face as he watched his sister yank me from the room.

"You have to tell me all about it!" she gushed. "I only get to see bits and pieces, but I want the full story! We've been waiting forever for this!" We were running down the stairs toward the back door of the house. I looked around quickly and couldn't see anyone else in sight.

"And what if I don't want to tell anyone about it?" I was thoroughly annoyed at being interrupted, but now I was expected to kiss and tell? This wasn't fair.

"Come on, Bella, we've all been waiting for this for so long! Much longer than you seem to realize." We were out the door and past the garage.

"We?" I asked warily.

"Of course, 'we'," Alice replied hastily. "Rose and Esme are waiting for us."

* * *


	17. Chapter 16 Bonfire

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer & each other. **_

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

"_What's wrong?" I had been enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine, and by the way he was breathing, I could tell he did, too. _

_Edward leaned forward, his forehead in his hand, his head shaking side to side. His words came out in a low growl. "She has the worst timing." _

_With that, I could hear footsteps running up the stairs, and down the hall. I turned just as the door to my bedroom burst open, and a lithe figure hurled itself at me, arms catching me about the back pulling me into a crushing embrace. _

"_Oh, I am so happy you two finally figured it all out!" Alice squeezed me tighter once more, before pulling away, grabbing my hand, and pulling me off the bed. _

"_Alice! What are you doing?" I exclaimed angrily. I look back at Edward, an amused smirk on his face as he watched his sister yank me from the room. _

"_You have to tell me all about it!" she gushed. "I only get to see bits and pieces, but I want the full story! We've been waiting forever for this!" We were running down the stairs toward the back door of the house. I looked around quickly and couldn't see anyone else in sight. _

"_And what if I don't want to tell anyone about it?" I was thoroughly annoyed at being interrupted, but now I was expected to kiss and tell? This wasn't fair. _

"_Come on, Bella, we've all been waiting for this for so long! Much longer than you seem to realize." We were out the door and past the garage._

"_We?" I asked warily. _

"_Of course, 'we'," Alice replied hastily. "Rose and Esme are waiting for us." _

**Chapter 16: Bonfire**

**EPOV**

'_I promise it'll be just a few minutes, Edward! We've been trying to be so patient, but you know I can't wait forever!' _Alice chided in her mind as she pulled Bella downstairs.

Having known Alice this long, I was not surprised that she would interrupt my time with Bella at exactly the wrong moment. I would be perfectly happy to give Bella up to the nosy females in my family, but just not quite so soon after realizing that we were still very much in love. If I was being honest, I wanted to keep her in my arms for hours, to refamiliarize myself with every square inch that was Bella.

To pass the time while they were gone, I decided I would tune the Grand Piano in the Great Room. It had been years since I'd played up here in Denali, and I wasn't sure what condition I would find it in. Surprisingly, it wasn't as out of tune as I had expected, so after a few minor adjustments, I began to play Esme's favorite composition, losing myself in the complex melodies.

Esme had always worried that I was too young before I was changed, and that I wouldn't have the chance to experience the emotions that the rest of my family had towards their spouses. I laughed at that now, having experienced all those emotions and then foolishly pushing the love of my life away. To be given a second chance with Bella was a miracle, if such things existed, and I would never allow myself to do her wrong again. I would prove every day for the rest of our existence that I was hers and she would always be the only one I'd ever want.

As the piece I was playing came to an end, I could hear my brothers walking in through the back door, bickering about something.

"No way dude, I totally had him!" Emmett boasted as he kicked the door shut behind him.

"Sure, you totally had him, until he pinned you to the ground with one leg and had you practically begging for mercy," Jasper said incredulously.

"Whatever, man. Remember it how you want," Emmett huffed, sprawling himself on the loveseat by the bay window.

I got up from the piano bench and relocated to the large sofa in the Great Room, settling in for the tale of Emmett's latest wrestling match. This distraction was a welcome one, since I couldn't get my mind off of Alice kidnapping Bella and when they would be home.

Apparently Emmett thought it would be fun to challenge the still-newborn Riley to a friendly wrestling match while they had all been at Tanya's home. Riley might have been physically half Emmett's size, but his strength would be double even Emmett's for at least a few more months.

Images were playing through Jasper's mind of how the fight actually went, and I snickered seeing the way things happened. Watching Riley easily take Emmett down was something I'd like to witness for myself, if the opportunity arose.

"Next time, I'll just have to compensate for how fast that little bugger moves." Emmett was pondering his game plan for his next match, which of course would be one of his top priorities.

'_Edward?' _Jasper looked at me thoughtfully, raising his eyebrows. _'Where is everyone? Is everything okay? Do you want to talk about it?'_

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat; hadn't Alice filled them in? "Everything's fine, Jasper. The girls took Bella for a walk, but I don't know what's taking so long."

"Hmm, 'girl talk'. We should just be glad we're missing it." Emmett frowned for half a second. "I'm thinking it might be cool to build a bonfire, you guys up for that?" He bounced up from the loveseat, heading back out the door he had come in.

I glanced at Jasper, who just shrugged and followed Emmett. Bella would be back soon, and the idea of holding her by the fire sounded nice, so I jumped up to join my brothers.

Emmett had a small blaze going when I walked into the large yard behind the house.

"Hey lover boy, so glad you could join us!" Emmett said as he stoked the fire with a tree branch.

I snorted, and folded myself onto the ground by Jasper. "I was going to help you get some more wood, but now I think I'll just watch."

"Don't mess with my fire-building skills, little brother," Emmett smirked through the growing flames.

I sighed and ran both my hands through my hair in frustration. Emmett was prattling on about their time up at Tanya's home, something about Eleazar's airplane collection, and how he decided he would be buying a plane of his own and getting his pilots license. As much as I normally enjoyed my brothers' company, I was becoming anxious. I had been without Bella in my arms for too long, and now that we had realized our true feelings, it was painful being away from her.

The sounds of my sisters' thoughts began to register at that moment, and I knew they would be home soon. I exhaled as relief washed over me. Jasper picked up on my reaction and chuckled quietly under his breath without looking in my direction. I was glad he didn't draw any attention to me; it seemed Emmett was more than willing to rib me in any way possible tonight. This made me look forward to having Rosalie rejoin him; he needed a few good backhands.

Within minutes, I could hear their approach, and Jasper and I strolled over to the edge of the garage where they would be appearing. He squeezed my shoulder lightly, letting me know he understood how I was feeling. I knew now, better than ever before, that Bella was like a drug for me, and I was in absolute withdrawal from her.

Alice zipped around the corner and into Jasper's arms like a bolt of lightning while the others walked over to us at a casual pace. Bella was behind Alice and Rose with Esme, her face angled down slightly, looking up tentatively at me. Her shyness was adorable and I grinned widely at her. Once she noted how relieved I was to see her, her eyes brightened and she picked up her pace. I opened up my arms and she melted into me.

"I survived," she teased, still smiling.

"I'm glad you're back," I murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

As she snaked her arms around my waist, she whispered into my chest, "I missed you."

A shudder rippled through my body as I felt her breath through my thin cotton shirt. I bent down to kiss her under her ear before I whispered, "Me, too."

Bella began to pull away, but I didn't let her get far, wrapping my arm firmly around her waist to lead her over toward the fire. As we walked I heard Esme's thoughts bursting with happiness over my embrace with Bella. I couldn't help but smile at that. Happiness, that a short while ago seemed impossible, was now surrounding me.

"Did Carlisle stay with Eleazar?" Esme asked.

"Yes, he did. They were discussing some things in his study when we left. He shouldn't be much longer now, though," Jasper replied, looking up at the sky.

We were all sitting casually around the fire making small talk when we heard Carlisle return.

"This is a nice scene to come home to," he said as he kissed Esme on the cheek, taking his place by her side. Glancing in my direction, I heard his thoughts. _'I'm glad things went well for you, Edward.'_

It really was nice to be here like this, my family was so comfortable, and I no longer felt awkward and self-conscious around Bella. It was as if all the months of despair had never taken place; it was _right_. I glanced down at her, and she was laughing at one of Emmett's stories. The firelight was reflecting off her mahogany hair, hinting at red highlights. She looked positively glorious, and I hoped she felt as complete in this moment as I did.

Emmett was enjoying reminiscing about Bella's human days and she was humoring him gracefully. "…I think one of my favorite human-Bella moments was last spring when she figured out she was being taken to the prom. Remember, Edward? I've never seen a human's cheeks flush such a dark red! Priceless…I bet you're not sad to be missing it this year, eh Bella?"

She laughed quietly in response, as Emmett launched into another one of his anecdotes. Within moments, I felt her body stiffen. Sensing her distress, Jasper glanced from Bella to me. I hoped Emmett hadn't taken this too far. She had just opened up to me tonight regarding her feelings about the parts of her human life she had left behind. I was certain that the Forks Senior prom wouldn't be high on the experiences she would be upset to have missed, but the story of our Junior prom seemed to have caused her to react much more negatively than any of the others.

"Everything ok?" I whispered softly, squeezing her hand, letting her know I was here for her.

"Everything's fine," she muttered in response. I knew she wasn't being honest, however, when she drew her knees up to her chest, releasing my hand and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Well, since the sun will be coming up shortly, I'm thinking about heading in. Will you join me, Bella?" I stood, reaching my hand out to her. I was desperate to keep anything from getting in the way of the happiness I had felt with Bella a few hours ago, and needed to know what was on her mind. The thoughts of my family echoed my concerns. Particularly Emmett.

'_Oh, man…I'm sorry Edward, I didn't mean to upset her, you know that right?'_

I nodded slightly in his direction to let him know I understood.

Alice pursed her lips as she watched us saying our goodnights. _'We'll talk about this tomorrow, ok Edward?'_

After acknowledging Alice, we made our way into the house. Bella walked slowly beside me, staring blankly ahead, not meeting my eyes as I glanced over to see her expression.

"Will you watch a movie with me?" I asked hopefully as I led her to her bedroom, trying to find an excuse to continue to spend time by her side, hoping she wouldn't shut me out of whatever she was feeling.

"I'm not really in the mood to watch a movie right now, I hope you don't mind." She looked up at me with a sad smile on her face. I hesitated at her door, but as she opened it, she pulled me behind her.

"Of course not. What's wrong? It's ok to tell Emmett to shut up when he starts going like that, you know. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be." I sat down on her bed, pulling her onto my lap, where I was able rub her back in an effort to comfort her. She curled into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder, her hands fidgeting in her lap. We stayed like that a while before Bella spoke, her voice barely a whisper.

"Emmett didn't do anything wrong. It's just that his mentioning the Prom made me realize that it'll be time for graduation in a few weeks. Then I thought about all the friends I'll never see again, and then ... I thought about Charlie." Bella started to sob a little bit when she mentioned her father. "I hope this isn't too hard on him. I know he was looking forward to seeing me graduate. He mentioned once that it would be his first 'official' appearance as a father." She chuckled darkly through her sobs. "I really wish there was something I could do, it feels awful just sitting here while I know he's hurting, you know?"

"I suppose you wouldn't be you if you reacted any other way, love. Charlie has a lot of people who care about him, and friends that are looking out for him right now. I hope you know that," I said as I held her close, kissing her softly on the top of her head. This seemed to calm her for the moment.

"Thank you." She sighed and wrapped her arms around my neck, and I was filled with relief that she was allowing me to comfort her. I wanted nothing more than to take her mind off the course it was headed down. I pulled back slightly from our embrace, looking deeply in her eyes, hoping I still had the ability to "dazzle" her. I felt her tremble and her eyes began to slightly glaze over. I exhaled slowly trying not to break her from whatever hold I had on her. While I ran my hands gently up and down her arms, I began my favorite trail of kisses down her jaw line to below her ear, and slowly down her neck. As I made my way back up to her ear, I whispered "I love you, Bella... forever."

I felt her hands loosen from my hair as she placed one on either side of my face. While looking into my eyes again she whispered back, "Forever."

She leaned in and caught my mouth with her own. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of her lips on mine. I couldn't help but gasp as I felt her tongue trace my lower lip. I reminded myself that I didn't have to be careful with Bella now. With a sigh, I parted my lips in response. Without the pull of her blood holding me back, I lost myself in the sensation, reveling in the way it felt to move my lips with hers this way, as I had only dreamed of. I simply couldn't get close enough to her; wanting to feel every inch of her against me. I leaned back, slowly pulling her with me to lie down on her bed. Her eyes fluttered open.

"I just want to feel you in my arms, Bella. I'm in no rush," I whispered. She smiled and immediately pulled me back to her. We held each other until the sun began to peek through the windows.

"So, I guess that's what vampires do for fun, hmm?" She teased as she pulled away from me.

"I can't think of anything _I'd_ rather do," I said as I brushed my fingers across her cheek.

She went to stand up, and froze in place. She began to speak, but snapped her mouth shut, and shook her head.

"Bella?" I asked, as I struggled to understand her behavior.

"Hmm?" She said, appearing in a daze

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't know…sometimes I just get these strange feelings, I don't know why, but my stomach clenches and I feel tense from head to toe. It's been happening on and off for awhile now." She looked up at me tentatively as I walked over to take her hand in mine.

"That _is _strange. Maybe we should talk to Carlisle." I offered, thinking maybe it had something to do with her being a newborn, not quite understanding her heightened senses.

"I'm sure it's nothing. I'm probably just over-reacting," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"Well, we should bring it up just the same," I said as I led her out of her room and down to see what the rest of the family was up to.

"Hey there," Alice smiled at us from her spot on the large couch where she was tapping away at the keyboard of her laptop.

"Good morning, Alice," Bella said as she dropped down to sit next to her.

"Jasper was hoping to speak with you, Bella. I think he's looking for a hunting partner today," Alice said nonchalantly, but looked up at me meaningfully. _'I need to speak to you Edward, so please go along with me.'_

"Hmm, I guess that would be a good idea. Unless you need to go, Edward?" Bella asked.

"No, no. I went a few days ago with Emmett. You go ahead, just promise to hurry back." I winked at her.

"Bella, Edward, good morning." Jasper walked into the room and sat on Alice 's other side. He kissed the top of her head, draping his arm on the back of the couch behind her. "Did you have any plans to go hunting today, Bella? Alice said it's been a while since you last went?"

"I'll come along. When were you thinking of going?" Bella asked.

"Whenever you're ready, anytime." He answered.

"What will you do while we're gone?" She asked me, squeezing my hand.

"I was thinking of tinkering on my piano, actually. I started to tune it yesterday when Alice swept you away, and I'd like to finish what I started," I replied, laughing as Alice stuck her tongue out at me.

"All right, let's go then!" Bella stood, kissing me softly before turning to Jasper and they headed out through the kitchen.

"What can I do for you, Alice?" I asked, although I knew exactly what she wanted to talk about.

"Like you don't know. I think everyone saw how Bella reacted to the story from last year's prom. Did she say anything about it?" Alice began nervously wringing her hands in her lap.

"Well, when she realized that it would soon be time for the senior prom, it clicked with her that it would also soon be time for graduation. And, of course she is worried about Charlie and how difficult this will be for him." I said, shaking my head. "She's upset that there isn't anything she can do to ease his pain."

"Now I understand," Alice said as she stared blankly ahead.

"What do you understand?"

"Edward, we need to do something. I've seen her trying to go down to Charlie, and it doesn't end well. In fact, her future sort of…disappears," she said nervously.

"Disappears, what does _that_ mean?" I almost shouted, trying to keep calm, but failing.

"I don't know. Maybe if I go visit Charlie, it will stop her from making that decision," Alice said, hopping off the couch now, pacing.

"I should go. I need to check in with the Quileutes, to find out if they've had any visitors to report," I said.

I heard someone moving towards us in the house, and picked up Carlisle's thoughts before he entered the room. "What's this I hear about going to Forks?" he asked.

Alice filled him in on our discussion, and I repeated that I'd like to check in with the wolves.

"Well, it certainly wouldn't be a good thing to let Bella do something she would regret later on," Carlisle said, rubbing his chin between his thumb and fingers. "Perhaps we should go. I'd like to speak with the Quileutes myself."

Alice stared ahead unseeingly. "Your futures both just disappeared. Why is that? Whenever the wolves are involved, I lose my vision, I just don't understand it." She was clearly not happy about this, as she continued to pace.

"Hmm, I'm not sure why that would be. But, everything turned out ok last time, Alice," I stated evenly, hoping to calm her down.

"You're right; I just don't like not knowing." She frowned.

"We will have to discuss this later; we have company arriving. I'm sure once we tell Bella that we will see to Charlie that will help ease her mind," Carlisle said as I focused on who our guests would be. Alice and I looked at each other, neither of us wanting to delay the conversation.

The voices of Kate and Riley, walking down the path that led to our house, became clearer with each step they took.

* * *

AN: Sorry this chapter took longer than expected to get posted ... lets just say that I, for one, will be happy when the kids are back in school and life can get back on a regular schedule! ;)

We've received a few inquiries as to whether or not we're abandoning this story – NO we aren't! The story still has a way to go, and we plan to see it through to the end! Thanks to all of our readers who have enjoyed the story so far! We hope you continue to enjoy it – because things are going to get very interesting very quickly! wink

Please review – we read every single one and try to reply to them all! :) We enjoy hearing what you do and don't like about the story, as well as your theories and thoughts! ... IsabellaMCullen & TotalEclipse


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